Viva Ned Flanders/Quotes
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- Waylon Smithers, Jr.: This must be heartbreaking for you, sir.
- Charles Montgomery Burns: I'm just thinking of my employees—all the card sharps, bottom dealers, and shills. Where will they go?
- Smithers: They're managing your chain of nursing homes, sir.
- Mr. Burns: Excellent.
- Marge: Remember how excited we were when this place opened? Then a week later, we just forgot about it.
- Lisa: I'm surprised they bothered to move it when they moved the town.
- Marge: We'd better stop and get the car washed.
- Homer: Aaah, what's the rush? Might rain next week.
- Lenny Leonard: Hey, Homer. Car's kinda dirty.
- Homer: Really? You think I should get it washed?
- Lenny: What's your secret, Flanders? Goat placenta? Monkey sweat?
- Carl Carlson: Some kind of electric hat?
- Moe Szyslak: Holy water? It's holy water, right?!
- Maude Flanders: Well, you may be a bit cautious, but what's wrong with that? Some people like chunky peanut butter, some like smooth.
- Ned Flanders: Mmm-hmm. And some people steer clear of that whole hornet's nest. I'll stick with just plain white bread, thank you very much. Maybe with a--
- Maude, Rod, and Todd: Glass of water on the side for dippin'.
- Ned: Gosh darn it! Am I that pre-diddley-dictable? I've wasted my whole dang diddley life.
- Homer: Well, well, well. So flawless Flanders needs help from stinky-pants Simpson.
- Ned: Yeah, I, I guess I do.
- Homer: Welly, welly, welly... Mr. Clean wants to hang with Dirty Dingus Magee.
- Ned: How 'bout it, Homer? Will you teach me the secret of your intoxicating lust for life?
- Homer: Wellity, wellity, wellity...
- Ned: Stop that! Will you help me or not?
- Lisa: Heh, you're not really giving my father power of attorney, are you?
- Ned: Of course I... Oh, my stars! I can't do that.
- Ned: God Homer, watching you risk your life turned my beat box all the way up to .. Rumba! Yea, I was praying you'd be safe but to be honest, part of me wanted to see ya get splattered.
- Homer: Oh, I think someone just had his first taste of blood lust.
- Ned: I'll have a Shirley... no, a virgin... no, make it a children's... Oh, what the heck, you only live once. Give me a... White wine spritzer!
- Homer: But Ginger, honey, I am not the catch I appear to be.
- Ned: Ginger's my wife.
- Homer: Are you sure? Oh, rats.
- Graeme Edge: Cold-hearted Homer ditching his wife. While ancient Ned runs for his life.
- Justin Hayward: Chips of red and blue and white. But we decide...
- John Lodge: Can the poems, it's ass-whuppin' time.
- Ray Thomas: I want fatty.
- Amber Simpson: And don't you ever try to marry us again!
- Ginger Flanders: We found some guys who know how to treat a woman.
- Homer: But Amber, I can change!
- Ned: Will you shut up?