Bart vs. Itchy & Scratchy/Quotes
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
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657
"Bart vs. Itchy & Scratchy"
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- Nelson: You betrayed us, Bart. And worse, you betrayed your own wang.
- Bart: You know what? Yes, I laughed at a cartoon. Why? Because it was funny. So what if Itchy and Scratchy are girls? I laughed, and you can't take back the laugh.
- Jimbo: Girls aren't funny. They're hot, or moms.
- Nelson: Or both.
- Milhouse: Gentlemen, our way of life is under attack.
- Kearney: Hear, hear!
- Milhouse: Society is trying to erase boys. They give us drugs that make us do girly things, like pay attention.
- Nelson: They're putting drugs in our medication?
- Milhouse:We need to band together. Like a sorority, but for dudes. I give you the Boys Rights Association.
- Boys: BRA!
- Milhouse: B-R-A. Right now, we're just training BRAs.
- Dolph: Mm-hmm.
- Milhouse: But soon, we'll be the strongest, most supportive BRAs anyone has ever seen.
- Boys: [chanting] We are BRAs! We are BRAs!
- Lisa: Bossy Riot is so cool. We need fearless female activists to fight back against misogyny and man-spreading.
- Bart: Well, whoever they are, they are the coolest badasses this town has ever seen, whoever they are.
- Lisa: Bart, are you in Bossy Riot?
- Bart: No way.
- Lisa: Ah, good. Because if you were fighting for women's rights, it would destroy my entire vision of the universe.
- Bart: Actually, I totally am.
- Lisa: [shouts] You can't be an activist for women's rights. You don't know anything about the feminist cause.
- Bart: Sure I do. Chicks get a raw deal. I'm a little fuzzy on the deets, but take my word for it.
- Lisa: [groans] It's all about the deets. You're not a girl. You just want to spray-paint the world and watch it drip. You've never been called shrill just because you speak up. And-and girls' clothing has no pockets, while yours are lousy with pockets!
- Bart: This is good stuff, I got to write it down.
- Lisa: This is someone else's war, and you, y-you're just a mercenary.
- Bart: Mercenaries are cool, like Boba Fett.
- Homer: Oh, yeah, Boba Fett, great character.
- Bart: Boba Fett's badass. He wears a jetpack and a cape.
- Homer: Pick a lane, weirdo.
- Lisa: Why does every discussion about feminism turn into an argument about Star Wars?
- Homer: If Boba Fett's such a great bounty hunter, why is his armor all banged up?
- Bart: [Sighs] It's a look, like distressed denim.
- Lisa: You shouldn't be part of a protest if you don't care about the cause.
- Bart: Well, you care. Why don't you come with?
- Lisa: Maybe I will.
- Bart: Great. Bring black gloves and no ID. You've been Tasered before, right? It only hurts until you pass out.
- Lisa: I'm excited. I want to, I do, but... there's a part of me that's scared, and that part is my body and my head.
- Bart: It's okay, I get it. There's nothing wrong with being all talk. Us feminists need cheerleaders, too.
- [a pile of Krusty memorabilia is burning]
- Milhouse: I told you not to light the toys yet!
- Nelson: I didn't. They just burst into flames.
- Nelson: Spill it, Simpson. You were on the inside. What's the deal with girls?
- Bart: Well, check this out: they also burp.
- Nelson: No way! From where?
- Milhouse: Is that even allowed?
- Bart: Let's see, what else? They're always telling each other they're pretty. Their bathroom candy tastes really weird. But there's one thing that really crushed me. I almost don't want to say it out loud. They don't envy us.
- [the boys tear up]
