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Simpsons Bible Stories/Quotes

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Season 10 Episode Quotes
220 "Maximum Homerdrive"
221
"Simpsons Bible Stories"
"Mom and Pop Art" 222


Ned Flanders as God: Hi-diddly-ho, paradise dwellers!
Homer as Adam: [nervous] Uh, good morning, Lord. I just have to, ah, compliment you on this beautifully crafted mate.
God: Oh Adam, you're too kind.
Adam: No, you're too kind. And wise, and righteous... I can't believe you don't have a girlfriend.

God: Well, I'd better skedaddle. Oh, there's one more weensy little thing—you see that tree over there? I hate to be a bossy Betty, but I have to forbid you to eat its fruit.
Adam: No problem, Lord. And it would be even easier to avoid that temptation if I had a few extra wives.
Marge as Eve: [annoyed murmur]
Adam: Just sayin'...

Eve: Oh, how cute. Let's call this little guy a "groundhog..."
Adam: Sorry, I already gave him a name. "Land monster."
Eve: Really? Well, what do you call that thing on the branch?
Adam: "Branch monster."

Eve: Please stop eating that. God's gonna furious.
Adam: You're pretty uptight for a naked chick.

Adam: Oh, poor Eve. What are you doing out there in that horrible place?
Eve: I'm toiling! What does it look like?

Adam: This sucks. Things were so much better back in the Garden.
Eve: I'm sure God will let us return soon. I mean, how long can He hold a grudge?

Principal Skinner as the Pharaoh: Ah, excellent progress, Slavedriver Willie. Kudos on your whipping.
Groundskeeper Willie as Slavedriver Willie: Ah, he noticed.

Pharaoh: All right, read me back what I have so far, Mrs. Krabapatra.
Edna Krabappel as Mrs. Krabapatra: Bird. Bird. Giant eye... Pyramid. Bird.
Pharaoh: Mm-hm. Very good... Ah, giant eye. Dead fish. Cat head. Cat head. Cat head. Guy doing this..

Clancy Wiggum: Hey, Pharaoh, those half-pint slaves are exodusing as we speak.
Pharaoh: Well, I say good riddance to bad rubbish.
Clancy Wiggum: Okay, but who's gonna build your pyramids?
Pharaoh: Well, we cou—After them!

Milhouse as Moses: Well, Lisa, we're out of Egypt. So, what's next for the Israelites? Land of milk and honey?
Lisa: Hmm, well, actually, it looks like we're in for forty years of wandering the desert.
Moses: Forty years? But after that, it's clear sailing for the Jews, right?

Clancy Wiggum: King Solomon, these men need you to settle a dispute. They each claim ownership of this pie.
Homer as King Solomon: The pie shall be cut in two. Then each man shall receive... death. I'll eat the pie.

Bart as King David: I'm bored. Send in my jester.
Krusty the Clown: Hey, hey, King David! Ha, ha, how ya doin'? Now I'm not saying Jezebel's easy, but before she moved to Sodom, it was known for its pottery.

King David: I'll just give Goliath Two the ol' rock to the head, applause applause, "ya gotta believe in yourself, stay in school," and we're outta here.
Santa's Little Helper: I don't know, Davey.
King David: Quiet, you.
Santa's Little Helper: Oh, you've gotten pretty fat, Davey...

King David: What say you now, Goliath? Without your precious hair, you no longer possess your fantastic strength!
Nelson as Goliath II: That's Samson, idiot.

Goliath II: Let my proclamation go out across the land: Haw haw!
Crowd: Haw haw!

Ralph Wiggum: You're King David! I love you 'cause you kill people.
King David: Well, get yourself another hero, kid. I'm all washed up.
Ralph: Well, I guess it's up to Ralph to stop Goliath.

King David: Great news, everyone. Goliath is dead! Although I haven't seen his body, the blast that failed to kill me, surely killed the giant. Anyhoo, now that I'm your king again...

King David: Ralph! I thought you were dead!
Ralph: Nope!

Julius Hibbert: But Goliath was the greatest king we ever had.
King David: Whuh?
Julius Hibbert: He built roads, hospitals, libraries...
Carl Carlson: To us he was "Goliath the Consensus Builder."

Lisa: It's the Rapture. And I never knew true love.
Homer: I never used those pizza coupons.

Marge: Why aren't we ascending into Heaven? Oh, right. The sins.

Homer: Ooh, I smell barbecue! Hey, look! Oh, they're out of hot dogs! And the coleslaw has pineapple in it! German potato salad!
Season 10 Quotes
Lard of the Dance The Wizard of Evergreen Terrace Bart the Mother Treehouse of Horror IX When You Dish Upon a Star D'oh-in' in the Wind Lisa Gets an "A" Homer Simpson in: "Kidney Trouble" Mayored to the Mob Viva Ned Flanders Wild Barts Can't Be Broken Sunday, Cruddy Sunday Homer to the Max I'm with Cupid Marge Simpson in: "Screaming Yellow Honkers" Make Room for Lisa Maximum Homerdrive Simpsons Bible Stories Mom and Pop Art The Old Man and the "C" Student Monty Can't Buy Me Love They Saved Lisa's Brain Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo