'Tis the 30th Season/Quotes
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"'Tis the 30th Season"
- Bart: Say, Lis, I couldn't help but notice you're holding a piece of paper.
- Lisa: Oh, this piece of paper? Why, it's just my Christmas list, is all.
- Bart: What a coincidence. I also have my Christmas list right here in my hand.
- Homer: Oh, you selfish little gangsters. There's always another shakedown, isn't there?
- Lisa: What do you know, Bart? There's only one present on my list.
- Bart: My word, that's reasonable. I, too, only found one present to be list-worthy.
- Marge: Oh, give me the lists.
- Homer: Our TV may not be smart, but it's street smart.
- Marge: Why do we have an antenna on an HDTV?
- Homer: I thought it looked cool.
- Gil Gunderson: You want a Cup O' Noodles to chase away the chill?
- Marge: How sweet.
- Gil: It's just water. I can't afford the real thing, but if you stare at the label while you drink it, you'd swear there was real chicken powder in there.
- Norwegian Santa: Hoy, hoy, hoy. I ride on a pig Don't forget to leave me porridge!
- Marge: Ugh, I've got it set on Norwegian.
- Lisa: Can we please get to our room? We just drove 2,000 miles in four hours.
- Jeanie: Of course. And thank you for reminding me why I never had kids.
- Jeanie: There's no bathtub. Just a combo shower and toilet. We call it a shoilet.
- Bart: This is cool. Cartoon characters no one's ever heard of. That's Mulberry Mutt, Tremendous Boar and Thelonious Skunk.
- Hug-A-Bull: Does somebody want a hug?
- Bart: No.
- Hug-A-Bull: Oh, I think you do.
- Bart: Really, I don't.
- Homer: Hug the bull, boy.
- Hug-A-Bull: That's right, kid. Legally, you have to initiate it.
- Marge: Oh, boy. You kids are up early.
- Lisa: Bart and I are going to engage in perhaps the most popular Florida tradition... complaining to the manager.
- Lisa: This place is nothing like it looked on the Internet.
- Jeanie: We can't compete with the big boys. Disney's already laying ground for a new Family Guy World.
- Marge: Aw. Are you really having a great time? Really? Because I sure as heck am not.
- Bart: No, I'm FaceTiming Milhouse 'cause it's more fun.
- Milhouse: Whassup?
- Bart: Milhouse, give me something. I'm trapped in The Hall of Vice Presidents.
- Milhouse: Well, I'm kind of the vice president of us.
- Lisa: Oh, my God. Moe serves Christmas dinner to the old and needy.
- Moe: Yeah, look, it's the one nice thing I do. Ha. Guess old Moe's got a heart. Also, if I turn the rummy away, they might wind up in church. That could turn their life around. That's bad for business.
- Bart: Dear Lord, we didn't get the gift we wanted, a GL50 9K Smart TV. The place we went was a dump. But isn't Christmas really about being with your family and your bartender?
- Lisa: We have traveled many miles to learn there's no place like Moe's.
- Homer: Amen.