Pranksta Rap/Quotes
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- Bart: Alcatraaaz is wide spread! I'm talkin' da junk!
- Lisa: Just what we need. Another lame suburban kid who loves rap.
- Bart: So? You like the blues.
- Lisa: Yes, but the blues are unpopular.
- Bart: Man, are you illin'.
- Lisa: Rappers stopped saying "illin'" twelve years ago.
- Bart: I'm keepin' it real.
- Lisa: They stopped saying "keepin' it real" three years ago.
- Bart: Mom, Lisa's dissin' me!
- Marge: "Dissin'?" Do rappers still say that?
- 50 Cent: Yo B, I heard you throw down on stage. Wanna join my world tour?
- Bart: Sorry, Fiddy. I have school tomorrow.
- 50 Cent: You're right—the more you know, the further you'll go. And that's one to grow on. [to his assistant] Does that count as community service?
- Assistant: No.
- 50 Cent: All right. Take me to the park. We'll pick up some dog poo.
- Bart: Well, time to face my punishment like a man... Or, lie my way out of it like a kid.
- Homer: A flying rock! Call a geologist!
- Marge: [reading] "We have kidnapped your son. Follow instructions and Bart will not be harmed."
- Homer: "Follow instructions?" He's doomed! [falls to his knees and starts sobbing] This'll be the worst Thanksgiving dinner ever.
- Marge: Thanksgiving's not for months.
- Homer: The bad news keeps on coming.
- Kent Brockman: Tragedy climbed a ladder last night as ten-year-old Bart Simpson was snatched from his bed, his chocolate milk dreams cut short by kidnapping fiends. Mrs. Simpson, is the pain so unbearable you wish your son had never been born?
- Marge: Ooh, what a horrible thing to say to a mother.
- Brockman: Perhaps reading this message aloud will comfort you.
- Marge: [through tears] It's "Win a Hawaiian Getaway Week" on Channel Six. [sobs]
- Brockman: So, mail in those pineapple stickers today! Aloha means "one entry per person."
- Milhouse: Bart! Are the kidnappers after you?
- Bart: Well... some kidnappers might be after me. It's a big world. But in this case, I faked the whole thing.
- Milhouse: Why? Are you mad at me?
- Bart: No, it's not about you.
- Milhouse: [sadly] It's never about me.
- Bart: [disguising his voice] This is the kidnapper. Do what I say and Bart won't get hurt.
- Homer: Oh yeah? Send a finger wrapped in today's paper to prove you have him.
- Marge: Homer!
- Homer: I know what I'm doing. [into phone] You can use any section of the paper. Except Metro. It's a big snooze.
- Chief Wiggum: All right, boys. Let's get this tape back to the lab for analysis.
- Lou: We have a lab?
- Wiggum: Yeah, it's that room we keep the Christmas decorations in.
- Apu: Oh, Chintzy-Pop is the worst legal popcorn. Many of the kernels are baby teeth.
- Homer: Oh son!... Taking your tombstone back to the store will be the happiest thing I've ever done.
- Eddie: Chief, we're sorry we didn't have faith in you.
- Lou: And I'm sorry I wrote those letters to the editor calling for your ouster.
- Wiggum: You're "Worried In West Springfield?"
- Lou: Not any more, Chief. Not any more.
- Bart: Milhouse, if you tell anyone, I'll tell the world you wet your pants watching Harry Potter.
- Milhouse: I wasn't scared, I was just peeing.
- Wiggum: Boys, even though I've been made Police Commissioner, don't think I've forgotten you. Lou, you're promoted to chief of police.
- Lou: Sweet.
- Wiggum: And Eddie, you're promoted to Lou.
- Eddie: Nice. And uh, who's gonna be Eddie?
- Wiggum: We don't need an Eddie.
- Principal Skinner: A chance to bring down Bart Simpson? Our school's second most-wanted criminal after the mysterious El Barto? Hmm... sign me up!
- Wiggum: All right, people, we got a situation here. Your daughter's gonna blow our whole deal sky high.
- Homer: You leave Maggie to me
- Wiggum: No, Lisa!
- Homer: Not her! She'll hunt us down relentlessly—like a bloodhound mixed with a student loan officer!
- Skinner: Bingo! Thank you, Mr. Alcatraaaz.
- Alcatraaaz: Ain't nothin'.
- Skinner: Ah, ah, ah. "It is nothing."
- Alcatraaaz: It's idiomatic, biatch.
- Skinner: Do you think there's a place in the hip-hop world for a forty-something elementary school administrator?
- Alcatraaaz: Hell yes.
- Skinner: Hmm.
- Alcatraaaz: But I'm already payin' a guy for that.
- Superintendent Chalmers: Skinner! I order you to step off, dog. [to Skinner] I think they're making fun of me, but my wife is very sick.
