Difference between revisions of "Steal This Episode/Quotes"

Revision as of 16:21, June 17, 2020

Marge: Ooh, date night! I'll go change my bra.

Homer: If I wanted to pay for commercials I can't skip, I'd sign up for Hulu Plus!

Homer: Bless you, boy. That was the greatest thing I've seen on a computer that I can talk about with you in the room. How did you know how to do that?

Bart: I'm under 30.

Carl: Homer, go to the theater and see the movie.

Homer: Theaters? All I need to see this movie is a laptop and a Web site based in a country that's really just an offshore oil platform.

Carl: All we want is brand-new, big budget entertainment in our homes for nothin'.

Marge: (to Homer) This is fun! And it was so nice of the movie company to let you show their film.

Marge: When I watched that pirated movie, I was stealing with my eyes.

FBI Soldier: I wanted to catch serial killers.

Deputy Director Gratman: (mocking his soldier in whiny voice) I wanted to catch serial killers.

Chief Wiggum: I'm not wearing an undershirt and my badge is poking into my skin.

Deputy Director Gratman: We got our man, thanks to a tip from a heroic American snitch.

Homer: (Angry at Superintendent Chalmers) Superintendent Chalmers, you never forgave me for that time we wore the same Hawaiian shirt to that luau!

Deputy Director Gratman: From now on, the only place you'll be watching movies without having to buy a ticket is jail.

Lisa:(about Santa's Little Helper eating Homer's dinner) It's almost like having Dad here. Only with less growling when I go near his food.

Bart: I just want to know who dropped the dime on Dad. Lousy rat.

Marge: (asking Swedish ambassador) Your country doesn't think illegally downloading movies is wrong?

Lisa: The people of Sweden believe all movies should be shared freely.

Marge: How is that not stealing?

Swedish ambassador: Bah, your Hollywood studios are the real thieves, claiming all their hit movies have lost money. I spit on their bookkeeping.

Homer: Yeah, and why don't they make a sequel to Taken where The Hangover guys get taken and the only ones that could rescue them is Fast and Furious.

Bart: Aw, man, I would love to pirate that.

Deputy Director Gratman: There's only one surefire way to get fugitives out of a foreign building-- blasting death metal.

Swedish ambassador: Swedes love death metal. It's remind us of death.

Deputy Director Gratman: Damn those Peace Prize-giving fish-smoker.

Judd Apatow: Homer Simpson is an enemy of art. Art created by writers, directors, and the guy who uses a computer to erase or enhance nipples.

Bart: So what do you think, Lise? Who are the good guys here? The media companies or the Internet freedom guys?

Lisa: Well, both groups claim their intentions are noble, but at the end of the day, they're both trying to steal as much money as they can.

Bart:So everyone's a pirate?

Lisa:Yes, and the worst one of all is...(Cut off with footage of the 2011 Nascar race)

Homer: What are you guys in for?

Dan: Bank robbery.

Kevin: Drug trafficking. What about you?

Homer: Movie piracy.

(everyone else gasps)

Dan: People in show business work hard to make those movies.

Kevin: My media stocks underperformed because of people like YOU!

Hank: My brother lost his job as a grip-holder. He had to sell his jet ski. A grip without a jet ski ain't no GRIP AT ALL!

(breaks himself and his colleagues free while Dan strangles Homer with a chain)

Kevin: Oh, you're about to find out what we do to copyright infringers!

(All the others attack on Homer until the bus falls off the ledge and rolls to bottom of a hill and onto train tracks)