Lisa the Skeptic/Quotes
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- Eddie: So, the hook is baited, huh?
- Lou: Heh. Nice metaphor, Eddie.
- Chief Wiggum: Yeah, good work, Eddie.
- Bart: Dad? Why aren't you saying anything? Where's our motorboat?
- Homer: I didn't like it. The mast had termites.
- Lisa: Why would a motorboat have a mast?
- Homer: Because! The thing, it was... shut up.
- Marge: Whoo! There's that new mega-mall they're building. They say the air conditioner will be more powerful than a million hydrogen bombs.
- Lisa: Principal Skinner, remember how I didn't sue when I found that scorpion in my applesauce? Well, I'm calling in a favor.
- Principal Skinner: Hmm. I knew this day would come.
- Ralph Wiggum: Princeskipper Skipple! Prinnipple Skimsker! I found something! It's a spearhead!
- Miss Hoover: That's your trowel blade, Ralph. It fell off the handle.
- Ralph: And I found it!
- Lisa: It could be anything. It could be a mutant from the nuclear plant.
- Mr. Burns: Oh, fiddle-faddle. Everyone knows our mutants have flippers. Oops. I've said too much. Smithers, use the amnesia ray.
- Waylon Smithers: You mean the revolver, sir?
- Mr. Burns: Precisely. And be sure to wipe your own memory clear when you're finished.
- Lisa: Dad, it's not fair to claim this thing is an angel. There's no proof of that.
- Homer: No one's calling it an angel, Lisa. If you'll look carefully, you'll notice I never once used the word "angel".
- Lisa: What about that sign right there?
- Homer: That's a typo.
- Lisa: Oh, thank you so much! Uhm... you know I can't afford to pay you.
- Stephen Jay Gould: I didn't become a scientist for financial gain. Whatever little money you have will be just fine.
- Carl Carlson: I say it's the Angel of Peace, ya idiot!
- Lenny Leonard: And I say it's the Angel of Mercy, you jerk!
- Kent Brockman: Miss Simpson, how can you maintain your skepticism in spite of the fact that this thing really, really looks like an angel?
- Lisa: I just think it's a fantasy. If you believe in angels, then why not unicorns, or sea monsters, or leprechauns?
- Kent Brockman: Oh, that's a bunch of baloney, Lisa. Everyone knows leprechauns are extinct.
- Homer: Oh, no! This can't be happening! What the hell are we gonna do with ten thousand angel ashtrays?
- Bart: I could take up smoking.
- Homer: You damn well better!
- Ralph: I'm scared, Daddy. Too scared to even wet my pants.
- Chief Wiggum: It's okay, son. Just relax and it'll come.
- Lisa: Wait a second! You planted a phony skeleton for me to find! This was all a big hoax.
- Sid: Not a hoax. A publicity stunt!
- Lisa: You exploited people's deepest beliefs just to hawk your cheesy wares?! Well, we are outraged! Aren't we?!
- Chief Wiggum: Oh, oh yeah, yeah, we're outraged. Very, uh... Very much so... But look at all the stores! A Pottery Barn!
