Who Needs the Kwik-E-Mart?

For the quest in The Simpsons: Tapped Out, see Who Needs the Kwik-E-Mart.

"Who Needs the Kwik-E-Mart?"

Song Information Singers: Hank Azaria Dan Castellaneta Julie Kavner Nancy Cartwright Yeardley Smith Characters: Apu Nahasapeemapetilon Homer Simpson Marge Simpson Bart Simpson Lisa Simpson Writer(s): Music: Alf Clausen Lyrics: Greg Daniels Album: Songs in the Key of Springfield Appearance(s): "Homer and Apu"

"Who Needs the Kwik-E-Mart?" is a song sung by Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, Marge, Lisa, Bart, and Homer Simpson.

Lyrics

Who Needs the Kwik-E-Mart?

Apu:

Whether igloo, hut, or lean-to,

Or a geodesic dome,

There's no structure I have been to

Which I'd rather call my home.

When I first arrived, you were all such jerks,

But now I've come to loooooooove,

Your quirks.

Maggie, with her eyes so bright,

Marge with hair by Frank Lloyd Wright,

Lisa can philosophize,

Bart's adept at spinning lies.

Homer's a delightful fella.

Sorry 'bout the salmonella.

Homer:

Heh-heh. That's okay.

Apu:

Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?

Now here's the tricky part,

Oh, won't you rhyme with me?

Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?

Marge:

Their floors are sticky-mart!

Lisa:

They make Dad sick-e-mart!

Bart:

Let's hurl a brick-e-mart!

Homer:

The Kwik-E-Mart is real—

D'oh!

All:

Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?

Apu:

Not meeeeeeeeeee!

The Simpsons [simultaneously]:

Forget the Kwik-E-Mart!

Good-bye to Kwik-E-Mart!

Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?

Apu:

Not me!

Who Needs the Kwik-E-Mart? (Reprise)

Apu [sadly]:

Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?

I do.

Behind the Laughter

It is part of the "Homer & Apu (Medley)" track of the album Songs in the Key of Springfield.

"Who Needs the Kwik-E-Mart?" was nominated for a Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Original Music and Lyrics in the 46th Primetime Emmy Awards. However, it lost to "The Song Remembers When".

Appearances

• Episode – "Homer and Apu"
• Episode – "All Singing, All Dancing"
• Album – Songs in the Key of Springfield

References

Songs in the Key of Springfield
The Simpsons Main Title Theme (Extended Version) • We Do (The Stonecutters' Song) • Dancin' Homer (Medley) (Crosstown Bridge • Capitol City) • Homer & Apu (Medley) (Who Needs the Kwik-E-Mart? • Who Needs the Kwik-E-Mart? (Reprise)) • 'Round Springfield (Medley) (Bleeding Gums Blues • A Four-Headed King • There She Sits, Brokenhearted • Jazzman) • Oh, Streetcar! (The Musical) (White-Hot Grease Fires (Prologue) • Long Before the Superdome • New Orleans • I Thought My Life Would Be a Mardi Gras • I Am Just a Simple Paper Boy • Stella! • She Flies • The Kindness of Strangers) • Jingle Bells • $pringfield (Medley) (The Simpsons End Credits Theme (Big Band Vegas) • Gracie Films Logo) • "Itchy & Scratchy" Main Title Theme • "Itchy & Scratchy" End Credits Theme • "The Day the Violence Died (Medley)" (Not Jazz Chor, But Sad Chor • The Amendment Song) • Señor Burns • The Simpsons End Credits Theme ("Afro-Cuban" Version) • Your Wife Don't Understand You • Kamp Krusty (Medley) (South of the Border • Gracie Films Logo) • The Simpsons End Credits Theme ("Australian" Version) • The Simpsons End Credits Theme ("Hill Street Blues" Homage) • The Simpsons End Credits Theme ("It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World" Homage) • Treehouse of Horror V (Medley) (Controlling the Transmission (Prologue) • The Simpsons Halloween Special Main Title Theme) • Honey Roasted Peanuts • Boy-Scoutz 'N the Hood (Medley) (Saved by the Bell • Jackpot • Springfield, Springfield (Parts 1 & 2) • Remember This? • Another Edwardian Morning) • Two Dozen and One Greyhounds (Medley) (The Pick of the Litter • See My Vest) • Eye on Springfield Theme • Flaming Moe's • Homer's Barbershop Quartet (Medley)‎ (One Last Call • Baby on Board) • TV Sucks‎ • A Fish Called Selma (Medley) (Troy Chic • Stop the Planet of the Apes • Dr. Zaius • Chimpan-A to Chimpan-Z) • Send In the Clowns • The Monorail Song • In Search of an Out of Body Vibe • Cool • Bagged Me a Homer • It Was a Very Good Beer • Bart Sells His Soul (Medley) (From God's Brain to Your Mouth • In the Garden of Eden) • Happy Birthday, Lisa • The Simpsons Halloween Special End Credits Theme ("The Addams Family" Homage) • "Who Shot Mr. Burns? Part One (Medley) (Who Dunnit? • The Simpsons End Credits Theme ("JFK" Homage)) • Lisa's Wedding (Medley) (The Simpsons End Credits Theme (Renaissance" Version) • Gracie Films Logo) • The Simpsons End Credits Theme ("Dragnet" Homage)