Treehouse of Horror XXXVII/Quotes
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- Marge: Homie, it's our first wedding anniversary! Which means it's been exactly a year since you promised to build this shed.
- Homer: Yeah, but I've been thinking, are we really "shed people"? Maybe "box in the living room" is more our vibe.
- Marge: Oh, I'll build it myself.
- Homer: Where does this go?
- Marge: Put it in the shed.
- Homer: Okay. It's going on the list.
- Marge: Don't put it on the list. Put it in the shed!
- Homer: Can we not argue in front of the list?
- Chief Wiggum: Hey, sweetheart! I made it all the way here from the shed, even though it's slightly uphill.
- Marge: Jeff, remind me again about our first date. I just like the way you tell the story.
- Jeff Probst: Well, we went to a tiki bar, and let's just say you didn't vote me off the island.
- Marge: After last night, I thought it best to ask you to... ...cast your vote in the shed of destiny.
- Jeff Probst: The bride has spoken.
- Homer: Marge, I went in the shed, and when I came out, I was married to Helen Lovejoy! And then Lunchlady Dora, then Crazy Cat Lady, and then Jeff Probst.
- Marge: Where do you three rascals think you're going?
- Homer: Marge, we had a long honest talk about what you said ten seconds ago, and we decided to get a jump on fitness by jogging to the dog park.
- Bart: That dog was my best friend. He pooped in all the best places, and he humped all the funniest things.
- Homer: And now he's licking his junk with Jesus.
- Homer: They're not dead? But I... Meatball... Blood shovel... Save me, morning beer!
- Lisa: Mom! I know this is gonna sound crazy, but I think Bart and Santa's Little Helper have swapped bodies!
- Marge: And I think you've swapped bodies with the Silly Monster. Well, I'm off to the Laundromat just to see if anyone needs help.
- Homer: Lisa, if your little theory was true, and it's not, maybe your brother is happier as DogBart. And maybe the pooch is happier as BartDog.
- Lisa: Wait, shouldn't that be the other way around? If we're referring to Bart's body with the dog inside of him, that should be BartDog. The dog with Bart inside should be DogBart.
- Homer: No! If Bart's inside the dog, it's BartDog. Soul first.
- Lisa: Why would you do soul first? The first word should be what we see. DogBart.
- Homer: No, BartDog. That's the only way it makes sense!
- Lisa: Either way, the one I call BartDog is chewing up your vodka hat.
- Homer: My HatVodka!
- Marge: How could your father just up and leave us? At least Kirk Van Houten had the courtesy to murder his family first.
- Mr. Largo: Welcome to Driver's Ed. For some of you, it's your third time, because you parallel park like Billy Joel on payday. Bart Simpson!
- Narrator: Death Drive with Daddy.
- Homer: I hear that guy all the time. Usually just before I'm decapitated. Just once I'd like to end a drive capitated.
- Homer: What do I do?
- Lisa: [reading] "Take your foot off the gas, don't brake, and steer into the skid."
- Homer: Which kid? I don't see a kid. Who should I kill?
- Lisa: Not kid! Skid!