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Mommie Beerest/Quotes
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
- Bart: Thinner... thinner... thinner... thinner... too thin. Better luck next time, "Tommy - Virginia Beach."
- Homer: I've never been so embarrassed. And the worst part is, this is brunch so you've ruined two meals! I'll see you all at lupper!
- Moe: When we were kids, our dads used to get drunk and make us fight each other.
- Frankie: My Pop would buy me a malted for every tooth of Moe's I knocked out.
- Moe: That time you blinded me, he gave you a bike. That sure was a good soundin' bike...
- Health inspector: Mr. Szyslak, your tavern is rife with Health Code violations.
- Moe: You gotta be kiddin' me. Like what?
- Health inspector: For starters, the body of my predecessor is still on the floor.
- Moe: Oh yeah. Uh well, ya see, uh trash day ain't 'til Wednesday...
- Moe: Thanks, Homer. No one's ever trusted me before—except for that one guy who shouldn't have.
- Homer: That was me.
- Moe: Oh yeah.
- Marge: Homer, those kookoo-birds at the bank goofed up and sent us a mortgage statement.
- Homer: Marge! How dare you open a letter addressed to both of us?
- Homer: Marge, you can't go with me to Moe's. I mean, how would you like it if I came with you to your mother's?
- Marge: I would like it. You never come to my mother's.
- Homer: That's because I hate her.
- Moe: Whoa, whoa, whoa, now wait just a minute. One thing Moe Szyslak has never had is a partner. Nor a wife, a friend, a chum, a casual acquaintance, a pen pal, a parrot, a meaningful conversation, a brief hug or eye contact.
- Homer: But I don't wanna take care of the kids... Um... how many cigars are they allowed to have? Bart sleeps in the microwave, right?
- Marge: Quit playing dumb.
- Homer: How many magic beans should I sell the baby for? Three? Duh, der, duh. That's me, jerk-ass Homer. Duh, der, doy.
- Moe: Marge, my customers don't like themselves. Therefore, they seek the darkness.
- Marge: Well... as fabulous as your regulars are, a remodel might bring in a higher class of lush.
- Moe: Look, I like Moe's the way it is, all right? And I ain't changin' it for any dame, skirt, Susie-Q, or face-macer.
- Judge Snyder: Pint of ale, my dear?
- Lindsey Naegle: Well thank you, your honor. You know, you're kind of sexy.
- Snyder: That's a deliberate mis-statement of fact. But I'll allow it.
- Kent Brockman: So, Mr. Boswell. What do you think of the new Moe's?
- Mr. Boswell: Marge Simpson and Moe Szyslak, here's a mash note to your bangers: I wish you could live in me forever!
- Moe: Thanks, Freakazoid.
- Marge: I know, I used to think of Moe as a scabby, dead-eyed hunchback. But now that I've gotten to know him, we kind of bonded.
- Homer: Bonded?! How many times?
- Marge: Homer, Moe and I are just work friends. You and I are... marriage friends.
- Chief Wiggum: Simpson, you were going a hundred in a twenty-five zone. And you're not gonna flirt your way outta this one.
- Homer: But I have to get to the airport to save my marriage!
- Chief Wiggum: Really? Well, why didn't you say so? Let's roll!
- Lou: You didn't work this hard to save my marriage.
- Chief Wiggum: Wake up, Lou. She was way outta your league.
- Marge: Homer, I made a vow on our wedding day, to stay by you—for better or worse. And besides... I love you. You're my Homie-womie-romie-domie...
- Homer: And you're my Margie-wargie-bargie-fargie-gargie-margie-targie-glargie.
- Moe: I may have dodged a bullet here.
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