Difference between revisions of "The Changing of the Guardian/Quotes"

Latest revision as of 08:51, May 16, 2022

Mav: Yo, I'm Mav.

Bart: Wow, a man's stomach can be flat?

Mav: It's one of the, like, awesome side effects of being a pro surfer.

Bart: Wow.

Lisa: Someone's smitten.

Portia: Whoa, way to shralp the crispies, babe.

Mav: My wife, Portia.

Lisa: Another surfer?

Portia: Environmental lawyer. And in my free time, I prosecute record companies who withhold royalties from elderly blues musicians.

Marge: My God. They want to steal our kids.

Homer: No one steals my kids, except me, from that theme park jail that I never told you about, except I guess I just did.

Marge: We're all caught up now. Let's go.

Marge: Look, before anyone says anything else, how could you possibly think you could get our kids?

Portia: It happens more than you know, Marge. I'm a lawyer; he's a surfer. That combination's pretty unstoppable.

Bart: Well, I'm afraid that we don't want to be with anyone but Mom and whoever she chooses to be with.

Lisa: Portia, you're the woman I dream of becoming, but Mom is my mom.

Portia: Fine, but you're leaving a gap in our lives that can only be filled by foreign travel, sleeping late and gourmet food.

Lenny Leonard: Oh, my God, the twister got Carl, my best friend in the world. I can barely remember what he looks like.

Homer: He was a black guy, but his voice sounded like a white guy.

Carl Carlson: Hey, excuse me for wanting to fit in.

Marge: Homie, if we did both die, we've never named guardians. The kids could end up wards of the state.

Homer: Connecticut?

Marge: No, our state.

Homer: Okay, you're right. It's hard to imagine anyone else bringing up our kids, but I think the choice is obvious: my dad.

Grampa: Oh, you'd let me have another chance after the way I screwed things up with you?

Homer: Eh, good point. We'll find somebody else.