Mr. Plow/Quotes
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- [Homer totalled both cars. An insurance agent is looking over the loss.]
- Adjuster: Now before I give the check, one last question. Uh, this place Moe's, you left just before the accident, this is a business of some kind?
- Homer's Brain: 'Don't tell him you were at a bar. [gasps] But what else is open at night?'
- Homer: It's a pornography store. I was buying pornography.
- Homer's Brain: 'Heh heh. I woulda never thought of that.'
- Farmer: 'Fraid old Zeke, he rides up here with me. Can't trust a pig with watermelons, y'know.
- Grampa: We're not prisoners anymore! We're free! We can go anywhere we want!
- [long beat]
- Grampa: I'm cold and frightened.
- [Car show. An attractive, large-breasted, blond model in a sequin gown is standing next to a car.]
- Homer: Do you come with the car?
- Model: Te-he-he-he! You!
- [Homer goes to look at other cars, another man looks at car.]
- Man: Do you come with the car?
- Model: Te-he-he-he! You!
- Homer: Adam West! Hey, kids! Batman!!
- Lisa: Dad, that's not the real Batman.
- Adam West: Of course I'm Batman. See, here's a picture of me with Robin.
- Bart: Who the hell is Robin?
- Adam West: I suppose you're only familiar with the new Batman movies. Michelle Pfeiffer? Ha! The only true Catwoman is Julie Newmar, Lee Meriwether, or Eartha Kitt. And I didn't need molded plastic to improve my physique. Pure. West. And why doesn't Batman dance anymore? Remember the Batusi? [starts dancing]
- Homer: Heh. Nice meetin' ya... [tugging the kids back and whispering] Just keep moving, don't make eye contact...
- [Telephone rings and is answered by Homer.]
- Homer: Mr. Plow, that name again is Mr. Plow.
- Man: 'Hello, I'm calling from Delinquent Accounts at Kumatsu Motors.'
- Homer: Oh, you want the Mr. Plow who plows driveways. This is Tony Plow. You know, from Leave It To Beaver? [pause] Yeah, they were gay.
- Homer: [Climbs out of his crashed car and the airbag activates.] D'oh! Well I got 'im as good as he got me. [Sees Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie at the front door shocked] D'oh!
- Homer: Mr. West, you said there was a job for me!
- West: There was, when I called you 45 minutes ago.
- Barney: So long, Superman! You're secret identity is safe with me!
- Brockman: Hardest hit by the blizzard is Springfield's forbidding Widow's Peak. Our own Arnie Pie is on the scene.
- Arnie: [live] Everything's snowed in! All I can see is white!
- Brockman: Arnie, please, the ski conditions.
- Arnie: [now upside-down] Mayday, mayday! I think I'm flying into a mountain! Tell my wife I love—
- Brockman: Heheh, that's great, Arnie.
- Grampa:The snow is melted! We can go outside again!
- [short beat]
- Grampa: Erh, I don't like the looks of those teenagers.
