Difference between revisions of "My Sister, My Sitter/Quotes"
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{{qf|Homer}} The important thing is I didn't imagine it. | {{qf|Homer}} The important thing is I didn't imagine it. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :''[Lisa and Janey are in Lisa's bedroom reading the "Baby-Sitter Twins" books]'' | + | :''[Lisa and Janey are in Lisa's bedroom reading the "Baby-Sitter Twins" books.]'' |
{{qf|[[Janey]]}} I can't get enough of "The Baby Sitter Twins." They arrested the counterfeiters, rescued the President, and made 4 dollars. | {{qf|[[Janey]]}} I can't get enough of "The Baby Sitter Twins." They arrested the counterfeiters, rescued the President, and made 4 dollars. | ||
{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} I love everything about the world of babysitting. The responsibility, the obligations, the pressure... | {{qf|[[Lisa]]}} I love everything about the world of babysitting. The responsibility, the obligations, the pressure... | ||
| Line 23: | Line 23: | ||
{{qf|[[Rod]]}} We just move one space at a time. It's less fun that way. | {{qf|[[Rod]]}} We just move one space at a time. It's less fun that way. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | {{qf|Rod & Todd}} | + | {{qf|Rod & Todd}} ''[as a white moth flies from the game lid]'' Moth! Moth! Moth! Moth! Moth! Moth! ''[the boys run in horror as the moth chases them]'' |
{{qf|Lisa}} Don't worry. A moth is no more harmful than a ladybug. | {{qf|Lisa}} Don't worry. A moth is no more harmful than a ladybug. | ||
| − | {{qf|Rod & Todd}} A ladybug?! | + | {{qf|Rod & Todd}} A ladybug?! ''[screams and run upstairs]'' |
| − | {{qf|Lisa}} | + | {{qf|Lisa}} ''[sets the moth free out a window]'' Hmm. ''[sarcastically]'' They're going to get eaten alive in middle school. |
---- | ---- | ||
{{qf|Lisa}} ''[tucking in Rod]'' Once there was a robot named Todd. | {{qf|Lisa}} ''[tucking in Rod]'' Once there was a robot named Todd. | ||
| Line 45: | Line 45: | ||
{{qf|Bart}} You are so dead. | {{qf|Bart}} You are so dead. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :''[When Homer drives through the waterfront at the Squidport grand opening]'' | + | :''[When Homer drives through the waterfront at the [[Squidport]] grand opening']'' |
{{qf|Homer}} I love these pedestrian malls. There's practically no traffic. | {{qf|Homer}} I love these pedestrian malls. There's practically no traffic. | ||
{{qf|Marge}} Homer, I think you should stop. The mayor's yelling at us. | {{qf|Marge}} Homer, I think you should stop. The mayor's yelling at us. | ||
| Line 62: | Line 62: | ||
{{qf|Lisa}} Even babies know how to open and close their mouths. You need a bib. ''[straps a bib on Bart]'' | {{qf|Lisa}} Even babies know how to open and close their mouths. You need a bib. ''[straps a bib on Bart]'' | ||
{{qf|Bart}} Oh baby hate bib! Waah! Waah! ''[starts banging his spoon on Lisa's plate]'' | {{qf|Bart}} Oh baby hate bib! Waah! Waah! ''[starts banging his spoon on Lisa's plate]'' | ||
| − | :''[Maggie starts crying]'' | + | :''[Maggie starts crying.]'' |
{{qf|Lisa}} Oh, look, Bart! Now you got [[Maggie]] all upset! | {{qf|Lisa}} Oh, look, Bart! Now you got [[Maggie]] all upset! | ||
{{qf|Bart}} Relax, I'll give her some ice cream. ''[gives all his ice cream to Maggie; Maggie's eye pupil shrinks]'' | {{qf|Bart}} Relax, I'll give her some ice cream. ''[gives all his ice cream to Maggie; Maggie's eye pupil shrinks]'' | ||
| Line 69: | Line 69: | ||
{{qf|Bart}} Well, at least that'll make things more interesting for you, now won't it? | {{qf|Bart}} Well, at least that'll make things more interesting for you, now won't it? | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | {{qf|Marge}} Ooh, it's so beautiful! This is what I imagine Paris must be like. | + | {{qf|Marge}} Ooh, it's so beautiful! This is what I imagine [[Paris]] must be like. |
{{qf|Homer}} You've never been? | {{qf|Homer}} You've never been? | ||
| − | {{qf|Marge}} I'm so honored that Springfield has been chosen to host to all these upscale chain stores. I guess that makes us yuppies, huh, Homie? | + | {{qf|Marge}} I'm so honored that [[Springfield]] has been chosen to host to all these upscale chain stores. I guess that makes us yuppies, huh, Homie? |
{{qf|Homer}} Ehh. I'm really more of a slacker. | {{qf|Homer}} Ehh. I'm really more of a slacker. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | {{qf|[[Rainier Wolfcastle]]}} ''[at the opening of "Planet Hype]'' It's true! The entire menu was personally approved by my secretary. | + | {{qf|[[Rainier Wolfcastle]]}} ''[at the opening of "[[Planet Hype]]"]'' It's true! The entire menu was personally approved by my secretary. |
---- | ---- | ||
{{qf|Tourist}} Hey, this isn't faux dive. This is a dive. | {{qf|Tourist}} Hey, this isn't faux dive. This is a dive. | ||
{{qf|[[Moe]]}} You're a long way from home, yuppie boy. I'll start a tab. | {{qf|[[Moe]]}} You're a long way from home, yuppie boy. I'll start a tab. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :''[Lisa is trying to get a hyper Maggie down off of the shower curtain rod]'' | + | :''[Lisa is trying to get a hyper Maggie down off of the shower curtain rod.]'' |
{{qf|Lisa}} ''[to Maggie]'' Maggie, If you come down, I'll give you some more coffee! Lots more coffee! ''[calls from upstairs]'' Are you getting ready for bed, Bart? | {{qf|Lisa}} ''[to Maggie]'' Maggie, If you come down, I'll give you some more coffee! Lots more coffee! ''[calls from upstairs]'' Are you getting ready for bed, Bart? | ||
{{qf|Bart}} ''[from downstairs]'' I am! ''[on the phone in the TV room]'' That's right. I want the 25-foot Italian party sub. And don't skimp on the vinegar. ''[hangs up]'' It's time Lisa learned what babysitting Bart Simpson is all about. ''[dials someone else]'' Um, yes, I'd like to host an AA meeting? Tonight, if possible. | {{qf|Bart}} ''[from downstairs]'' I am! ''[on the phone in the TV room]'' That's right. I want the 25-foot Italian party sub. And don't skimp on the vinegar. ''[hangs up]'' It's time Lisa learned what babysitting Bart Simpson is all about. ''[dials someone else]'' Um, yes, I'd like to host an AA meeting? Tonight, if possible. | ||
| − | :''[Meanwhile, Hyper Maggie aims and plays with a bottle of Talcum Powder in her room]'' | + | :''[Meanwhile, Hyper Maggie aims and plays with a bottle of Talcum Powder in her room.]'' |
{{qf|Lisa}} Come on Maggie! Good Maggie! The talcum powder's not to play with! | {{qf|Lisa}} Come on Maggie! Good Maggie! The talcum powder's not to play with! | ||
:''[Maggie squeezes the bottle of Talcum Powder, which completly covers Lisa in Talcum Powder. She coughes, then groans.]'' | :''[Maggie squeezes the bottle of Talcum Powder, which completly covers Lisa in Talcum Powder. She coughes, then groans.]'' | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :''[Lisa drags Bart upstairs to put him to bed]'' | + | :''[Lisa drags Bart upstairs to put him to bed.]'' |
{{qf|Lisa}} Why do you have to make this so hard? | {{qf|Lisa}} Why do you have to make this so hard? | ||
{{qf|Bart}} I'm using nonviolent resistance. | {{qf|Bart}} I'm using nonviolent resistance. | ||
| Line 111: | Line 111: | ||
{{qf|Lisa}} ''[growls; twitches her eye]'' | {{qf|Lisa}} ''[growls; twitches her eye]'' | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :''[Lisa finds Bart jumping on her bed]'' | + | :''[Lisa finds Bart jumping on her bed.]'' |
{{qf|Bart}} You didn't say which bed! | {{qf|Bart}} You didn't say which bed! | ||
{{qf|Lisa}} Go to your bed! | {{qf|Lisa}} Go to your bed! | ||
| Line 118: | Line 118: | ||
{{qf|Bart}} If you want me, you gotta catch me! | {{qf|Bart}} If you want me, you gotta catch me! | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :''[Homer gets stuck in the water fountain floor and everyone laughs at him]'' | + | :''[Homer gets stuck in the water fountain floor and everyone laughs at him.]'' |
{{qf|Homer}} Don't laugh at me! I was once like you! | {{qf|Homer}} Don't laugh at me! I was once like you! | ||
---- | ---- | ||
:''[Lisa calls 911 after Bart is injured.]'' | :''[Lisa calls 911 after Bart is injured.]'' | ||
{{qf|Lisa}} Hello, this is Lisa Simpson and-- | {{qf|Lisa}} Hello, this is Lisa Simpson and-- | ||
| − | {{qf|911 Operator}} Simpson? Listen, we've already been out there tonight for a sisterectomy, a case of severe butt-rot, and a leprechaun fight! How dumb do you think we are? | + | {{qf|911 Operator}} Simpson? Listen, we've already been out there tonight for a sisterectomy, a case of severe butt-rot, and a leprechaun fight! How dumb do you think we are? ''[hangs up]'' |
---- | ---- | ||
{{qf|[[Chief Wiggum]]}} ''[in Lisa's dream]'' The boy was studying quietly, when the girl, drunk on her own sense of power, beat him silly with a block of frozen lima beans. | {{qf|[[Chief Wiggum]]}} ''[in Lisa's dream]'' The boy was studying quietly, when the girl, drunk on her own sense of power, beat him silly with a block of frozen lima beans. | ||
| Line 135: | Line 135: | ||
{{qf|[[Comic Book Guy]]}} Oooh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix | {{qf|[[Comic Book Guy]]}} Oooh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :''[Lisa is stopped by Chief Wiggum as she tries to wheelbarrow Bart to the hospital]'' | + | :''[Lisa is stopped by Chief Wiggum as she tries to wheelbarrow Bart to the hospital.]'' |
{{qf|Chief Wiggum}} Hold it right there. ''[gets out his car]'' Well, if it isn't Springfield's finest little babysitter, Lisa Simpson! | {{qf|Chief Wiggum}} Hold it right there. ''[gets out his car]'' Well, if it isn't Springfield's finest little babysitter, Lisa Simpson! | ||
{{qf|Lisa}} Hi! How are you? | {{qf|Lisa}} Hi! How are you? | ||
| Line 145: | Line 145: | ||
---- | ---- | ||
{{qf|Mayor Quimby}} Citizens of Springfield, I officially declare this... what the hell is that?! ''[sees Lisa with Bart in the wheelbarrow]'' | {{qf|Mayor Quimby}} Citizens of Springfield, I officially declare this... what the hell is that?! ''[sees Lisa with Bart in the wheelbarrow]'' | ||
| − | {{qf|[[ | + | {{qf|[[Principal Skinner]]}} Why, it's Lisa Simpson! And look what she's doing!? |
:''[Lisa is shown with Bart's muddy body in the wheelbarrow with Maggie in the cat carrier as well.]'' | :''[Lisa is shown with Bart's muddy body in the wheelbarrow with Maggie in the cat carrier as well.]'' | ||
{{qf|[[Maude Flanders]]}} She's murdered her brother! | {{qf|[[Maude Flanders]]}} She's murdered her brother! | ||
{{qf|[[Lenny]]}} And she's trying to dump the body in the harbor! | {{qf|[[Lenny]]}} And she's trying to dump the body in the harbor! | ||
{{qf|[[Otto]]}} Well, duh! | {{qf|[[Otto]]}} Well, duh! | ||
| − | {{qf|Sideshow Mel}} And, as a grim finale, she intends to drown that poor caged baby! | + | {{qf|[[Sideshow Mel]]}} And, as a grim finale, she intends to drown that poor caged baby! |
{{qf|Lisa}} ''[shields her eyes from the light; wobbly]'' What's happening? Where am I?? | {{qf|Lisa}} ''[shields her eyes from the light; wobbly]'' What's happening? Where am I?? | ||
{{qf|[[Helen Lovejoy]]}} And she's on drugs! | {{qf|[[Helen Lovejoy]]}} And she's on drugs! | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :''[The next day, Lisa is lying on her bed and Bart comes in, wearing a cast on his arm]'' | + | :''[The next day, Lisa is lying on her bed and Bart comes in, wearing a cast on his arm.]'' |
{{qf|Lisa}} Hey, Bart. How's your arm? | {{qf|Lisa}} Hey, Bart. How's your arm? | ||
{{qf|Bart}} It's all right. I was hoping they'd give me one of those steel claws, but what are you gonna do... | {{qf|Bart}} It's all right. I was hoping they'd give me one of those steel claws, but what are you gonna do... | ||
| Line 163: | Line 163: | ||
{{qf|Lisa}} Ohh. | {{qf|Lisa}} Ohh. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :''[ | + | :''[The phone rings; Lisa picks up.]'' |
{{qf|Lisa}} Hello. World's worst babysitter speaking. | {{qf|Lisa}} Hello. World's worst babysitter speaking. | ||
{{qf|[[Dr. Hibbert]]}} Lisa! I'm glad I reached you. Are you available to babysit tonight? | {{qf|[[Dr. Hibbert]]}} Lisa! I'm glad I reached you. Are you available to babysit tonight? | ||
| Line 172: | Line 172: | ||
{{qf|Lisa}} Didn't you hear I almost killed my brother? | {{qf|Lisa}} Didn't you hear I almost killed my brother? | ||
{{qf|Ned}} You did? Just a minute. ''[long pause]'' What time can you come over? | {{qf|Ned}} You did? Just a minute. ''[long pause]'' What time can you come over? | ||
| − | |||
{{Season 8|Q}} | {{Season 8|Q}} | ||
Latest revision as of 10:58, May 13, 2021
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- Marge: Ooh, that sounds fabulous, Homer. Stores throw the best parties.
- Homer: You like parties, huh? Well, I just remembered they're having a big one down at the waterfront this weekend.
- Marge: You didn't remember that. You just saw it on TV.
- Homer: The important thing is I didn't imagine it.
- [Lisa and Janey are in Lisa's bedroom reading the "Baby-Sitter Twins" books.]
- Janey: I can't get enough of "The Baby Sitter Twins." They arrested the counterfeiters, rescued the President, and made 4 dollars.
- Lisa: I love everything about the world of babysitting. The responsibility, the obligations, the pressure...
- Janey: And full refrigerator privileges!
- Lisa: That's a trust, Janey. A sacred trust.
- Janey: Geez. Lighten up, Lisa.
- Reverend Lovejoy: Friday, you will have the chance to [waves his hands] party down in the church basement to the Jesus rock stylings of Testaments. That's on Friday, 6:00 PM sharp.
- Bart: [scoffs] All the best bands are affiliated with Satan.
- Lisa: But I'm very mature for my age. People often mistake me for 9!
- Lisa: Where are the dice?
- Todd: Daddy says dice are wicked.
- Rod: We just move one space at a time. It's less fun that way.
- Rod & Todd: [as a white moth flies from the game lid] Moth! Moth! Moth! Moth! Moth! Moth! [the boys run in horror as the moth chases them]
- Lisa: Don't worry. A moth is no more harmful than a ladybug.
- Rod & Todd: A ladybug?! [screams and run upstairs]
- Lisa: [sets the moth free out a window] Hmm. [sarcastically] They're going to get eaten alive in middle school.
- Lisa: [tucking in Rod] Once there was a robot named Todd.
- Todd: Did he have a brother?
- Lisa: Yes, he had a brother named Rod, who was two space years older than him.
- Todd: [frightened, pulls up his blanket] I don't like this story!
- Bart: You made all that money for sitting around and watching TV and eating food?
- Lisa: There's a lot more to it than that, Bart. I don't just babysit. I sell peace of mind for a dollar an hour. Two dollars after 9 o'clock.
- Bart: [complimenting Homer's outfit] You could be Abe Lincoln's father's boss!
- Homer: [to Bart when he finds out Lisa's his babysitter] Take it like a man, boy, and do everything your sister says.
- Lisa: Bart, I know you're not wild about having me for a babysitter, but I'm not some ogre. I think you will find me fair and fun.
- Bart: You're dead.
- Lisa: You should wash up for dinner. To make it fun, you can use the Mr. Bubbles. It'll be like giving your fingers a bubble bath.
- Bart: You are so dead.
- [When Homer drives through the waterfront at the Squidport grand opening']
- Homer: I love these pedestrian malls. There's practically no traffic.
- Marge: Homer, I think you should stop. The mayor's yelling at us.
- Mayor Quimby: [shouts] Stop! You idiots!
- Bart: May I have some more lima beans, please?
- Lisa: Certainly. [gives him a few lima beans]
- Bart: More than that.
- Lisa: Certainly. [gives him more lima beans]
- Bart: More. [gives him more] More. [gives him more; Bart has a small pile of lima beans on his plate] More.
- Lisa: Uh, maybe you should eat the ones you have.
- Bart: I didn't say I was gonna eat them. I just want to look at them because they're so gross. [pushes his plate away]
- Lisa: Bart, if you don't want to have a babysitter, maybe you should stop being such a baby.
- Bart: Oh, I'm a baby, huh? Well then I'll act like a baby. [takes a huge bite of his chocolate ice cream] [it spills onto his shirt; he fills his cheeks with ice cream and his lips are covered in chocolate] Ga-ga goo-goo!
- Lisa: Even babies know how to open and close their mouths. You need a bib. [straps a bib on Bart]
- Bart: Oh baby hate bib! Waah! Waah! [starts banging his spoon on Lisa's plate]
- [Maggie starts crying.]
- Lisa: Oh, look, Bart! Now you got Maggie all upset!
- Bart: Relax, I'll give her some ice cream. [gives all his ice cream to Maggie; Maggie's eye pupil shrinks]
- Lisa: Bart, that's coffee ice cream. It has caffeine in it!!
- [Maggie starts twitching her head and body hyperactively]
- Bart: Well, at least that'll make things more interesting for you, now won't it?
- Marge: Ooh, it's so beautiful! This is what I imagine Paris must be like.
- Homer: You've never been?
- Marge: I'm so honored that Springfield has been chosen to host to all these upscale chain stores. I guess that makes us yuppies, huh, Homie?
- Homer: Ehh. I'm really more of a slacker.
- Rainier Wolfcastle: [at the opening of "Planet Hype"] It's true! The entire menu was personally approved by my secretary.
- Tourist: Hey, this isn't faux dive. This is a dive.
- Moe: You're a long way from home, yuppie boy. I'll start a tab.
- [Lisa is trying to get a hyper Maggie down off of the shower curtain rod.]
- Lisa: [to Maggie] Maggie, If you come down, I'll give you some more coffee! Lots more coffee! [calls from upstairs] Are you getting ready for bed, Bart?
- Bart: [from downstairs] I am! [on the phone in the TV room] That's right. I want the 25-foot Italian party sub. And don't skimp on the vinegar. [hangs up] It's time Lisa learned what babysitting Bart Simpson is all about. [dials someone else] Um, yes, I'd like to host an AA meeting? Tonight, if possible.
- [Meanwhile, Hyper Maggie aims and plays with a bottle of Talcum Powder in her room.]
- Lisa: Come on Maggie! Good Maggie! The talcum powder's not to play with!
- [Maggie squeezes the bottle of Talcum Powder, which completly covers Lisa in Talcum Powder. She coughes, then groans.]
- [Lisa drags Bart upstairs to put him to bed.]
- Lisa: Why do you have to make this so hard?
- Bart: I'm using nonviolent resistance.
- Lisa: Ugh, the idea that you would compare yourself to Mahatma Gandhi...
- Bart: Who?
- Krusty the Clown: Well, I'm not leaving 'til I get paid. I get five hundred just for "Hey hey!"
- Air Force Officer: We got a report that a Lisa Simpson spotted a UFO.
- Lisa: I didn't see any UFO!
- Air Force Officer: That's right, miss. You didn't.
- Chauffeur: I'm here to pick up the Ambassador from Ghana.
- Lisa: Well he's not here! Nobody's here! And none of you should be here!! You've all been tricked!
- Chauffeur: Why would the Ambassador do such a thing?
- [Lisa goes into the kitchen, she sees Bart eating bread.]
- Lisa: I thought I told you to go to bed!
- Bart: Yeah right, bread. You said: go to bread.
- Lisa: [clenching her teeth] I said, go to bed!
- Bart: Yeah. Go to bread.
- Lisa: B-E-D! BED!
- Bart: Ohhhhh, bed! Ohh! Anything you say, sis!
- Lisa: [growls; twitches her eye]
- [Lisa finds Bart jumping on her bed.]
- Bart: You didn't say which bed!
- Lisa: Go to your bed!
- Bart: Make me.
- Lisa: I'll make you! [lunges after him; Bart leaps off the bed]
- Bart: If you want me, you gotta catch me!
- [Homer gets stuck in the water fountain floor and everyone laughs at him.]
- Homer: Don't laugh at me! I was once like you!
- [Lisa calls 911 after Bart is injured.]
- Lisa: Hello, this is Lisa Simpson and--
- 911 Operator: Simpson? Listen, we've already been out there tonight for a sisterectomy, a case of severe butt-rot, and a leprechaun fight! How dumb do you think we are? [hangs up]
- Chief Wiggum: [in Lisa's dream] The boy was studying quietly, when the girl, drunk on her own sense of power, beat him silly with a block of frozen lima beans.
- [Lisa loads Bart into a wheelbarrow to take him to Dr. Nick's office.]
- Lisa: Don't worry, Bart. Everything's gonna be just fine. I'm gonna get you to a doctor, [puts Maggie in the barrow] he will fix you up, and by this time tomorrow, we'll all be a happy family. [nervously] Happy, happy, happy family. [Maggie is restless and playing around with Bart's face] Maaaggie!! [Lisa looks around and eyes the cat carrier; scene shows Maggie in the cat carrier]
- Snake: Yo, um, I must've, like, fell on a bullet, and it, like, drove itself into my gut.
- Dr. Nick': Hey, don't worry. You don't have to make up stories here. Save that for court!
- Comic Book Guy: Oooh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix
- [Lisa is stopped by Chief Wiggum as she tries to wheelbarrow Bart to the hospital.]
- Chief Wiggum: Hold it right there. [gets out his car] Well, if it isn't Springfield's finest little babysitter, Lisa Simpson!
- Lisa: Hi! How are you?
- Chief Wiggum: Um, I'm fine. Now, Lisa, when you're walking down the side of the road, always wanna be sure to go with traffic, okay? Well... is that with traffic, or against traffic? No, it's with traffic. With traffic. Anyway, good night.
- Lisa: Whew.
- Chief Wiggum: Uh, hold on a minute! Let me have a look at that wheelbarrow, please.
- Lisa: Okay.
- Chief Wiggum: Just as I thought! It's a Yard King! That is a quality barrow. Well, I gotta run.
- Mayor Quimby: Citizens of Springfield, I officially declare this... what the hell is that?! [sees Lisa with Bart in the wheelbarrow]
- Principal Skinner: Why, it's Lisa Simpson! And look what she's doing!?
- [Lisa is shown with Bart's muddy body in the wheelbarrow with Maggie in the cat carrier as well.]
- Maude Flanders: She's murdered her brother!
- Lenny: And she's trying to dump the body in the harbor!
- Otto: Well, duh!
- Sideshow Mel: And, as a grim finale, she intends to drown that poor caged baby!
- Lisa: [shields her eyes from the light; wobbly] What's happening? Where am I??
- Helen Lovejoy: And she's on drugs!
- [The next day, Lisa is lying on her bed and Bart comes in, wearing a cast on his arm.]
- Lisa: Hey, Bart. How's your arm?
- Bart: It's all right. I was hoping they'd give me one of those steel claws, but what are you gonna do...
- Lisa: Mm.
- Bart: I'm sorry I was such a jerk last night. Guess I sorta ruined your babysitting business.
- Lisa: Yeah, well, that's okay. I can always sell seeds. You want some seeds?
- Bart: No thanks.
- Lisa: Ohh.
- [The phone rings; Lisa picks up.]
- Lisa: Hello. World's worst babysitter speaking.
- Dr. Hibbert: Lisa! I'm glad I reached you. Are you available to babysit tonight?
- Lisa: Aren't you afraid I might take drugs and injure your children?
- Dr. Hibbert: Yes, that is a concern, but it's so hard to find a sitter, and I've got judo tonight!
- Lisa: Um, okay, I'm sorry, can you hold on, please? [takes another call] Hello?
- Ned: Lisa, Ned Flanders. You available tonight?
- Lisa: Didn't you hear I almost killed my brother?
- Ned: You did? Just a minute. [long pause] What time can you come over?
