She of Little Faith/Quotes
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- Chet Manners: [on TV] Hi, I'm Colonel Chet Manners, five-time space shuttle alternate.
- Bart: Lo-ser.
- Chet Manners: [on TV] Do you want to boldly go where people like me, but not me, have gone before? Then get the Orbit King—with yaw control like you've never seen!
- Bart: Hey Lis, is Dad's credit card number 5784365343410709?
- Lisa: You know it is.
- Milhouse Van Houten: I didn't know your dad was so interested in science.
- Homer: [alarmed] Science!?
- Bart: Uh, he didn't say "science." He said "pie pants."
- Homer: Mmm, pie pants.
- Ned Flanders: Greetings from Nedily Space Center on Cape Flandaveral. We noticed your sky-ro-technics and thought we'd join in. Ooh, looks like a perfect landing!
- Milhouse: Wow, did you see that yaw control?
- Homer: [bitter] I have eyes, don't I?
- Homer: Now all we need is our astronaut. Bart, where's America's newest hero?
- Bart: He's saying goodbye to his wife.
- Marge: [sadly] Oh, he's leaving her with five babies.
- Bart: She already ate three.
- Marge: Oh, that's sensible.
- Homer: Son, we are about to break the surly bonds of gravity and punch the face of God.
- Reverend Lovejoy: People, we need some fund-raising ideas.
- Marge: Let's just write to David Bowie again.
- Reverend Lovejoy: Oh, he's done enough for this church. Anyone else?
- Mr. Burns: I've got the answer. Just let me run this church like a business.
- Ned: It's kind of you to offer, Mr. Burns, but buzz around town is that you're, well, evil.
- Mr. Burns: Oh, that's just a skip-rope rhyme. Believe me, the Lord's gonna go for this in a big way. Now, who's with me?
- Lindsey Naegle: I guarantee I can find some new revenue streams. Step one: let's sell some ad space. Reverend, how would you feel about wearing this robe?
- Reverend Lovejoy: Hmmm. Conflicted.
- Mr. Burns: Too bad. You've already signed the deal!
- Lindsey Naegle: Actually, he hasn't.
- Mr. Burns: Oh. Well, we highly value your input. Until you sign the deal!
- Reverend Lovejoy: ...and Lord, please let us remember our infirm parishioners, especially Ms. Glick who is recovering from hip surgery. And now let us rise and... um... hmm...
- Lindsey Naegle: He's not gonna say it.
- Mr. Burns: Trust me, he'll say it or I'll bust him down to Thursday night vespers.
- Reverend Lovejoy: ...and thank Crazy Larry, whose Big-Screen TV prices are insane-ane-ane! And now to deliver a special sermon on the sanctity of deliciousness... the Noid!
- Lisa: That's it!
- Homer: Lisa, everyone in the store is looking at you.
- Lisa: They should take a good look at themselves, and what their church has become.
- Reverend Lovejoy: Lisa, it's still the same basic message, we've just dressed it up a little.
- Lisa: Like the Whore of Babylon?
- Reverend Lovejoy: That is a false analogy
- Lisa: No it's not. It's apt. APT! Don't you see what Mr. Burns has done to this church?
- Sideshow Mel: He restored it from nave to narthex!
- Comic Book Guy: He super-sized the pews for the zaftig believers.
- Patty: He put ice in the urinals.
- Lisa: Those are all wonderful things, but they've cost the church its soul, and I for one will not be a part of it.
- Marge: Oh honey, I'm worried about your soul. I want at least one person from this family to go to Heaven.
- Lisa: I still believe in God. I just think there's another path to Him, or Her.
- Marge: Her?! She's just kidding, Mr. Lord.
- Lisa: Lenny and Carl? You guys are Buddhists?
- Carl Carlson: Oh yeah, if I didn't have inner peace, I'd completely go psycho on all you guys all the time.
- Richard Gere: It's a good thing Buddhism teaches freedom from desire. 'Cause I've got the desire to kick your ass.
- Lenny Leonard: I dream about meatball sandwiches. All you can eat for two bucks.
- Richard Gere: Good luck.
- Ned: My Satan sense is tingling! Into the root cellar, boys!
- Todd Flanders: When can we come out?
- Ned: Maybe never.
- Rod and Todd: Yayyy!
- Homer: So, you think you know better than this family, huh. Well, as long as you're in my house, you'll do what I do and believe what I believe. So butter your bacon!
- Bart: Yes, father.
- Lisa: Mom, Dad, my spiritual quest is over...
- Homer: Hold that thought. Bacon up that sausage, boy.
- Bart: But Dad, my heart hurts.
- Marge: Ah. Well, you do have a present under the tree. I guess no one told Santa you were a Buddhist.
- Lisa: Well, Santa can take it back because I'm not ruled by material desi—Is that a pony?
- Homer: I don't know what Santa left you. I just know his name is Clip-Clop and he loves sugar.
- Marge: Lisa, we love you and we're not trying to put any pressure on you. [places Maggie on the floor and has her walk towards Lisa]
- Maggie: [gestures a candy cane in front of Lisa]
- Lisa: Aww...
- Reverend Lovejoy: Lick it! Lick it!
- Lisa:[angrily] No!
- Marge: Oh no, our daughter's run away on Christmas Eve...
- Ralph Wiggum: More sugar please!
- Homer: Bag's in the kitchen.
- Milhouse: [excitedly] All right!
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