Gone Abie Gone/Quotes
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- Homer: A poker site is now safer than an American bank. Has our nation-- built on people suing because their onion rings were too hot-- come to this?
- Marge: Homie, do you know what yesterday was?
- Homer: Ha! Of course I do! Happy Anni...birth...tine's...shark week?
- Homer: Hey, Lisa, check out your college fund!
- Lisa: You put my college fund on a poker site?!
- Homer: It's a classy operation. See? The little dealer's wearing a bow tie-- cute!
- Lisa: Well...at least I have a college fund!
- Homer: On a poker site!
- Lisa: More importantly, it's a college fund.
- Homer: On a poker site!
- Homer: My dad was an aspiring songwriter like Charles Manson? I never knew that.
- Marge: Hello? Rita Lafleur? Did you know a man named Abe Simpson?
- Rita LaFleur: Know him? I'm married to him.
- Marge: Homer, she's married to your dad!
- Homer: Whoo-hoo! I get two Christmases!
- Lisa: He didn't fold? But that's insane unless he has... Four threes?! Oh, no! No-no-no-no-no, no! I've lost, I've lost everything.
- Lisa: Well, back to square one is a major victory in this house, but why did you help me? Come on! Tell me!
- Bart: Because I actually like you and felt sorry for you.
- Lisa: What?! You did?
- Bart: Forget I said anything!
- Lisa: Sure. I have the ending for my memoir!
