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Who Needs the Kwik-E-Mart?

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"Who Needs the Kwik-E-Mart?"
Song Information
Singers: Hank Azaria
Dan Castellaneta
Julie Kavner
Nancy Cartwright
Yeardley Smith
Characters: Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
Homer Simpson
Marge Simpson
Bart Simpson
Lisa Simpson
Writer(s): Music: Alf Clausen
Lyrics: Greg Daniels
Album: Songs in the Key of Springfield
Appearance(s): "Homer and Apu"

"Who Needs the Kwik-E-Mart?" is a song sung by Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, Marge, Lisa, Bart, and Homer Simpson.


Who Needs the Kwik-E-Mart?[edit]

Whether igloo, hut, or lean-to,
Or a geodesic dome,
There's no structure I have been to
Which I'd rather call my home.
When I first arrived, you were all such jerks,
But now I've come to loooooooove,
Your quirks.
Maggie, with her eyes so bright,
Marge with hair by Frank Lloyd Wright,
Lisa can philosophize,
Bart's adept at spinning lies.
Homer's a delightful fella.
Sorry 'bout the salmonella.
Heh-heh. That's okay.
Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?
Now here's the tricky part,
Oh, won't you rhyme with me?
Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?
Their floors are sticky-mart!
They make Dad sick-e-mart!
Let's hurl a brick-e-mart!
The Kwik-E-Mart is real—
Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?
Not meeeeeeeeeee!
The Simpsons [simultaneously]:
Forget the Kwik-E-Mart!
Good-bye to Kwik-E-Mart!
Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?
Not me!

Who Needs the Kwik-E-Mart? (Reprise)[edit]

Apu [sadly]:
Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?
I do.

Behind the Laughter[edit]

The music was written by Alf Clausen, the lyrics by Greg Daniels. It is part of the "Homer & Apu (Medley)" track of the album Songs in the Key of Springfield. The song was nominated for an Emmy award for Outstanding Individual Achievement in Music and Lyrics. It lost to "The Song Remembers When" from the TV special Tricia Yearwood: The Song Remembers When.