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Homer and Ned's Hail Mary Pass/Quotes

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Season 16 Episode Quotes
342 "Mommie Beerest"
343
"Homer and Ned's Hail Mary Pass"
"Pranksta Rap" 344


Homer: (singing, after beating Bart in the game) "I'm number one! I beat my son! Victory is mine! So kiss my behind!" (scutting and grunting at Bart) "In your face!" (starts dancing)

Tom Brady: "Everyone sucks but me."

Burns: What would you use instead of Nuclear power?
Marge: Solar.
Lenny: Hydroelectric.
Moe: A mix of conservation and wind.
Burns: Who told you about those?
Carl:' The talking tree in a commercial.

Prof. Frink: (after seeing Ned's film, The Passion of Cain and Abel) You have taught me a world of faith beyond the world of science. I would pay to see it again and again and again and again but NOT SIX TIMES!!!

Homer: I wish I were a screensaver.

Comic Book Guy: My name is Jeff Albertson, but everyone calls me "Comic Book Guy".

Michelle Kwan: Beware the wrath of Kwan!

Milhouse: Look! It's my hero, Michelle Kwan!
Michelle Kwan: You remind me of a young Dorothy Hamill.
Milhouse: I didn't know you could talk!

Crazy Cat Lady: (calm) Thanks to this medication I enjoy brief moments of lucidity.
Marge: Those are Reese's Pieces.
Crazy Cat Lady: (goes crazy)

Frank: Oh, I paid a thousand dollars for this seat and I can't even see the game!
Marge: Just poke through!
(Frank then pokes his head through Marge's hair)

Announcer: The crowd gets ready for the half-time show, sponsored by the new Ford pickups, Citibank, and Moe's Tavern'.
(cut to private skybox, where Moe and the two executives are watching the game)
Executive 1: How could you afford this?
Moe: I hustled a lot of pool. Speaking of which, you wanna play? I gotta warn ya though, I ain't that good.
Executive 1: Alright. (under his breath) Sucker.
(Moe swings his cue stick full force against the executive's back, possibly killing him)
Moe: Who's the sucker now!? Huh?!!

Mother: You try to raise your kids as humanists but these show-biz types keep shoving religion down our throat.
Kid: Mommy, why wasn't I baptized?
Mother: You see? YOU SEE??

Yao Ming: "Wo zhen de bu dong ni men de yu yan." ("I really don't understand your language" in Mandarin)
Lisa: But I heard you have an excellent knowledge of English.
Yao Ming: "Shut up kid, I've got a good thing going on!"

(the athletes are carrying an ark in Homer's show)
Tom: You think Homer's mad at me? I waved at him in the parking lot and his stared right through me.
Yao: I left the People's Republic for this?
Warren: Yo, Michelle, ya got a boyfriend?
Michelle: Not in here I don't.

LeBron: Omelettes? For dinner? This is the best day of my life!
Lisa: Didn't you just sign a $100 million dollar contract?
LeBron: Oh yeah. That was a good day too.
Season 16 Quotes
Treehouse of Horror XV All's Fair in Oven War Sleeping with the Enemy She Used to Be My Girl Fat Man and Little Boy Midnight Rx Mommie Beerest Homer and Ned's Hail Mary Pass Pranksta Rap There's Something About Marrying On a Clear Day I Can't See My Sister Goo Goo Gai Pan Mobile Homer The Seven-Beer Snitch Future-Drama Don't Fear the Roofer The Heartbroke Kid A Star Is Torn Thank God It's Doomsday Home Away from Homer The Father, the Son and the Holy Guest Star