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The Secret War of Lisa Simpson/Quotes

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Season 8 Episode Quotes
177 "The Simpsons Spin-Off Showcase"
"The Secret War of Lisa Simpson"
"The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson" 179

Chief Wiggum: Aw, can't anybody in this town take the law into their own hands?

Announcer: The moon. For several years, she has fascinated many. But will man ever walk on her fertile surface? Democratic hopeful Adlai Stevenson says so.
Adlai Stevenson II: I have no objection to man walking on the moon.

Lisa: Where's Miss Hoover?
Janey Powell: Hey, her car's gone.
Ralph Wiggum: Maybe she drove to the moon.

Lisa: It's not my nature to complain, but so far today we've had three movies, two film strips, and an hour and a half of "magazine time." I just don't feel challenged.
Principal Skinner: Of course we could make things more challenging, Lisa, but then the stupider students would be in here complaining... furrowing their brows in a vain attempt to understand the situation...

Marge: Well, it certainly was nice of you to accept Bart in the middle of the semester.
The Commandant: Fortunately, we've had a couple of recent "freak-outs," so that freed up a couple of bunks.
Bart: "Freak-outs?"
Homer: If, uh, that happens, are we still charged for the entire semester?

Lisa: Hey, look, it's the school motto.
Bart: [reading] "I'll die before I surrender, Tim." [to Lisa] Who's Tim?
Lisa: Apparently Tim was someone who was with the general moments before he was shot right in the head.

Instructor: Since you attended public school, I'm going to assume that you're already proficient with small arms. So, we'll start you off with something a little more advanced.

Bart: I'm sorry I froze you out, Lis. I--I just didn't want the guys to think I'd gone soft on the girl issue.
Lisa: Ech, I'm tired of being an issue, Bart. Maybe everyone would be better off if I just quit.
Bart: But if you quit, it'll be like an expert knot-tier quitting a knot-tying contest right in the middle of tying a knot!
Lisa: Why'd you say that?
Bart: I dunno. I was just looking at my shoelaces.

Bart: I thought you came here looking for a challenge.
Lisa: Duh! A challenge I could do.

The Commandant: Gentlemen, I regret to inform you that the State Supreme Court has determined that forcing cadets to cross "The Eliminator" is a barbaric and malicious practice.
Lisa: [under her breath] Yes!
The Commandant: Hence, you will be the last class to be subjected to it.

The Commandant: The wars of the future will not be fought on a battlefield or at sea. They will be fought in space, or possibly on top of a very tall mountain. In either case, most of the actual fighting will be done by small robots. And as you go forth today, remember always, your duty is clear: to build and maintain those robots. Thank you.
Season 8 Quotes
Treehouse of Horror VII You Only Move Twice The Homer They Fall Burns, Baby Burns Bart After Dark A Milhouse Divided Lisa's Date with Density Hurricane Neddy El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer The Springfield Files The Twisted World of Marge Simpson Mountain of Madness Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(Annoyed Grunt)cious The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show Homer's Phobia Brother from Another Series My Sister, My Sitter Homer vs. the Eighteenth Amendment Grade School Confidential The Canine Mutiny The Old Man and the Lisa In Marge We Trust Homer's Enemy The Simpsons Spin-Off Showcase The Secret War of Lisa Simpson