Difference between revisions of "Whacking Day/Quotes"
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:''[Nixon accidentally repeatedly strikes a person holding a snake down for him.]'' | :''[Nixon accidentally repeatedly strikes a person holding a snake down for him.]'' | ||
| − | :'''Nixon:''' "Is Whacking Day over? ''[everyone boos]'' Thank you. Thanks for coming out." | + | :'''[[Richard Nixon|Nixon]]:''' "Is Whacking Day over? ''[everyone boos]'' Thank you. Thanks for coming out." |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :'''Lisa:''' How can you people turn on snakes after all they've done for you? | + | :'''[[Lisa]]:''' How can you people turn on snakes after all they've done for you? |
| − | :'''Grampa:''' I'm an old man, I hate everything but Matlock. Ooh, it's on now. | + | :'''[[Grampa]]:''' I'm an old man, I hate everything but Matlock. Ooh, it's on now. |
---- | ---- | ||
:'''Lisa:''' If the snakes were in here we could protect them. | :'''Lisa:''' If the snakes were in here we could protect them. | ||
| − | :'''Bart:''' According to this, snakes hear by sensing vibrations in the ground. So, if we put our stereo speakers on the ground and play something with a lot of bass, those snakes will be in here like Oprah on a baked ham. | + | :'''[[Bart]]:''' According to this, snakes hear by sensing vibrations in the ground. So, if we put our stereo speakers on the ground and play something with a lot of bass, those snakes will be in here like Oprah on a baked ham. |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :'''Barney:''' ''[whacking invisible snakes]'' Snakes! Snakes everywhere! | + | :'''[[Barney]]:''' ''[whacking invisible snakes]'' Snakes! Snakes everywhere! |
| − | :'''Lenny:''' You gettin' ready for Whacking Day? | + | :'''[[Lenny]]:''' You gettin' ready for Whacking Day? |
:'''Barney:''' What's Whacking Day? | :'''Barney:''' What's Whacking Day? | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :'''Ralph:''' What's a battle? | + | :'''[[Ralph]]:''' What's a battle? |
| − | :'''Principal Skinner:''' Hahahaha, let's go. | + | :'''[[Principal Skinner]]:''' Hahahaha, let's go. |
| − | :'''Superintendent Chalmers:''' Did that boy say what's a battle? | + | :'''[[Superintendent Chalmers]]:''' Did that boy say what's a battle? |
:'''Principal Skinner:''' No he said What's that rattle, it's about the heating duct. | :'''Principal Skinner:''' No he said What's that rattle, it's about the heating duct. | ||
| Line 38: | Line 38: | ||
:'''Superintendent Chalmers:''' Oh so you hear r's as b's? | :'''Superintendent Chalmers:''' Oh so you hear r's as b's? | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :'''Reverend Lovejoy:''' ''[reading from the Bible]'' And the Lord said, whack ye all the serpants which crawl on their bellies and thy town shall be a beacon unto others. ''[long pause]'' So you see Lisa, even God himself endorses Wacking Day. | + | :'''[[Reverend Lovejoy]]:''' ''[reading from the Bible]'' And the Lord said, whack ye all the serpants which crawl on their bellies and thy town shall be a beacon unto others. ''[long pause]'' So you see Lisa, even God himself endorses Wacking Day. |
:'''Lisa:''' Lemme see that. | :'''Lisa:''' Lemme see that. | ||
| Line 48: | Line 48: | ||
:'''Old Irishman:''' 'Tis true. I took many a lump, but 'twas all in fun. | :'''Old Irishman:''' 'Tis true. I took many a lump, but 'twas all in fun. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :'''Nelson:''' I want you to keep filling your shirt with crud until I get back. | + | :'''[[Nelson]]:''' I want you to keep filling your shirt with crud until I get back. |
| − | :'''Milhouse:''' Yes, sir. | + | :'''[[Milhouse]]:''' Yes, sir. |
---- | ---- | ||
:'''Choir:''' Oh Whacking Day! | :'''Choir:''' Oh Whacking Day! | ||
| − | |||
:Oh Whacking Day! | :Oh Whacking Day! | ||
| − | |||
:Our hallowed snake skull-cracking day! | :Our hallowed snake skull-cracking day! | ||
| − | |||
:'''Boy:''' We’ll break their backs | :'''Boy:''' We’ll break their backs | ||
| − | |||
:Gouge out their eyes | :Gouge out their eyes | ||
| − | |||
:Their evil hearts we’ll pulverize! | :Their evil hearts we’ll pulverize! | ||
| − | |||
:'''Choir:''' Oh Whacking Day! | :'''Choir:''' Oh Whacking Day! | ||
| − | |||
:Oh Whacking Day! | :Oh Whacking Day! | ||
| − | |||
:May God bestow His grace on thee. | :May God bestow His grace on thee. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| Line 86: | Line 78: | ||
:'''Bart:''' Deformed? Why didn't you say so! They should call this book "Johnny Deformed"? | :'''Bart:''' Deformed? Why didn't you say so! They should call this book "Johnny Deformed"? | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :''[after realizing that Nelson, Dolph, Jimbo, and Kearney are still locked in the school's utility closet, Principal Skinner and Groundskeeper Willie rush over to the school with a bunch of mountain bikes]'' | + | :''[after realizing that Nelson, Dolph, Jimbo, and [[Kearney]] are still locked in the school's utility closet, Principal Skinner and Groundskeeper Willie rush over to the school with a bunch of mountain bikes]'' |
:'''Principal Skinner:''' We give them their bikes, no one sues. ''[laughs nervously]'' | :'''Principal Skinner:''' We give them their bikes, no one sues. ''[laughs nervously]'' | ||
| − | :'''Willie:''' ''[laughs]'' What if they're dead, sir? | + | :'''[[Willie]]:''' ''[laughs]'' What if they're dead, sir? |
:'''Principal Skinnger:''' Then we ride these bikes to Mexico, and freedom, Willie! Freedom! | :'''Principal Skinnger:''' Then we ride these bikes to Mexico, and freedom, Willie! Freedom! | ||
| Line 98: | Line 90: | ||
:'''Nelson:''' Imagine...a school out there with no bullies. | :'''Nelson:''' Imagine...a school out there with no bullies. | ||
| − | :'''Jimbo:''' Science geeks not getting beat up. Kids using their lunch money for food. | + | :'''[[Jimbo]]:''' Science geeks not getting beat up. Kids using their lunch money for food. |
:'''Nelson:''' I can't take it! | :'''Nelson:''' I can't take it! | ||
---- | ---- | ||
{{Season 4|Q}} | {{Season 4|Q}} | ||
Revision as of 10:27, November 12, 2018
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- Evil Homer: [singing conga-style] "I am evil Homer! I am evil Homer!"
- Kent Brockman: "But first, a look at the local holiday that was called distasteful and puerile by a panel of hillbillies, Whacking Day! In a tradition that dates back to founding father Jebediah Springfield, every May 10th local residents gathered to drive snakes into the center of town and whack them to snake heaven. [footage plays] After exposing Alger Hiss, Honorary Grand Marshal Richard Nixon goes after another deadly hiss."
- [Nixon accidentally repeatedly strikes a person holding a snake down for him.]
- Nixon: "Is Whacking Day over? [everyone boos] Thank you. Thanks for coming out."
- Lisa: How can you people turn on snakes after all they've done for you?
- Grampa: I'm an old man, I hate everything but Matlock. Ooh, it's on now.
- Lisa: If the snakes were in here we could protect them.
- Bart: According to this, snakes hear by sensing vibrations in the ground. So, if we put our stereo speakers on the ground and play something with a lot of bass, those snakes will be in here like Oprah on a baked ham.
- Barney: [whacking invisible snakes] Snakes! Snakes everywhere!
- Lenny: You gettin' ready for Whacking Day?
- Barney: What's Whacking Day?
- Ralph: What's a battle?
- Principal Skinner: Hahahaha, let's go.
- Superintendent Chalmers: Did that boy say what's a battle?
- Principal Skinner: No he said What's that rattle, it's about the heating duct.
- Superintendent Chalmers: Hmm, it sounded like battle.
- Principal Skinner: I've had a cold, so...
- Superintendent Chalmers: Oh so you hear r's as b's?
- Reverend Lovejoy: [reading from the Bible] And the Lord said, whack ye all the serpants which crawl on their bellies and thy town shall be a beacon unto others. [long pause] So you see Lisa, even God himself endorses Wacking Day.
- Lisa: Lemme see that.
- Reverend Lovejoy: [puts the bible behind him] Mmmmmmm, no.
- Bart: Ladies and gentlemen! Whacking Day is a sham! It was originally conceived in 1922 as an excuse to beat up on the Irish.
- Old Irishman: 'Tis true. I took many a lump, but 'twas all in fun.
- Nelson: I want you to keep filling your shirt with crud until I get back.
- Milhouse: Yes, sir.
- Choir: Oh Whacking Day!
- Oh Whacking Day!
- Our hallowed snake skull-cracking day!
- Boy: We’ll break their backs
- Gouge out their eyes
- Their evil hearts we’ll pulverize!
- Choir: Oh Whacking Day!
- Oh Whacking Day!
- May God bestow His grace on thee.
- Homer: Hey, kids, how was school?
- Lisa: I learned how many grams in a pennyweight.
- Bart: I got expelled.
- Homer: That's my boy! [sips his Duff beer] Mmm... beer... [realizes] What!?
- Marge: Bart, I'd like you to read this copy of "Johnny Tremaine." It's a book I read as a girl.
- Bart: A book!? Pfffft.
- Marge: I think you might like this. It's about a boy who goes to war. His hand is deformed in an accident.
- Bart: Deformed? Why didn't you say so! They should call this book "Johnny Deformed"?
- [after realizing that Nelson, Dolph, Jimbo, and Kearney are still locked in the school's utility closet, Principal Skinner and Groundskeeper Willie rush over to the school with a bunch of mountain bikes]
- Principal Skinner: We give them their bikes, no one sues. [laughs nervously]
- Willie: [laughs] What if they're dead, sir?
- Principal Skinnger: Then we ride these bikes to Mexico, and freedom, Willie! Freedom!
- Wille: Freedom! [laughs, then under his breath] Yeah, I'll turn you in at the first toll booth.
- Nelson: Imagine...a school out there with no bullies.
- Jimbo: Science geeks not getting beat up. Kids using their lunch money for food.
- Nelson: I can't take it!
