The Longest Marge/Quotes
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- Carl Carlson: We have witnessed the most beautiful birth in the world—that of a football dynasty.
- Waylon Smithers, Jr.: Sales of Mr. Gentleman Brandy have reached zero and are only projected to go down.
- Mr. Burns: Impossible. Mr. Gentleman is sipped by every trustee of the Narragansett Whale Oil Concern.
- Smithers: Well, maybe the problem is the ad campaign. It's encouraging consuming as little of the liquor as possible.
- Mr. Burns: So we find the perfect celebrity to represent my brandy. But who?
- Warburton Parker: What about Harrison Ford?
- Mr. Burns: Too Hollywood.
- Warburton Parker: Dolly Parton?
- Mr. Burns: Too Dollywood.
- Warburton Parker: With that, we end the list of every celebrity who does not already have an existing liquor company.
- Reporter 1: Grayson, some have dubbed you "The Savior of Springfield Football". Isn't that a lot of pressure for a rookie?
- Grayson Mathers: I do me. If you don't like it, that's on you.
- Reporter 2: Grayson, some people are put off by your tell-it-like-it-is attitude. What do you say to them?
- Grayson: I'm an open book, but the media and haters and people who have never played the game, I carry myself with a certain confidence, and I don't apologize for your perception of statements I did not make, but stand by. Truth bomb. I sleep at night.
- Reporter 2: What did you just say?
- Grayson: I do me.
- Grayson: [commercial voiceover] I got no problem being me. Opinions exist. Think about it. Do you seriously doubt I know what I'm like? And when it comes to brandy, go ahead and sip. Me? I'll chug. I do me. You do you... my way.
- Grayson: I've always admired rich people. And now I'm getting paid by one.
- Grayson: Well, first game of the season tomorrow, so I'd better hit the Hay. That's the name of the club I'm going to. Then I'm gonna hit the Sack. That's where the after-party is.
- Lisa: Geez. He's kind of got that "Dad asleep in his car outside Moe's" look going.
- Homer: The icy stare of a born winner?
- Lisa: [sarcastically] Yes. That one.
- Mr. Burns: How dare they jeer that boy? He's like the arrogant, out-of-control son I never sent to boarding school and forgot about.
- Grayson: Your principal brought me here to tell you that school is important. But I got to keep it real. This is the first time I've ever been in a school, and I own three identical Ferraris! That's wassup!
- Marge: You listen here, young man. Just because you're embarrassed by your own behavior is no reason to lash out at me. I'm the one person in town who feels sorry for you, and even I've about had it. Now apologize.
- Grayson: I actually have six identical Ferraris. I want to own all the blue ones.
- Mr. Burns: I know what's wrong with you. Not enough Ferraris.
- Mr. Burns: A partnership betwixt a man and a woman to provide for the care of a young person. You supply the nurturing home life, and I'll be the emotionally-withholding yet somehow worshipped father figure. It's a deal.
- Grayson: Yo. Two parents and some kids? This is a straight-up family. For real.
- Homer: [realizing] I guess we are.
- Grayson: In a family, you don't do you. You do... others?
- Marge: And don't you forget it.
- Grayson: I need 9,000 calories a day or I'll die.
- Marge: So does my husband, silly.
- Duffman: It's time to party with Brandyman! Or Do-You-Man? I'm... Can we decide on a catchphrase? Catchphrase TBD!
- Grayson: [on stage] You all know I've had some personal struggles lately. I was losing the football game of emotions. But there's one person who got me through it.
- Mr. Burns: [to Marge] He's talking about you. You're the nurturer.
- Marge: [to Burns] But you're his inspiration. It's got to be you.
- Grayson: [on stage] And that person is... my fiancée Kaitlyn! The three days I've known her have seemed like a lifetime. An Instagram model, a YouTube reactor and the creator of Yoga Yogurt, the faith-based yogurt you eat while yoga-ing. Kaitlyn is so much more than a business manager to me. Though she's that, too! As of this morning! Hope you can handle total financial control, baby!
- Kaitlyn: Good news, babe! You're fighting Floyd Mayweather on a Valentine's Day pay-per-view!
