One of Bart's prank calls in progress.
Bart's Prank Calls occur when Bart Simpson makes a prank phone call to someone, usually Moe. Occasionally other people are involved as well.
Moe is the frequent target of Bart's prank phone calls. Usually Bart calls Moe's Tavern and asks for an individual by his or her name. Unbeknownst to Moe, the name is a pun or double entendre, which Bart hides by saying the last name first when he tells Moe who he's calling for. The joke is revealed when Moe calls the person's name aloud, saying their first name (or initials) first, and the last name last.
Sometimes Bart plays his pranks by methods other than over the phone, but the general idea is the same.
||A man to hug and kiss.
||Bart played the prank in order to ruin Jimbo Jones's date with Laura Powers. When Moe realized it was a prank and demanded to know who was calling, Bart told him Jimbo's name and the address where he and Laura were having their date. Moe ran to the house and burst in brandishing a knife, effectively ending the date.
||I wanna tinkle.
||Laura Powers actually made this prank call, with help from Bart.
||Backfired, because there really was a person in the bar named Hugh Jass.
||I need a bath.
||Roll-call prank. Moe was substitute-teaching in Bart's class. Bart added the prank names to the list of students in the class, and when Moe called the roll, the effect was the same as when he calls out the names in the bar.
||My butt reeks.
||Another roll-call prank, as above.
||I pee freely.
||This prank was later reused by drunken fraternity boys in a prank call to Kent Brockman about a fight in Springfield involving a giant lizard. Brockman didn't realize he'd been had until he said the caller's name on the air.
||The show's first prank call.
||All of her clothes off.
||See more butts.
||Bart played this prank when he was in Principal Skinner's office and was supposed to call Homer. When Homer misunderstood the situation, he suspected that Skinner was gay.
||The only prank call to be cut when the episode was edited to air in syndication, though was not cut when the clip was used in "Another Simpsons Clip Show". Later referenced again in "Dark Knight Court".
||B. O. problem.
||In this context, "B.O." is short for "body odor".
|Haywood U. Cuddleme
||Hey, would you cuddle me?
||The Simpsons were in a reality TV show where they were living with 19th-century technology, so Bart played the prank via telegraph (sending it in Morse code).
||I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.
||The prank took place in a dream when Bart had vast telekinetic powers and could make everyone do whatever he wanted -- including, in Moe's case, going along with a blindingly obvious prank call.
||You're a snotball.
||Homer actually attempted this prank. It backfired when Moe repeated the name while he was still on the phone and Homer thought Moe was trying to insult him.
||I'll eat a booger.
||Moe was away and Homer was tending the bar. Bart tried to prank Homer with this call. It backfired, however, when Homer immediately recognized the call as a prank and didn't understand what he was supposed to do.
||I made a doodie.
||Jack Bauer was the victim of this prank.
||My enormous butt.
||Bart played this prank while calling Hawaii on a stolen cell phone.
|Drew P. Wiener
||Bart played this prank while calling Australia on a stolen cell phone.
||All of my friends are gay.
||Bart played this prank while calling Sweden on a stolen cell phone.
||Not actually a prank call. Fat Tony was looking for his Russian associate Yuri and called Moe's to see if Yuri was in the bar. Then, to his bewilderment, Tony said, Moe started "lecturing me like I was some ten-year-old punk."
||I am a Wiener.
||Bart texted the prank to Moe via cell phone. In Moe's attempt to text an angry response, he accidentally donated $20 to Haiti.
||Not actually a prank call. Mr. Burns, who didn't know how to work a phone properly, attempted to call Smithers but called Moe's instead. Moe believed it was a prank call and threatened Mr. Burns.
||Do kiss me.
||Bart made the call from Principal Skinner's office. The police traced the call and arrested Skinner.
||I am still a wiener.
|Lee V. Mediately
||Bart made the call while on a plane to the island Wannasi. Moe responds with the threat that the caller will be his when Ma Bell offers Caller I.D..
||I want a butt to kiss.
||Lisa made the prank call while she was suffering from amnesia. Bart took advantage of her condition and told her that she was the "evil child", thus manipulating her into making the call.
|Stu Pidme for Ann Suring
||Stupid me for answering.
||A variation on the usual prank method, as Bart used both his claimed identity and the person he was calling for to make the pun. Also, Bart made the call while following Milhouse's tips on proper telephone etiquette. When Bart apologized for dialing the wrong number, Moe said it was the nicest crank call he had ever had.
||Moe had the call when when he worked at Zorgnax's Pub.
||I need a bath.
||Bart tried to do a prank call to Moe's when Otto was the bartender but he failed and was laughing by the other kids in the school bus insteadn.
|G. I. Manidiot
||Gee, I'm an idiot.
||Playing this prank on Moe is item #19 on Bart's "Stuff to Do" list.
When Moe realizes that it's actually a prank, he gets mad and gives the caller threats like:
- "It's you, isn't it, you cowardly little runt. When I get a hold of you, I'm gonna gut you like a fish and drink your blood!"
- "I'll shove a sausage down your throat and stick starving dogs in your butt!"
- "Listen to me, you, when I catch you, I'm gonna pull out your eyes and shove 'em down your pants so you can watch me kick the crap out of you, okay, then I'm gonna use your tongue to paint my boat!"
- "When I get a hold of you, I'm gonna use your head for a bucket and paint my house with your brains!"
- "Listen to me, you little scum sucking pus bucket, when I get my hands on you, I'm gonna pull out your eyes with a cork screw!"
- "You rotten little punk! If I ever get a hold of you, I'll stick my teeth into your cheek and rip your face off!"
- "I'm gonna chop you into little pieces and make you into a Rubik's Cube which I will never solve!"
On one occasion, Bart played a phone prank from his house, and right after Moe realized the call was a prank, Marge happened to pick up the phone and got an earful of Moe's threat. Bewildered by the harsh language that came over the phone as soon as she picked up the handset, Marge concluded that it must have been a crossed line.
Homer attempted to phone-prank Moe and it backfired, due to Moe repeating the name ("Eura Snotball") back to Homer. Homer, in typical fashion, interpreted it as an insult and threatened Moe: "If I find out who this is, I'll staple an American flag to your butt, and mail you to Iran."
Another time when Bart had just finished a prank call, Marge told him to go to Moe's and pick up Homer. Moe didn't recognize Bart as the phone prankster, but he did think that Bart's voice sounded familiar.
Uses by other characters
As a young woman, Bart's grandmother Mona would go camping in national parks and sign the registry with fake names. When she admitted this in Mr. Burns's hearing, Burns had her arrested on the charge of supplying false information on a national park register. Burns told her she was "going away for a long time", referring to her by one of the names she had often used, "Anita Bonghit" ("I need a bong hit").