Difference between revisions of "Lisa the Skeptic/Quotes"

Latest revision as of 17:52, April 26, 2024

Eddie: So, the hook is baited, huh?

Lou: Heh. Nice metaphor, Eddie.

Chief Wiggum: Yeah, good work, Eddie.

Bart: Dad? Why aren't you saying anything? Where's our motorboat?

Homer: I didn't like it. The mast had termites.

Lisa: Why would a motorboat have a mast?

Homer: Because! The thing, it was... shut up.

Marge: Whoo! There's that new mega-mall they're building. They say the air conditioner will be more powerful than a million hydrogen bombs.

Lisa: Principal Skinner, remember how I didn't sue when I found that scorpion in my applesauce? Well, I'm calling in a favor.

Principal Skinner: Hmm. I knew this day would come.

Ralph Wiggum: Princeskipper Skipple! Prinnipple Skimsker! I found something! It's a spearhead!

Miss Hoover: That's your trowel blade, Ralph. It fell off the handle.

Ralph: And I found it!

Lisa: It could be anything. It could be a mutant from the nuclear plant.

Mr. Burns: Oh, fiddle-faddle. Everyone knows our mutants have flippers. Oops. I've said too much. Smithers, use the amnesia ray.

Waylon Smithers: You mean the revolver, sir?

Mr. Burns: Precisely. And be sure to wipe your own memory clear when you're finished.

Lisa: Dad, it's not fair to claim this thing is an angel. There's no proof of that.

Homer: No one's calling it an angel, Lisa. If you'll look carefully, you'll notice I never once used the word "angel".

Lisa: What about that sign right there?

Homer: That's a typo.

Lisa: Oh, thank you so much! Uhm... you know I can't afford to pay you.

Stephen Jay Gould: I didn't become a scientist for financial gain. Whatever little money you have will be just fine.

Carl Carlson: I say it's the Angel of Peace, ya idiot!

Lenny Leonard: And I say it's the Angel of Mercy, you jerk!

Kent Brockman: Miss Simpson, how can you maintain your skepticism in spite of the fact that this thing really, really looks like an angel?

Lisa: I just think it's a fantasy. If you believe in angels, then why not unicorns, or sea monsters, or leprechauns?

Kent Brockman: Oh, that's a bunch of baloney, Lisa. Everyone knows leprechauns are extinct.

Homer: Oh, no! This can't be happening! What the hell are we gonna do with ten thousand angel ashtrays?

Bart: I could take up smoking.

Homer: You damn well better!

Ralph: I'm scared, Daddy. Too scared to even wet my pants.

Chief Wiggum: It's okay, son. Just relax and it'll come.

Lisa: Wait a second! You planted a phony skeleton for me to find! This was all a big hoax.

Sid: Not a hoax. A publicity stunt!

Lisa: You exploited people's deepest beliefs just to hawk your cheesy wares?! Well, we are outraged! Aren't we?!

Chief Wiggum: Oh, oh yeah, yeah, we're outraged. Very, uh... Very much so... But look at all the stores! A Pottery Barn!