Difference between revisions of "Labor Pains/Quotes"

Revision as of 13:43, February 22, 2014

Lisa: Did you know some historians think American football is based on an ancient Aztec game?

Bart: It's not American football, it's just football.

Lisa: Bart, you're not annoyed that Milhouse asked me to go to the American football game instead of you?ḕ

Bart: Mom, Lisa's ruining football.

Lisa: American football.

Homer: Oh, you like movies? This reminds me of that scene in Alien.

Gretchen: What?

Homer: The scene where she escapes with the cat at the end.

Gretchen: Aw, well, that's sweet.

Homer: College is expensive but it's worth it.

Milhouse: (looking at giant screen at the football stadium) These are great seats. You can hear the players swear from up here.

Football Player: (off screen in distance) I'll kick your ass, Milhouse.

Milhouse: I dating a cheerleader.

Lisa: No, you're not!

Football player: Burned again, Milhouse!

Homer: Wow, so now there's two things named after me... a baby, and a law banning air horns after 3:00 a.m.

Marge: You have a baby together?

Homer: Oh, it's cool. We did it in an elevator.

Marge: I'm a Schwarzenegger wife.

Homer: But you're also the housekeeper, so it's all good.

Marge: It's not good. None of it's good.

Homer: I haven't had a drink for a week.

Marge: That is pretty good.

Grandpa: If this is heaven, why don't my shoes match?

Rich Texan: Okay, I give up. I'm gonna do what we secretly did at the Alamo-- surrender.

Kirk: While you're at it, how about a little boost for peanut vendors?

Rich Texan: What do you think I'm taking their raise out of?