Difference between revisions of "Homer and Lisa Exchange Cross Words/Quotes"

Revision as of 11:22, February 22, 2021

Lisa: Guess what, mom? I'm a cruciverbalist!

Marge: Oh, Lisa, another religion? You know, you'll just drop the whole thing at college when you get a Jewish boyfriend.

Homer: Marge, I'm going to a hardcore gay club and won't be home until three in the morning!

Marge: Have fun!

Lisa: Dad, I know this is crazy, but did you plant a message to me in the New York Times crossword puzzle?

Homer: Well, I had a little help from this guy.

Will Shortz and Merl Reagle appear]

Lisa: (gasps) New York Times crossword editor Will Shortz and master puzzle constructor Merl Reagle!

Merl Reagle: I actually wrote that crossword.

Will Shortz: And I edited it. Now get back to crosswording!

Merl Reagle: (dejected) Yes, sir.

Superintendent Chalmers: I'm a bit of a crossword head myself. They help me relax after a day of having to deal with... Skinner!

Principal Skinner: You called?

Superintendent Chalmers: Made reference.

Principal Skinner: My mistake.

[After Lisa loses the crossword puzzle tournament]

Lisa: Oh, I blew it again.

Homer: She blew it again! Woo-Hoo!

[The bartender approaches Homer with a large tray of money]

Bartender: (disdainfully) Here's your money, soaked in your daughter's tears.

Homer: You know for a bartender-bookie, you're awfully judgmental.

Apu: Whoo, what is a four-letter word for "hero"?

Moe: "Hero".

Apu: Yes, but I meant "Lisa".

Crowd: Lisa! Lisa!