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Difference between revisions of "Dude, Where's My Ranch?/Quotes"

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
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{{TabQ}}
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{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Three Gays of the Condo|Old Yeller-Belly}}
  
 
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{{qf|[[Mr. Burns]]}} Exquisite, just exquisite. Makes me wish I hadn't released the hounds.
:'''[[Lenny]] and [[Carl]]''': F-L-A!
+
{{qf|[[Waylon Smithers]]}} Should I call them off, sir?
:'''[[Homer]]''': His name is Ned!
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{{qf|Mr. Burns}} No, no. It's their Christmas too.
:'''Lenny and Carl''': E-R-S!
+
----
:'''Homer''': It's a stupid name! It's worse than [[Frankenstein]] or {{W|Julius No|Dr. No-o-o-o-o}}!
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{{qf|[[Carl Carlson]]}} David Byrne?!
 
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{{qf|[[Moe Szyslak]]}} Singer, artist, composer, director, Talking Head...
:'''{{Ch|David Byrne}}''': You can't upset him even slightly. He just smiles and nods politely then goes home and worships nightly. His [[Leftorium]] is an emporium of WOE!
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{{qf|{{Ch|David Byrne}}}} And, I used to wrestle under the name "El Diablo."
 
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{{qf|[[Lenny Leonard]]}} I thought that was Philip Glass.
:'''Lenny and Carl''': F-L-A!
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{{qf|David Byrne}} Yeah, he wishes.
:'''Homer''': Don't yell at Ned!
+
----
:'''Lenny and Carl''': D-E-R!
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{{qf|[[Marge]]}} I am so sick of that song!
:'''Homer''': [[Alone Again, Natura-Diddily|His wife is dead]]! Everyone just hates that stupid jerk!
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{{qf|[[Homer]]}} Me too—I've come to hate my own creation. Now I know how [[God]] feels.
 
+
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:'''David Byrne''': Springfield rocks with Homer's joyous loathing! Filling clubs with angry valentinos! You don't have to move your feet! Just hate Flanders to the disco beat!
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{{qf|[[The Rich Texan]]}} Welcome to the [[Lazy I Ranch]], where we give you a week of rustic ranch living.
 
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{{qf|[[Comic Book Guy]]}} Do you have an internet connection?
:'''David and Homer''': He's a perky, peppy, nightmare neighbourino!
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{{qf|The Rich Texan}} Internet? ''[laughing]'' Son, the only internet connection we got is a dedicated DSL port in the business center. Or you can patch in through the smart-fridge in your cabin.
 
 
:'''Homer''': If you despise polite left-handers
 
:'''Ned''': Then I'd doubt you'd like that Flanders or his creepy little offspring Rod and Todd
 
 
 
 
 
:'''[[Todd Flanders|Todd]]''': That's us!
 
:'''[[Rod Flanders|Rod]]''': Hooray!
 
 
 
:'''Crowd''': F-L-A!
 
:'''[[Apu]]''': His name is Ned
 
:'''Crowd''': D-R-S!
 
:'''Apu''': He's so white bread!
 
:'''Church Chorus''': The smiling moustached geek who walks with God!
 
 
----
 
----
 
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{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} ''[reading]'' "On this battleground in 1881, fifty-six Indians lost their lives and four brave Americans lost their hats."
''(The Simpsons are singing'' Walking in a Winter Wonderland ''to Mr. Burns)''
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{{qf|Homer}} Those poor hats.
:'''[[Mr. Burns]]''': Exquisite, just exquisite! Makes me wish I hadn't released the hounds...
 
:''(Hounds chase away the Simpsons)''
 
:'''[[Smithers]]''': Should I call them off sir?
 
:'''[[Mr. Burns]]''': No, no. It's their Christmas too.
 
 
 
 
----
 
----
:'''Radio''': Hey hey hey! We're halfway through our same song 6 pack! Now let's hear [[wikipedia:William Shatner|William Shatner]]'s version of ''[[Everybody Hates Ned Flanders]]''!
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{{qf|Marge}} That was a delicious meal, Cookie. What do we do with our garbage?
:'''[[Marge]]''': ''Another'' cover? My god, let it die!
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{{qf|{{ap|Cookie|Dude, Where's My Ranch?}}}} Just leave it for Cleanie.
 
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{{qf|[[Cleanie]]}} My preciousss... Gollum....
 
----
 
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:'''Marge''': I'm so sick of that song!
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{{qf|Marge}} Shucks, Lisa. You sure have taken a shine to that cowpoke.
:'''[[Homer]]''': I know! I'm beginning to hate my own creation! Now I know how God feels!
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{{qf|Lisa}} Mom, why are you talking like that?
 
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{{qf|Marge}} Don't rightly know. I just soaked up the lingo like a biscuit in a bucket full of gopher gravy. I'll stop now.
 
----
 
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:'''Homer''': This dude ranch is going to be great! A whole week without hearing that stupid song!
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{{qf|Homer}} We did it! Finally, man has triumphed over a small, furry animal!
:'''[[wikipedia:David Byrne|David Byrne]]''': You won't think it's stupid once you hear the extended salsa mix!
 
 
 
 
----
 
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:'''[[Lisa]]''': On this battleground in 1886, 300 Native Americans lost their lives, and 4 brave Americans lost their hats.
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{{qf|[[Luke Stetson]]}} Dang it, Clara should be here by now.
:'''Homer''': ''(crying)'' Those poor hats!
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{{qf|Lisa}} I'm sure she's just running late. Or, she's not coming because she doesn't understand how special you are.
 
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{{qf|Luke Stetson}} That sure don't sound like my sister.
 +
{{qf|Lisa}} Sister?! You mean she's not your girlfriend?
 +
{{qf|Luke Stetson}} Hell no! They outlawed that in this state two years ago.
 
----
 
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:'''[[Bart]]''': I'll show you how we get on a horse where we come from! ''(stands up)'' Daddy, I need upsies!
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{{qf|[[Clara Stetson]]}} Hel-lo, handsome!
:'''Homer''': Coming sweetie!
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{{qf|[[Bart]]}} What's up, Cootie Breath?
:''(Homer lifts Bart, places him on the saddle, and kisses him on the forehead)''
 
:''(Bart blows a raspberry at the other kids)''
 
:'''Cowboy 1''': Well, he sure shut us up!
 
 
 
 
----
 
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'''Homer''': Look at those stupid city slickers, with there fur coats and pointy hats!
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{{qf|Homer}} Look at those stupid city slickers, with their fur coats and pointy hats.
 
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{{qf|Marge}} Homer, those are elk.
'''Marge''':Homer, those are ''elk''!
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{{qf|Homer}} I still hate them. Go back to Grosse Pointe!
 
 
'''Homer''': Well I still hate 'em. (Shouting at elk) '''Go back to Bosten!'''
 
 
 
(Elk shy away)
 
  
 
{{Season 14|Q}}
 
{{Season 14|Q}}

Latest revision as of 12:49, April 26, 2024


Season 14 Episode Quotes
308 "Three Gays of the Condo"
309
"Dude, Where's My Ranch?"
"Old Yeller-Belly" 310


Mr. Burns: Exquisite, just exquisite. Makes me wish I hadn't released the hounds.
Waylon Smithers: Should I call them off, sir?
Mr. Burns: No, no. It's their Christmas too.

Carl Carlson: David Byrne?!
Moe Szyslak: Singer, artist, composer, director, Talking Head...
David Byrne: And, I used to wrestle under the name "El Diablo."
Lenny Leonard: I thought that was Philip Glass.
David Byrne: Yeah, he wishes.

Marge: I am so sick of that song!
Homer: Me too—I've come to hate my own creation. Now I know how God feels.

The Rich Texan: Welcome to the Lazy I Ranch, where we give you a week of rustic ranch living.
Comic Book Guy: Do you have an internet connection?
The Rich Texan: Internet? [laughing] Son, the only internet connection we got is a dedicated DSL port in the business center. Or you can patch in through the smart-fridge in your cabin.

Lisa: [reading] "On this battleground in 1881, fifty-six Indians lost their lives and four brave Americans lost their hats."
Homer: Those poor hats.

Marge: That was a delicious meal, Cookie. What do we do with our garbage?
Cookie: Just leave it for Cleanie.
Cleanie: My preciousss... Gollum....

Marge: Shucks, Lisa. You sure have taken a shine to that cowpoke.
Lisa: Mom, why are you talking like that?
Marge: Don't rightly know. I just soaked up the lingo like a biscuit in a bucket full of gopher gravy. I'll stop now.

Homer: We did it! Finally, man has triumphed over a small, furry animal!

Luke Stetson: Dang it, Clara should be here by now.
Lisa: I'm sure she's just running late. Or, she's not coming because she doesn't understand how special you are.
Luke Stetson: That sure don't sound like my sister.
Lisa: Sister?! You mean she's not your girlfriend?
Luke Stetson: Hell no! They outlawed that in this state two years ago.

Clara Stetson: Hel-lo, handsome!
Bart: What's up, Cootie Breath?

Homer: Look at those stupid city slickers, with their fur coats and pointy hats.
Marge: Homer, those are elk.
Homer: I still hate them. Go back to Grosse Pointe!
Season 14 Quotes
Treehouse of Horror XIII How I Spent My Strummer Vacation Bart vs. Lisa vs. the Third Grade Large Marge Helter Shelter The Great Louse Detective Special Edna The Dad Who Knew Too Little The Strong Arms of the Ma Pray Anything Barting Over I'm Spelling as Fast as I Can A Star Is Born Again Mr. Spritz Goes to Washington C.E. D'oh 'Scuse Me While I Miss the Sky Three Gays of the Condo Dude, Where's My Ranch? Old Yeller-Belly Brake My Wife, Please The Bart of War Moe Baby Blues