Difference between revisions of "The Seemingly Never-Ending Story/Quotes"
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{{TabQ}} | {{TabQ}} | ||
| − | {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|My Fair Laddy|Bart Has Two Mommies | + | {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|My Fair Laddy|Bart Has Two Mommies}} |
| − | |||
| − | + | {{qf|[[Homer]]}} Our god made their god. | |
| − | + | ---- | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} Save me, Tsisnajini! | |
| − | + | ---- | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Lisa]]}} Mad beast! | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Burns]]}} Liberal midget! | |
| − | + | ---- | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[The Rich Texan]]}} ''[after The Rich Texan douses Mr. Burns' head with crude oil]'' Back in Houston, we call that a "Fort Worth Shampoo"! | |
| − | + | ---- | |
| − | + | {{qf|The Rich Texan}} ''[emerging from the shadows holding a revolver]'' I'll take the gold iffin' ya please! | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Marge]]}} How can you take it? We haven't even found it. | |
| − | + | {{qf|The Rich Texan}} It's right behind the rock on the left. No, your left. "Texas" Left, which is your down. | |
| − | + | :''[Marge holds up the bag.]'' | |
| − | + | {{qf|The Rich Texan}} I'll take the gold iffin' ya please! | |
| − | + | {{qf|Burns}} ''[emerging from behind a thin stalactite holding a derringer]'' Not so fast, Shady Bird Johnson! I'll take that gold! | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Moe]]}} ''[emerging from the shadows holding a baseball bat]'' Yeah, y'all take the gold and then you'll give it to me if ya know what's good for ya. | |
| − | + | :''[Burns and The Rich Texan aim their guns at Moe.]'' | |
| − | + | {{qf|Moe}} ''[nervous]'' You guys got guns? ''[retreats to the shadows]'' Uh, yeah, me too. ''[makes the sound of cocking a shotgun]'' Huh? Huh? | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Snake]]}} Coolest entrance gets the gold! ''[goes down a rope like James Bond]'' I hope it's okay that I brought my son. Today's my day with him. ''[points to Bart]'' Look, Jeremy. There's a boy you can play with. | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Jeremy Jailbird|Jeremy]]}} ''[to Bart]'' You like Xbox? | |
| − | + | ---- | |
| − | + | {{qf|Burns}} I had to start up from the bottom to get my fortune back. And to get to the bottom, I had to work my way up from Moe's. | |
| − | + | ---- | |
| − | + | {{qf|The Rich Texan}} YEE-HAW! I'm gonna win me a nuclear plant! | |
| − | + | {{qf|Mr. Burns}} Dream on, bitch. | |
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Carl]]}} ''[to Burns]'' Hey barboy, write a play where I meet Henry Ford and Captain Kirk! | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|The Rich Texan}} YEE-HAW! Moe can't catch a break! 1-2-3-4! Can't catch a break! 1-2-3-4! Can't catch a break! | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|The Rich Texan}} Howdy! What's your business, boy?! | ||
| + | {{qf|Burns}} Nuclear power. I make money using my brain, not sticking a pole in the ground and praying for goo. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|The Rich Texan}} ''[after Burns gives him the gold]'' Okay. I'll give you back all your worldly possessions, exceptin' this here nu-clear plant, until you give me a picture of yourself with a smilin' child! | ||
| + | {{qf|Burns}} What the hell could that possibly mean to you? | ||
| + | {{qf|The Rich Texan}} I'm obsessive compulsive! ''[firing his pistols]'' Ye-haw! ''[tapping his foot]'' 1-2-3-4! ''[firing his pistols]''Ye-haw! ''[tapping his foot]'' 1-2-3-4! ''[firing his pistols]'' Ye-haw! ''[tapping his foot]'' 1-2-3-4! ''[firing his pistols]'' Ye-haw! :''[tapping his foot]'' 1-2-3-4! | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Moe}} ''[retelling the story of his tragic romance with Edna]'' I was the happiest guy in the world, but fate likes to play a little game called 'Up Yours, Moe.' | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Moe}} Fate gave me an awful dilemma — should I rob the guy or rob him ''and'' kill him? | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Moe}} ''[telling his story]'' I knew that in order to keep Edna, I'd have to get rid of the human garbage otherwise known as "my friends". | ||
| + | :''[Throws out Barney, then [[Lenny]] and Carl, then Barney again, then Homer, then gets ready to throw out Barney again.]'' | ||
| + | {{qf|Moe}} Barney, how do you keep getting back in here? | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Barney]]}} I'm a drunk. I don't know nothin' 'bout how I do anything. | ||
| + | :''[Moe throws Barney out again and then Barney is back in the bar, behind Moe.]'' | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Moe}} ''[to Homer, Barney, Lenny and Carl]'' Listen Boozebags! I got a good thing going here. If you mess it up I will out the one of you who is gay! | ||
| + | :''[The drunks then run off in a flamboyant fashion.]'' | ||
| + | {{qf|Moe}} ''[to Edna]'' Now, where were we? ''[they resume kissing]'' | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Snake}} I've been robbed! I'll take my revenge on society... by which I mean convenience stores! And who would suspect me, Professor Jailbird! | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Moe}} I didn't want the gold, so I just kept playing our song on the jukebox one... | ||
| + | {{qf|Burns}} ''[reading letter]'' ...one gold coin at a time. ''[looks at jukebox]'' Oh, you poor man. You're about to get poorer. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Burns}} ''[voice over]'' I steamed open the letter using Moe's cappuccino machine. | ||
| + | {{qf|Moe}} ''[in letter]'' If you are reading this, I am dead and I shall tell you the story about my treasure. | ||
| + | {{qf|Burns}} ''[reading letter]'' Treasure?! | ||
| + | {{qf|Lisa}} ''[in flashback]'' Treasure?! | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} Moe has a cappuccino machine?! | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Professor Snake Jailbird}} So, I'm excavating this Mayan pyramid and I came across these coins and I was all like "Could you be any more pre-Columbian?" | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Burns}} ''[voiceover]'' At 5.15 an hour, I knew it would take an eternity to get my fortune back. And Fica wasn't helping! But for once, things went ''my'' way! | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Skinner]]}} ''[after hearing Bart's story/excuse]'' Bart, that story is the biggest load of cra...bappel?!? Making out with Moe?!? ''[he sees Moe and Edna making out outside his office window]'' | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Keypad to Safe Room}} Enter password. | ||
| + | {{qf|Burns}} Dammit I forget. | ||
| + | {{qf|Keypad}} Forgot password? Enter place of birth. | ||
| + | {{qf|Burns}} Pangaea. | ||
| + | {{qf|Keypad}} Correct. Your password has been emailed to you. | ||
| + | {{qf|Burns}} D'oh. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Martin]]}} ''[attached to a kite being flown by Nelson]'' Lab partners don't treat lab partners like this! | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Nelson]]}} Shut up and attract lightning! | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} Wait a minute. You're telling Moe's story in Burns' story in your story? | ||
| + | {{qf|Lisa}} Yes, dad. It's like a play inside of a play, like Hamlet. | ||
| + | :''[Homer looks at her puzzled.]'' | ||
| + | {{qf|Lisa}} Fine, it's like you watching a home movie of you watching TV. | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} ''[understanding]'' Oh yeah. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} ''[after falling down the hole in the cave]'' I'm stuck, and I have to pee! ''[a few seconds later]'' Now I'm just stuck. | ||
{{Season 17|Q}} | {{Season 17|Q}} | ||
| − | {{DEFAULTSORT:Seemingly Never-Ending Story}} | + | {{DEFAULTSORT:Seemingly Never-Ending Story/Quotes, The}} |
Latest revision as of 09:06, August 25, 2022
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- Homer: Our god made their god.
- Homer: Save me, Tsisnajini!
- The Rich Texan: [after The Rich Texan douses Mr. Burns' head with crude oil] Back in Houston, we call that a "Fort Worth Shampoo"!
- The Rich Texan: [emerging from the shadows holding a revolver] I'll take the gold iffin' ya please!
- Marge: How can you take it? We haven't even found it.
- The Rich Texan: It's right behind the rock on the left. No, your left. "Texas" Left, which is your down.
- [Marge holds up the bag.]
- The Rich Texan: I'll take the gold iffin' ya please!
- Burns: [emerging from behind a thin stalactite holding a derringer] Not so fast, Shady Bird Johnson! I'll take that gold!
- Moe: [emerging from the shadows holding a baseball bat] Yeah, y'all take the gold and then you'll give it to me if ya know what's good for ya.
- [Burns and The Rich Texan aim their guns at Moe.]
- Moe: [nervous] You guys got guns? [retreats to the shadows] Uh, yeah, me too. [makes the sound of cocking a shotgun] Huh? Huh?
- Snake: Coolest entrance gets the gold! [goes down a rope like James Bond] I hope it's okay that I brought my son. Today's my day with him. [points to Bart] Look, Jeremy. There's a boy you can play with.
- Jeremy: [to Bart] You like Xbox?
- Burns: I had to start up from the bottom to get my fortune back. And to get to the bottom, I had to work my way up from Moe's.
- The Rich Texan: YEE-HAW! I'm gonna win me a nuclear plant!
- Mr. Burns: Dream on, bitch.
- Carl: [to Burns] Hey barboy, write a play where I meet Henry Ford and Captain Kirk!
- The Rich Texan: YEE-HAW! Moe can't catch a break! 1-2-3-4! Can't catch a break! 1-2-3-4! Can't catch a break!
- The Rich Texan: Howdy! What's your business, boy?!
- Burns: Nuclear power. I make money using my brain, not sticking a pole in the ground and praying for goo.
- The Rich Texan: [after Burns gives him the gold] Okay. I'll give you back all your worldly possessions, exceptin' this here nu-clear plant, until you give me a picture of yourself with a smilin' child!
- Burns: What the hell could that possibly mean to you?
- The Rich Texan: I'm obsessive compulsive! [firing his pistols] Ye-haw! [tapping his foot] 1-2-3-4! [firing his pistols]Ye-haw! [tapping his foot] 1-2-3-4! [firing his pistols] Ye-haw! [tapping his foot] 1-2-3-4! [firing his pistols] Ye-haw! :[tapping his foot] 1-2-3-4!
- Moe: [retelling the story of his tragic romance with Edna] I was the happiest guy in the world, but fate likes to play a little game called 'Up Yours, Moe.'
- Moe: Fate gave me an awful dilemma — should I rob the guy or rob him and kill him?
- Moe: [telling his story] I knew that in order to keep Edna, I'd have to get rid of the human garbage otherwise known as "my friends".
- [Throws out Barney, then Lenny and Carl, then Barney again, then Homer, then gets ready to throw out Barney again.]
- Moe: Barney, how do you keep getting back in here?
- Barney: I'm a drunk. I don't know nothin' 'bout how I do anything.
- [Moe throws Barney out again and then Barney is back in the bar, behind Moe.]
- Moe: [to Homer, Barney, Lenny and Carl] Listen Boozebags! I got a good thing going here. If you mess it up I will out the one of you who is gay!
- [The drunks then run off in a flamboyant fashion.]
- Moe: [to Edna] Now, where were we? [they resume kissing]
- Snake: I've been robbed! I'll take my revenge on society... by which I mean convenience stores! And who would suspect me, Professor Jailbird!
- Moe: I didn't want the gold, so I just kept playing our song on the jukebox one...
- Burns: [reading letter] ...one gold coin at a time. [looks at jukebox] Oh, you poor man. You're about to get poorer.
- Burns: [voice over] I steamed open the letter using Moe's cappuccino machine.
- Moe: [in letter] If you are reading this, I am dead and I shall tell you the story about my treasure.
- Burns: [reading letter] Treasure?!
- Lisa: [in flashback] Treasure?!
- Homer: Moe has a cappuccino machine?!
- Professor Snake Jailbird: So, I'm excavating this Mayan pyramid and I came across these coins and I was all like "Could you be any more pre-Columbian?"
- Burns: [voiceover] At 5.15 an hour, I knew it would take an eternity to get my fortune back. And Fica wasn't helping! But for once, things went my way!
- Skinner: [after hearing Bart's story/excuse] Bart, that story is the biggest load of cra...bappel?!? Making out with Moe?!? [he sees Moe and Edna making out outside his office window]
- Keypad to Safe Room: Enter password.
- Burns: Dammit I forget.
- Keypad: Forgot password? Enter place of birth.
- Burns: Pangaea.
- Keypad: Correct. Your password has been emailed to you.
- Burns: D'oh.
- Martin: [attached to a kite being flown by Nelson] Lab partners don't treat lab partners like this!
- Nelson: Shut up and attract lightning!
- Homer: Wait a minute. You're telling Moe's story in Burns' story in your story?
- Lisa: Yes, dad. It's like a play inside of a play, like Hamlet.
- [Homer looks at her puzzled.]
- Lisa: Fine, it's like you watching a home movie of you watching TV.
- Homer: [understanding] Oh yeah.
- Homer: [after falling down the hole in the cave] I'm stuck, and I have to pee! [a few seconds later] Now I'm just stuck.
