Treehouse of Horror IV/Quotes

Quotes

Season 5 Episode Quotes

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085

"Rosebud"

086
"Treehouse of Horror IV"

"Marge on the Lam"

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Bart: Paintings. Lifeless images rendered in colorful goop. But at night, they take on a life of their own. They become portals to hell so scary and horrible and gruesome that --

Marge: Bart! You should warn people this episode is very frightening and maybe they'd rather listen to that old The War of the Worlds broadcast on NPR, Hmmm?

Bart: Yes, mother.

Lenny: Sorry Homer. While you were daydreaming, we ate all the donuts.

Carl: Well, there were a few left but we chucked them at an old man for kicks.

Homer: Dear Homer, I.O.U. one emergency donut. Signed, Homer. Bastard. He's always one step ahead. Oh, I'd sell my soul for a donut!

Flanders the Devil: Well, that can be arranged.

Homer: Flanders! You're the devil?

Flanders the Devil:It's always the one you least suspect!

Mr. Burns: Hmm... Who's that goat-legged fellow? I like the cut of his jib.

Waylon Smithers: Uh, the Prince of Darkness, sir. He's your eleven o'clock.

Homer: Mmmm... forbidden donut.

Flanders the Devil: Oh you Americans with your due process and fair trials. This is always so much easier in Mexico.

Demon technician: So, you like donuts, eh?

Homer: Uh, huh.

Demon technician: Well! Have all the donuts in the world!! [cackles]

Homer: More. Mmmm.

Demon technician: I don't understand it. James Coco went mad in 15 minutes.

Lionel Hutz: Mr. Simpson, don't you worry. I watched Matlock in a bar last night. The sound wasn't on, but I think I got the gist of it.

Skeleton judge: Hear ye, hear ye! The Court of Infernal Affairs is now in session.

Lionel Hutz: Very well. But first, some ground rules. Number one: We get bathroom breaks every half-hour.

Flanders the Devil: Agreed. Number two: The jury will be chosen by me.

Lionel Hutz: Agreed. No, wait...

Flanders the Devil: I simply ask for what is mine.

Lionel Hutz: That was a right pretty speech, sir. But I ask you, what is a contract? Webster's defines it as an agreement under the law which is unbreakable. Which is unbreakable. Excuse me, I must use the restroom.

Blackbeard: Arrr... 'Tis some kind of treasure map.

Benedict Arnold: You idiot, you can't read.

Blackbeard: Aye, 'tis true. My debauchery was my way of compensatin'.

Principal Skinner: Hello, Simpson. I'm riding the bus today because Mother hid my car keys to punish me for talking to a woman on the phone. She was right to do it.

Bart: Eyahh! Everybody! There's a monster on the side of the bus!

Jimbo Jones: Hey, there's no monster!

Ralph Wiggum: You're deceptive.

Otto Mann: I don't see anything.

Milhouse Van Houten: Hey, who's driving the bus?

Otto: Oh, uno momento, por favor.

Skinner: Now I've gotten word that a child is using his imagination, and I've come to put a stop to it.

Bart: No! No, it's true! There's a monster on the bus.

Skinner: The only monster on this bus is a lack of proper respect for the rules.

Ned Flanders: Aww, isn't that cute? He's trying to claw my eyes out.

Bart: Look at the bus! I was right, I tell ya! I was right!

Skinner: Right or wrong, your behavior was still disruptive, young man. Perhaps spending the remainder of your life in a madhouse will teach you some manners.

Nelson Muntz: Haw-haw!

Bart: We come now to the final and most terrifying painting of the evening. To even gaze upon it is to go mad.

Homer: They're dogs! And they're playing poker! [crazed laughter]

Bart: We had a story to go with this painting, but it was far too intense. So we just threw something together with vampires. Enjoy!

Chief Wiggum: We think we're dealing with a supernatural being, most likely a mummy. As a precaution, I've ordered the Egyptian wing of the Springfield Museum destroyed.

Marge: Lisa, stop being so suspicious. Did everyone wash their necks like Mr. Burns asked?

Count Burns: [over intercom] Welcome, come in. Ah, fresh victims for my ever-growing army of the undead.

Smithers: Sir, you have to let go of the button.

Count Burns: Oh, son of a bi...

Homer: Huh, ooooh, punch!

Lisa: Eww, Dad, this is blood.

Homer: Correction. Free blood.

Lisa: Mom, Dad! Mr. Burns is a vampire, and he has Bart!

Count Burns: Why Bart is right here.

Bart: Hello, Mother. Hello, Father. I missed you during my uneventful absence.

Homer: Oh, Lisa, you and your stories. Bart is a vampire, beer kills brain cells. Now let's go back to that... building... thingee... where our beds and TV... is.

Grampa: Quick! We have to kill the boy!

Marge: How'd you know he's a vampire?

Grampa: He's a vampire?! [screams]

Marge: Homer, we gotta do something! Today he's drinking people's blood, tomorrow he could be smoking!

Marge: No, I'm the head vampire! [maniacal laughing]

Lisa: Mom?

Marge: Well, I do have a life outside this house, you know.

← Season 4 Season 5 Quotes Season 6 →
Homer's Barbershop Quartet • Cape Feare • Homer Goes to College • Rosebud • Treehouse of Horror IV • Marge on the Lam • Bart's Inner Child • Boy-Scoutz 'n the Hood • The Last Temptation of Homer • $pringfield (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling) • Homer the Vigilante • Bart Gets Famous • Homer and Apu • Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy • Deep Space Homer • Homer Loves Flanders • Bart Gets an Elephant • Burns' Heir • Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song • The Boy Who Knew Too Much • Lady Bouvier's Lover • Secrets of a Successful Marriage