Please Homer, Don't Hammer 'Em/Quotes
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Marge: Bart, here's a letter from your school.
Bart: A fire? I didn't start a fire in the teachers' lounge! I mean, what fire? I mean, a letter from school? Please elaborate.
Marge: Someone at your school has a life-threatining peanut allergy.
Bart: Cool! Who is it?
Marge: Ah, the letter doesn't say. But from now on, no peanut products are allowed on school property.(examines Bart's lunch box.) Hmm, let's see what you've got. Peanut butter and jelly sandwich, trail mix, starring peanuts. Good grief, more peanuts! (Marge holds up a copy of "Good Grief, More Peanuts" by Charles M. Schultz.)
(Marge hides as Kent Brockman inspects the gazebo she built.)
Kent Brockman: Mm-mmm! Simpson, you're a master craftsman.
Homer: Listen, what would you say if I told you a woman did most of the work?
Kent Brockman: I'd have this gazebo torn down and built into a coffin...for your manhood.
Homer: (shrieks)
Kent Brockman: Why did my hypothetical scenario scare you so?
Homer: Uh, like all manly men, I have a vivid imagination.
Kent Brockman: Well said! Let's take off our shirts and wrestle.
(While in a vat of peanut shrimp)
Bart: I was El Barto.
Principle Skinner: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
(Marge shows up at Krusty the Clown's doorstep to build him a hot tub.)
Krusty the Clown: A lady carpenter? I don't know. What if you get pregnant and I'm left with half a hot tub? And don't tell me you're infertile. I ain't fallin' for that again.
(Marge goes on a carpentry binge, and builds all sorts of things.)
Lisa: Wow, Mom, you made all this?
Bart: It's like you're the Jesus of carpentry!
Marge: Aww, what sweet blasphemy.
