Treehouse of Horror Presents: The Revengening/Quotes
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- Bart: I can't believe Quimby banned Halloween. No candy, no pranks, 8:00 curfew. And the only party in town is this? Marge, I'm going to Moe's.
- Homer: Nuh-uh-uh. Remember, Moe's can't serve alcohol tonight. And that's fine. Halloween has been too fun for too long. Right, liver?
- Marge: You know, we are invited to the Van Houtens' nonalcoholic boo-ze cruise. Huh?
- Homer: Ooh, that doesn't sound crap-tastic at all.
- Professor Frink: Greetings, fellow revelers.
- Homer: Nice costume. Beaker from The Muppets, right?
- Professor Frink: Uh, no, there was an accident at the lab.
- Homer: Come on, drunk-os. Get in the car.
- Professor Frink: No, no, we are far too inglayvinated to drive.
- Homer: We just killed a guy. We have to call the cops.
- Gary Chalmers: No cops! We take this to our graves.
- Homer: I believe it was Kenny Loggins who once said, "Karma sharpens its blades on the bones of our sins."
- Chalmers: Shut up and heave corpse!
- Lisa: Dad, can we pick you up a costume?
- Homer: I'm afraid no costume can disguise my shame.
- Marge: Sounds good!
- Bart: Later, dude.
- Lisa: Love you, Dad!
- Professor Frink: We never should've dumped that body. Hoyvik! Ever since that night, I-- hoyvik-- developed a tic. Whenever I'm stressed-- hoyvik-- I break out in a series of slightly annoying--
- Dewey Largo: We get it!
- Dewey Largo: My life has fallen apart, too. Geoffrey broke up with me. He took our Lhasa apsos. And one dark, lonely night, I found myself... buying an Xbox!
- Gustavo Dudamel: Your moves are wack-issimo.
- Marge: Uh, does anyone here know how to boat a ship?
- Marge: He's dead! We have to call the cops!
- Disco Stu: No cops! We take this to our graves.
- Comic Book Guy: I can't go to jail! You know what they do in that exercise yard? Exercise!
- Rainier Wolfcastle: All of my friends are dead! Tina Ballerina, Blue-Haired Lawyer, the man who says "yes" in a humorous fashion.
- Chief Wiggum: Now, we just received doorbell camera footage with a clear visual of the killer.
- Luigi Risotto: [screams] Mamma mia! That's a spicy me-ball!
- Lisa: You all killed someone last Halloween night? But I thought there was a curfew.
- Nelson Muntz: Haw-haw! You weren't cool enough to accidentally kill a guy.
- Otto Mann: It's the Cyborg Reaper!
- Carl Carlson: The Electro-Pope!
- Helen Lovejoy: The Android Jesuit!
- Moe Szyslak: Uh, the hell are you supposed to be anyway?
- Daft Monk: Seriously? It's so obvious. I'm Daft Monk. You know, a monk plus the French electronica duo Daft Punk. It's a very clever pun!
- Marge: Who are you and why are you killing everyone?!
- Daft Monk: Who am I? I am the man you left for dead. I am the shame you tried to bury. I am the one you pretended never existed! I... am... Apu!
- Apu: That's right. You thought you could just get rid of me? That I'd disappear? That there wouldn't be consequences for the horrible thing you did?!
- Bart: Holy crap, we just killed a guy. We gotta call the cops.
- Jimbo Jones: No cops! We take this to our graves.
- Otto: Holy crap! We just killed a guy. We gotta call the cops.
- Duffman: No cops! We take this to our graves. Secret pact. Oh, yeah!
- Apu: I couldn't believe what happened. I was the "hit" half of a hit-and-run.
- Lou: Holy crap, Chief! You just killed a guy! We gotta call the cops!
- Snake Jailbird: No cops! We take this to our graves.
- Apu: No one called an ambulance. No one checked my wallet. No one even looked under my very cool helmet to see who I was! I drifted for hours, assured that I had left this cruel world and entered into nirvana, where I heard the most beautiful, angelic voice.
- Dr. Nick: Hi, floating body!
- Apu: What is this place?
- Dr. Nick: It's "The Island of Forgotten Garbage." All the junk Springfield gets rid of winds up here. Like you!
- Apu: Hmm? How long have you been stranded here?
- Dr. Nick: Oh, I've been on the island for eight seasons! Winter, spring, summer, fall, another winter, another spring--
- Apu: I need to get back home! I'm a beloved member of the community!
- Dr. Nick: Ha, you're still stupid from the surgery. If you wound up here, it's for a reason. Right, Leon?
- Leon Kompowsky: Shh.
- Apu: What I thought was going to be a long and arduous journey only took 30 minutes. It would have been so easy to bring me back!
- Marge: Apu, we're so sorry we left you for dead. Believe me, we wanted to do the right thing, but, but, but...
- Bart: We were so scared and just didn't know what to do.
- Lenny Leonard: If it's any consolation, we had so many internal conversations about it.
- Carl Carlson: Uh, they kind of just didn't go anywhere.
- Homer: Apu! Wait! Yes, we all played a part in this, but we don't all have to die. Just kill me!
- Apu: You, Homer Simpson, would sacrifice yourself to save everyone else? I would expect that from Mr. Flanders but not you.
- Homer: I'm just doing what the old Apu would've done. The guy who loved this town and everyone in it. You were on our bowling teams, our barbershop quartets, our dad-rock cover bands. And we took you for granted. I took you for granted. You can hack me to bits if you want, just give me the lighter first.
- Homer: Apu, my man, what's shaking?
- Apu: Homer, I just had the most disturbing nightmare. Everyone in town killed me and tried to cover it up. It seemed so real. The whole town forgot about me.
- Homer: Come on, that could never happen. Springfield loves you! And after all we've been through, I know I could never forget about you. Oh, crap, that reminds me, I forgot to invite you to our Halloween party. Uh, it's BYOB so these are on you. You gotta come!
- Apu: I have to work.
- Homer: Come on, Apu. It wouldn't be the same without you.
- Apu: What the hey, I'll do it. A Halloween party sounds kind of fun. Plus, I feel like I haven't seen everyone in ages.