A Star Is Torn/Quotes
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- Bart: From now on, I'm only eating food that I know had a soul.
- Homer: He's about to learn the most important lesson in the music business: don't trust people in the music business.
- Homer: [to Lisa] Do you know how many hours I had to work? How many people I had to yell at? How many tires I had to slash?
- Lisa: No one told you to yell and slash!
- Homer: It's called schmoozing!
- Homer: We're going to write and sing our way out of this God-forsaken hell hole.
- Marge: But your song said you liked Springfield?
- Homer: I wrote it about Shelbyville, then changed the names.
- Homer: [to Lisa] The song I wrote for you is so schmaltzy it makes "Moon River" sound like a farting orangutan.
- [While Apu is being robbed]
- Apu: Call the police.
- Homer: I need change for a dollar.
- Apu: No change without purchase.
- Homer: What's the cheapest thing you've got.
- Apu: A 2-ounce pack of chips. $5.99.
- Homer: $5.99, what a rip-off! Someone should shoot you.
- Krusty: Every week, we eliminate one contestant based on the votes cast by you, the audience.
- TV announcer: Disclaimer: All ballots were lost and vote totals made up.
- Krusty's Li'l Starmaker commercial announcer: We're not affiliated with American Idol. We've never even heard of American Idol.
- Lisa: That's Cameron. Girls go crazy over him. He's cute, unthreatening, and his smile brought a puppy back to life.
