Girl's in the Band/Quotes
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- Dewey Largo: Our recital's tomorrow, and we're gonna be ready. And if you play the way I know you're capable of, you'll never see me again.
- [theme from Patton by Jerry Goldsmith plays]
- Dewey Largo: You have hidden talent bubbling inside you, and this baton will pop it right out. Sherri, more fortissimo. Terri, more pianissimo. Milhouse, don't forget to tune your... What the heck are you playing?
- Milhouse: No one really knows.
- Dewey Largo: Well, then, wear it on your head. Here we go. I'm gonna do something I've never done as a teacher before: actually try.
- Dewey Largo: Oh, Salieri, patron saint of losers, runners-up and also-rans, please let this Garfunkel become a Simon, this Pepsi become a Coke, and this ugly duckling conduct Swan Lake.
- Victor Kleskow: Hi. Victor Kleskow. We're conductors, so don't shake hands. Just a friendly wave on the beat of four, three, two and done.
- Dewey Largo: I'm honored, maestro.
- Victor Kleskow: Let's cut to the chase. That was good... middle school good. Tonight, I witnessed a once-in-a-semester talent that I must add to my organization. Dewey...
- Dewey Largo: Uh-huh.
- Victor Kleskow: ...have to keep talking, or can I meet Lisa Simpson?