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The Monorail Song

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"The Monorail Song"
Monorail Song.png
Song Information
Singers: Dan Castellaneta
Julie Kavner
Phil Hartman
Nancy Cartwright
Hank Azaria
Maggie Roswell
Characters: Lyle Lanley
Bart Simpson
Homer Simpson
Marge Simpson
Mayor Quimby
Abraham Simpson
Barney Gumble
Miss Hoover
Clancy Wiggum
Length: 1:49
Writer(s): Al Jean
Conan O'Brien
Frank Mula
George W. Meyer
Jeff Martin
John Swartzwelder
Jon Vitti
Album: Songs in the Key of Springfield
Appearance(s): "Marge vs. the Monorail"

"The Monorail Song" is sung by Lyle Lanley and the people of Springfield. This song is sung during a town meeting when trying to discuss what to do with some money the town got from Mr. Burns.


Lyle Lanley:
You know, a town with money's a little like the mule with the spinning wheel. No one knows how he got it and danged if he knows how to use it.
[everyone laughs except Homer who at first doesn't get the joke]
Heh-heh, mule.
Lyle Lanley:
The name's Lanley, Lyle Lanley. And I come before you good people tonight with an idea. Probably the greatest—Aw, it's not for you. It's more a Shelbyville idea.
Mayor Quimby:
Now, wait just a minute. We're twice as smart as the people of Shelbyville. Just tell us your idea and we'll vote for it.
Lyle Lanley:
All right. I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll show you my idea. I give you the Springfield Monorail!
(everyone gasps)
I've sold monorails to Brockway, Ogdenville, and North Haverbrook, and, by gum, it put them on the map!
Well, sir, there's nothin' on earth like a genuine bona-fide electrified six-car monorail! What'd I say?
Ned Flanders:
Lyle Lanley:
What's it called?
Patty and Selma Bouvier:
Lyle Lanley:
That's right!
Monorail... monorail... monorail... (continue over the following lyrics)
Miss Hoover:
I hear those things are awfully loud.
Lyle Lanley:
It glides as softly as a cloud.
Is there a chance the track could bend?
Lyle Lanley:
Not on your life, my Hindu friend.
Barney Gumble:
What about us brain-dead slobs?
Lyle Lanley:
You'll be given cushy jobs.
Abraham Simpson:
Were you sent here by the devil?
Lyle Lanley:
No, good sir, I'm on the level.
Clancy Wiggum:
The ring came off my pudding can.
Lyle Lanley;
Take my pen knife, my good man.
I swear, it's Springfield's only choice!
Throw up your hands and raise your voice!
Lyle Lanley:
What's it called?
Once again!
But Main Street's still all cracked and broken.
Sorry, Mom, the mob has spoken!

Behind the Laughter[edit]

It is a parody of songs such as "Rock Island" and "Ya Got Trouble" from the musical Meredith Willson's The Music Man, where instead of lyrics being sung, they are spoken in a kind of crazy version of Gilbert-and-Sullivan-esque patter.