All Singing, All Dancing/Quotes
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189
"All Singing, All Dancing"
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- Marge: We got the popcorn! Did you get Waiting to Exhale?
- Homer: Well, they put us on the Waiting to Exhale waiting list, but they said don't hold yer breath.
- [Homer walks into the living room.]
- Lisa: Did you get Emma? Did you get Emma? Didja, didja, didja, huh?
- Homer: Whoa, whoa. Calm down, little lady. Take it easy, take it easy, heh, heh. No.
- Marge: What did you get?
- Homer: Something very close, exactly along those lines. A Clint Eastwood-Lee Marvin shoot-'em-up Western!
- [Lisa and Marge share an annoyed murmur. Bart puts a tape in the VCR.)
- Bart: So prepare yourself for the bloody mayhem and unholy carnage of Joshua Logan's Paint Your Wagon.
- Homer: With blood, I bet!
- [Puts on tape.]
- Man: Hey, that's a pretty sorry-lookin' wagon you got there, mister.
- Clint Eastwood: I reckon it could use a... coat of paint.
- Man: [calling out happily] Well, what are we waitin' for?
- [Music starts and the man and outlaw begin dancing.]
- Clint Eastwood and Man: [singing] Gonna paint our wagon. Gonna paint it good. We ain't braggin'. We're gonna coat that wood!
- Homer: They're singing! They're singing, Marge! Why aren't they killing each other?
- [Homer sees something on-screen.]
- Homer: Wait, wait, wait! Here comes Lee Marvin! Thank God! He's always drunk and violent!
- [He isn't this time.]
- Marge: Who knew that Lee Marvin could do such marvelous splits?
- Lisa: He's dreamy.
- Homer: Oh, why did they have to screw up a perfectly serviceable wagon story with all that fruity singing?
- Marge: I thought it was toe-tapping fun.
- Homer: Singing is the lowest form of communication.
- Marge: Homer, you sing all the time.
- Homer: No I don't. I hate to rhyme.
- [Music starts and the family starts to sing.]
- Lisa: You like musicals... don't you, dad?
- Homer: No, I don't. I think they're bad! They're fake, and phony, and totally wrong!
- Bart: Wake up dad, you're singing a song!
- Homer: I wouldn't, I couldn't, I hate that stuff!
- Marge: Now, Homer, listen, I've had enough! In our family videos, we have plainly seen, you're a singing, dancing, entertainment machine.
- Bart: [singing] Mom was right, you're singing's a sin. You're a Les Misera-blay as Lee Marvi-Ahh!
- [Homer starts to strangle Bart.]
- Marge: [singing] Sure, your dad singing could make your hair curl. But you, too, Bart, have sung and danced like a girl.
- Bart: Eep.
- Lisa: [singing] That was pretty bad, Bart, but it could have been worse. You could have been carrying a sequined purse!
- Bart: [singing] I hate to dance, and prance, and sing. That's really more of a Milhouse thing!
- Marge: [singing] I think you move like a young Baryshnikov!
- [Snake jumps in through the window and points a shotgun at the family]
- Snake: [singing] Ha, nobody move, or I'll blow your heads off!
- [Snake holds the family at gunpoint.]
- Marge: [singing] It's a desperate criminal, on the run from the law. Please, spare my children...
- Homer: [singing] And their damp-trousered pa!
- Snake: [singing] A singing family! it's worse than I feared. For hostage purposes, you're just too weird! [spoken] Bye!
- [Snake jumps back in through the window.]
- Snake: [singing] Because of you all, I got a tune in my head. And the only way to stop it is to make you all dead!
- Homer: Ugh, I knew I should have shut that window.
- Homer: [singing] All right, Marge! You've convinced me there are more terrible things than musical comedies where everyone sings!
- [Lisa, Maggie and Bart form a kick line.]
- Lisa: [singing] There is something worse!
- Bart: [singing] And it really does blow!
- Simpsons: [singing] When a long-running series does a cheesy clip show!
- Snake: [singing] I'm back to commit felonious assault. Because your infernal singing just would not halt!
- Marge: [spoken] Actually, we're done.
- Bart: [from now on, all spoken] Done, done.
- Marge: And not a moment too soon.
- Snake: Oh, okay then. Well, then I got no beef with you.
- [He jumps out the window.]
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