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Difference between revisions of "Dude, Where's My Ranch?/Quotes"

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
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{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Three Gays of the Condo|Old Yeller-Belly}}
 
{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Three Gays of the Condo|Old Yeller-Belly}}
  
{{qf|[[Lenny]] and [[Carl]]}} F-L-A!
+
{{qf|[[Mr. Burns]]}} Exquisite, just exquisite. Makes me wish I hadn't released the hounds.
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} His name is Ned!
+
{{qf|[[Waylon Smithers]]}} Should I call them off, sir?
{{qf|Lenny and Carl}} E-R-S!
+
{{qf|Mr. Burns}} No, no. It's their Christmas too.
{{qf|Homer}} It's a stupid name! It's worse than Frankenstein or {{W|Julius No|Dr. No-o-o-o-o}}!
+
----
{{qf|{{Ch|David Byrne}}}} You can't upset him even slightly. He just smiles and nods politely then goes home and worships nightly. His [[Leftorium]] is an emporium of WOE!
+
{{qf|[[Carl Carlson]]}} David Byrne?!
{{qf|Lenny and Carl}} F-L-A!
+
{{qf|[[Moe Szyslak]]}} Singer, artist, composer, director, Talking Head...
{{qf|Homer}} Don't yell at Ned!
+
{{qf|{{Ch|David Byrne}}}} And, I used to wrestle under the name "El Diablo."
{{qf|Lenny and Carl}} D-E-R!
+
{{qf|[[Lenny Leonard]]}} I thought that was Philip Glass.
{{qf|Homer}} [[Alone Again, Natura-Diddily|His wife is dead]]! Everyone just hates that stupid jerk!
+
{{qf|David Byrne}} Yeah, he wishes.
{{qf|[[David Byrne]]}} Springfield rocks with Homer's joyous loathing! Filling clubs with angry valentinos! You don't have to move your feet! Just hate Flanders to the disco beat!
+
----
{{qf|David and Homer}} He's a perky, peppy, nightmare neighbourino!
+
{{qf|[[Marge]]}} I am so sick of that song!
{{qf|Homer}} If you despise polite left-handers
+
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} Me too—I've come to hate my own creation. Now I know how [[God]] feels.
{{qf|Ned}} Then I'd doubt you'd like that Flanders or his creepy little offspring Rod and Todd
 
:''[Rod and Todd are listening to the song on the radio.]''
 
{{qf|[[Todd]]}} That's us!
 
{{qf|[[Rod]]}} Hooray!
 
{{qf|Crowd}} F-L-A!
 
{{qf|[[Apu]]}} His name is Ned
 
{{qf|Crowd}} D-R-S!
 
{{qf|Apu}} He's so white bread!
 
{{qf|Church Chorus}} The smiling mustached geek who walks with God!
 
 
----
 
----
:''[The Simpsons are singing "Walking in a Winter Wonderland"' to Mr. Burns.]''
+
{{qf|[[The Rich Texan]]}} Welcome to the [[Lazy I Ranch]], where we give you a week of rustic ranch living.
{{qf|[[Mr. Burns]]}} Exquisite, just exquisite! Makes me wish I hadn't released the hounds...
+
{{qf|[[Comic Book Guy]]}} Do you have an internet connection?
:''[Hounds chase away the Simpsons.]''
+
{{qf|The Rich Texan}} Internet? ''[laughing]'' Son, the only internet connection we got is a dedicated DSL port in the business center. Or you can patch in through the smart-fridge in your cabin.
{{qf|[[Smithers]]}} Should I call them off sir?
 
{{qf|Mr. Burns}} No, no. It's their Christmas too.
 
 
----
 
----
{{qf|Radio}} Hey hey hey! We're halfway through our same song 6 pack! Now let's hear {{w|William Shatner}}'s version of ''[[Everybody Hates Ned Flanders]]''!
+
{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} ''[reading]'' "On this battleground in 1881, fifty-six Indians lost their lives and four brave Americans lost their hats."
{{qf|[[Marge]]}} ''Another'' cover? My god, let it die!
+
{{qf|Homer}} Those poor hats.
 
----
 
----
{{qf|Marge}} I'm so sick of that song!
+
{{qf|Marge}} That was a delicious meal, Cookie. What do we do with our garbage?
{{qf|Homer}} I know! I'm beginning to hate my own creation! Now I know how God feels.
+
{{qf|{{ap|Cookie|Dude, Where's My Ranch?}}}} Just leave it for Cleanie.
 +
{{qf|[[Cleanie]]}} My preciousss... Gollum....
 
----
 
----
{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} ''[looking at brochure]'' Or we could go to {{w|Walter Gropius}}'s ''{{w|Bauhaus}} Village''.
+
{{qf|Marge}} Shucks, Lisa. You sure have taken a shine to that cowpoke.
{{qf|Homer}} And fight the crowds? Forget it.
+
{{qf|Lisa}} Mom, why are you talking like that?
 +
{{qf|Marge}} Don't rightly know. I just soaked up the lingo like a biscuit in a bucket full of gopher gravy. I'll stop now.
 
----
 
----
{{qf|Homer}} This dude ranch is going to be great! A whole week without hearing that stupid song!
+
{{qf|Homer}} We did it! Finally, man has triumphed over a small, furry animal!
{{qf|David Byrne}} You won't think it's stupid once you hear the extended salsa mix! ''[sings]''
 
 
----
 
----
{{qf|Lisa}} On this battleground in 1886, 300 Native Americans lost their lives, and 4 brave Americans lost their hats.
+
{{qf|[[Luke Stetson]]}} Dang it, Clara should be here by now.
{{qf|Homer}} ''[crying]'' Those poor hats!
+
{{qf|Lisa}} I'm sure she's just running late. Or, she's not coming because she doesn't understand how special you are.
 +
{{qf|Luke Stetson}} That sure don't sound like my sister.
 +
{{qf|Lisa}} Sister?! You mean she's not your girlfriend?
 +
{{qf|Luke Stetson}} Hell no! They outlawed that in this state two years ago.
 
----
 
----
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} I'll show you how we get on a horse where we come from! ''[stands up]'' Daddy, I need upsies!
+
{{qf|[[Clara Stetson]]}} Hel-lo, handsome!
{{qf|Homer}} Coming sweetie!
+
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} What's up, Cootie Breath?
:''[Homer lifts Bart, places him on the saddle, and kisses him on the forehead.]''
 
:''[Bart blows a raspberry at the other kids.]''
 
{{qf|Cowboy 1}} Well, he sure shut us up!
 
 
----
 
----
{{qf|Homer}} Look at those stupid city slickers, with there fur coats and pointy hats!
+
{{qf|Homer}} Look at those stupid city slickers, with their fur coats and pointy hats.
{{qf|Marge}} Homer, those are ''elk''!
+
{{qf|Marge}} Homer, those are elk.
{{qf|Homer}} Well I still hate 'em. ''[shouting at elk]'' Go back to [[Pittsburgh]]!
+
{{qf|Homer}} I still hate them. Go back to Grosse Pointe!
:''[Elk shy away.]''
 
  
 
{{Season 14|Q}}
 
{{Season 14|Q}}

Latest revision as of 11:49, April 26, 2024


Season 14 Episode Quotes
308 "Three Gays of the Condo"
309
"Dude, Where's My Ranch?"
"Old Yeller-Belly" 310


Mr. Burns: Exquisite, just exquisite. Makes me wish I hadn't released the hounds.
Waylon Smithers: Should I call them off, sir?
Mr. Burns: No, no. It's their Christmas too.

Carl Carlson: David Byrne?!
Moe Szyslak: Singer, artist, composer, director, Talking Head...
David Byrne: And, I used to wrestle under the name "El Diablo."
Lenny Leonard: I thought that was Philip Glass.
David Byrne: Yeah, he wishes.

Marge: I am so sick of that song!
Homer: Me too—I've come to hate my own creation. Now I know how God feels.

The Rich Texan: Welcome to the Lazy I Ranch, where we give you a week of rustic ranch living.
Comic Book Guy: Do you have an internet connection?
The Rich Texan: Internet? [laughing] Son, the only internet connection we got is a dedicated DSL port in the business center. Or you can patch in through the smart-fridge in your cabin.

Lisa: [reading] "On this battleground in 1881, fifty-six Indians lost their lives and four brave Americans lost their hats."
Homer: Those poor hats.

Marge: That was a delicious meal, Cookie. What do we do with our garbage?
Cookie: Just leave it for Cleanie.
Cleanie: My preciousss... Gollum....

Marge: Shucks, Lisa. You sure have taken a shine to that cowpoke.
Lisa: Mom, why are you talking like that?
Marge: Don't rightly know. I just soaked up the lingo like a biscuit in a bucket full of gopher gravy. I'll stop now.

Homer: We did it! Finally, man has triumphed over a small, furry animal!

Luke Stetson: Dang it, Clara should be here by now.
Lisa: I'm sure she's just running late. Or, she's not coming because she doesn't understand how special you are.
Luke Stetson: That sure don't sound like my sister.
Lisa: Sister?! You mean she's not your girlfriend?
Luke Stetson: Hell no! They outlawed that in this state two years ago.

Clara Stetson: Hel-lo, handsome!
Bart: What's up, Cootie Breath?

Homer: Look at those stupid city slickers, with their fur coats and pointy hats.
Marge: Homer, those are elk.
Homer: I still hate them. Go back to Grosse Pointe!
Season 14 Quotes
Treehouse of Horror XIII How I Spent My Strummer Vacation Bart vs. Lisa vs. the Third Grade Large Marge Helter Shelter The Great Louse Detective Special Edna The Dad Who Knew Too Little The Strong Arms of the Ma Pray Anything Barting Over I'm Spelling as Fast as I Can A Star Is Born Again Mr. Spritz Goes to Washington C.E. D'oh 'Scuse Me While I Miss the Sky Three Gays of the Condo Dude, Where's My Ranch? Old Yeller-Belly Brake My Wife, Please The Bart of War Moe Baby Blues