Difference between revisions of "101 Mitigations/Quotes"

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Homer: Your Honor, I'm scared. Okay, I screwed up. If you'll permit, may I read a speech in my defense?

Judge Snyder: Did your daughter write it?

Homer: Absolutely not. Sir, if an opportunity came along to give your kids a memory they'll never forget, wouldn't you hop in the driver's seat? A golden day with their dad. What could be more innocent? All I know is that as that gas gauge read empty, our hearts were full. Full of love. Love of what our country does best: build cars 60 years ago!

Judge Snyder: I'm a judge. But I'm also a father. A father whose ex-wife only lets him see the kids on summers and Christmas. I don't need you to rub it in. I find the defendant guilty.

Homer: Your Honor, I'm not the one on trial here.

Judge Snyder: Yes, you are.

Lisa: "Hire a lawyer," I said. "Waste of money," he said.

Sideshow Mel: This is what I spend my time in courtroom audiences for. This is my Starbucks.

Marge: Maybe I can make peace with Comic Book Guy.

Lisa: Do you think so? He's an angry man. His favorite thing is Star Wars, and he hates Star Wars.

Marge: I'll talk to him.

Homer: Careful, Marge. He's a lazy, overweight slob. Don't fall in love with him.