The Changing of the Guardian/Quotes
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
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"The Changing of the Guardian"
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- Mav: Yo, I'm Mav.
- Bart: Wow, a man's stomach can be flat?
- Mav: It's one of the, like, awesome side effects of being a pro surfer.
- Bart: Wow.
- Lisa: Someone's smitten.
- Portia: Whoa, way to shralp the crispies, babe.
- Mav: My wife, Portia.
- Lisa: Another surfer?
- Portia: Environmental lawyer. And in my free time, I prosecute record companies who withhold royalties from elderly blues musicians.
- Marge: My God. They want to steal our kids.
- Homer: No one steals my kids, except me, from that theme park jail that I never told you about, except I guess I just did.
- Marge: We're all caught up now. Let's go.
- Marge: Look, before anyone says anything else, how could you possibly think you could get our kids?
- Portia: It happens more than you know, Marge. I'm a lawyer; he's a surfer. That combination's pretty unstoppable.
- Bart: Well, I'm afraid that we don't want to be with anyone but Mom and whoever she chooses to be with.
- Lisa: Portia, you're the woman I dream of becoming, but Mom is my mom.
- Portia: Fine, but you're leaving a gap in our lives that can only be filled by foreign travel, sleeping late and gourmet food.
- Lenny Leonard: Oh, my God, the twister got Carl, my best friend in the world. I can barely remember what he looks like.
- Homer: He was a black guy, but his voice sounded like a white guy.
- Carl Carlson: Hey, excuse me for wanting to fit in.
- Marge: Homie, if we did both die, we've never named guardians. The kids could end up wards of the state.
- Homer: Connecticut?
- Marge: No, our state.
- Homer: Okay, you're right. It's hard to imagine anyone else bringing up our kids, but I think the choice is obvious: my dad.
- Grampa: Oh, you'd let me have another chance after the way I screwed things up with you?
- Homer: Eh, good point. We'll find somebody else.
