  
I'm with Cupid/Quotes
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
- Homer: And then the handsome prince realized he had to go to the bathroom really bad. But the evil ogre, Barney, had left the men's room in the most wicked condition. So the prince went out back to the enchanted alley...
- Lisa: That's not a fairy tale. It's just something that happened to you at Moe's.
- Homer: Sh-sh-sh. Anyway, the prince passed out for a hundred years, until he was awakened by the kiss of a noble raccoon...
- Marge: You're a lifesaver, Apu. All the other stores are closed.
- Apu: [appalled gasp] At eleven-thirty?! But this is the peak hour for stoned teenagers buying shiny things.
- Jimbo Jones: Whoooa, it's a living mirror. Cool hat.
- Marge: Well, when you have a free night, we'd love to have you two over for dinner.
- Apu: Oh please, do not be insane, you hosted our wedding. The least we can do is have you over for dinner. It is payback time. And this time it's personal.
- Apu: [on phone] I'm not checking up on you, Sanjay. I am simply asking you how many pennies you have left. Seven?! I'll be right there.
- Marge: What a lovely home!
- Manjula: Oh, you are too kind, Marge. I am sure you have noticed the many small imperfections that fill me with shame.
- Marge: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! If anything, your home makes me ashamed of my home!
- Manjula: Well, let us just say we both feel bad.
- Marge: Deal!
- Marge: Mmm, oh, this is delicious. What's in it?
- Manjula: Chick peas, lentils and rice.
- Marge: And what's in this?
- Manjula: Chick peas and lentils.
- Apu: Try it with rice.
- Marge: Maybe we should leave.
- Homer: Uh-uh, no way. I don't want to miss a word.
- Marge: You don't know what they're saying.
- Homer: I'm picking it up. "Sala" seems to mean jerk. And I think "Manjula" means some kind of spaceship.
- Marge: Then the bird sang "I Love the Nightlife"... with clever new lyrics.
- Homer: Yeah, I hate that song.
- Marge: I do too. But it was sweet.
- Marge: Homer, I've gone through seven years of receipts, and you've spent less on gifts for me than you have on temporary tattoos.
- Homer: But Marge, it's worth it. Look, the Taco Bell dog. Yo quiero Ta... Hey, where'd it go? Here boy!
- Principal Skinner: Edna won't even let me clap her erasers.
- Sideshow Mel: My Barbara will no longer pleasure me with the French arts.
- Moe Szyslak: The gal I'm stalking had me bumped back to two hundred feet.
- Chief Wiggum: A croissant? What the...? Oh, that's right. They have breakfast at Tiffany's now.
- Horatio McCallister: Arr, it's kind of ya to deliver these copies of Juggs. They'll keep my men from resorting to homosexuality... for about ten minutes.
- Homer: Mr. John. I'm your biggest fan. I've tape recorded all your songs off the radio.
- Elton John: Oh, that's very sweet. Have a Grammy.
- Homer: Sir Elton, my noble friends and I would like to dub you a Knight of the... Grand Concourse.
- Chief Wiggum: Yeah, it's for all your charity work and, uh, for, ah, you know, teaching us um... to love again.
- Elton John: Really? I did that?
- Homer: How the hell should I know? Just get in this cage.
- Elton John: Oh, hazing the new guy, eh? Hmp. You know, when I was dubbed Sir Elton, the Queen paddled me silly.
- Homer: Hey, you with the scarf! Stop skywriting!
- Fantastic Dan: I have to deliver a message! It's the skywriter's code.
- Homer: I am so sick of that damn code!
- Fantastic Dan: Stop, you crazy fool, you'll kill us all!
- Homer: Correction. Kill us both.
- Apu: Oh me. My humble love note is turning into a Valentine's Day massacre.
- Elton John: You think you've got problems. I just chewed my way out of a dog carrier. Whew.
- Apu: [surprised] Elton John!
- Elton John: That's my name. Well, not really.
- Apu: Shall I "take you to the pilot?" Huh? [laughs] You see? Because that is your song.
- Elton John: I heard you.
- Apu: Yes, because "someone saved your life tonight!" [chuckles]
- Elton John: Cut it out!
- Apu: Well, well, "the bitch is back."
- Manjula: Oh, oh, I can't believe it. You closed the Kwik-E-Mart just for me.
- Apu: Well, you and the health inspector.
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