Steal This Episode/Quotes
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- Marge: Ooh, date night! I'll go change my bra.
- Homer: Bless you, boy. That was the greatest thing I've seen on a computer that I can talk about with you in the room. How did you know how to do that?
- Bart: I'm under 30.
- Carl: Homer, go to the theater and see the movie.
- Homer: Theaters? All I need to see this movie is a laptop and a Web site based in a country that's really just an offshore oil platform.
- Carl: All we want is brand-new, big budget entertainment in our homes for nothin'.
- Marge: (to Homer) This is fun! And it was so nice of the movie company to let you show their film.
- Marge: When I watched that pirated movie, I was stealing with my eyes.
- FBI Soldier: I wanted to catch the serial killer.
- Deputy Director Gratman: (mocking his soldier in whiny voice) I wanted to catch the serial killer.
- Chief Wiggum: I'm not wearing an undershirt and my badge is poking into my skin.
- Deputy Director Gratman: We got our man, thanks to a tip from a heroic American snitch.
- Homer: (Angry at Superintendent Chalmers) Superintendent Chalmers, you never forgave me for that time we wore the same Hawaiian shirt to that luau!
- Deputy Director Gratman: From now on, the only place you'll be watching movies without having to buy a ticket is jail.
- Lisa: It's almost like having Dad here. Only with less growling when I go near his food.
- Bart: I just want to know who dropped the dime on Dad. Lousy rat.
- Marge: (asking Swedish ambassador) Your country doesn't think illegally downloading movies is wrong?
- Lisa: The people of Sweden believe all movies should be shared freely.
- Marge: How is that not stealing?
- Swedish ambassador: Bah, your Hollywood studios are the real thieves, claiming all their hit movies have lost money. I spit on their bookkeeping.
- Homer: Yeah, and why don't they make a sequel to Taken where The Hangover guys get taken and the only ones that could rescue them is Fast and Furious.
- Bart: Aw, man, I would love to pirate that.
- Deputy Director Gratman: There's only one surefire way to get fugitives out of a foreign building-- blasting death metal.
- Swedish ambassador: Swedes love death metal. It's remind us of death.
- Deputy Director Gratman: Damn those Peace Prize-giving fish-smoker.
- Judd Apatow: Homer Simpson is an enemy of art. Art created by writers, directors, and the guy who uses a computer to erase or enhance nipples.
- Bart: So what do you think, Lise? Who are the good guys here? The media companies or the Internet freedom guys?
- Lisa: Well, both groups claim their intentions are noble, but at the end of the day, they're both trying to steal as much money as they can.
