The Scorpion's Tale/Quotes
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- Ralph Wiggum: I wet my arm-pants.
- Otto Mann: Hey, this is one of the planets on Star Trek.
- Grampa: Sour cream and chives? In my day, all we put on potatoes was pine needles and barber hair! I hate this century!
- Grampa: Good mornin', family! It's such a beautiful day, I thought I'd take my little friend here for a walk.
- Marge: Abe? Are you feeling all right?
- Grampa: Never better. The sun is shining, there's a spring in my slippers, and my wonderful son woke me up with a delicious cup of coffee.
- Lisa: Dad, is there anything unusual in Grampa's coffee?
- Homer: Uh, you look tense. Let's discuss this over a cup of Grampa's coffee.
- Grampa: [Giving money to Bart] Here ya go, champ! Go buy yourself some rock-and-roll records.
- Bart: [Excited] To the antique store!
- Grampa: [to Lisa] Now, what can I do for you? Eat something green? Vote for someone brown?
- Lisa: Dad! I know what you did!
- Grampa: Everything everyone just said is either obvious or wrong!
- Walter Hotenhoffer: These are my Suitcase Suzies who will use their beauty and free give-aways to make sure our drug is prescribed.
- Bart: [Noticing that the women are nearly identical] Cool! Are they robots?
- Woman: No, robots can develop human feelings. We're graduates of Arizona State.
- Walter Hotenhoffer: I scoop them up by the sorority.
- [A nerd in a building discovers where he is]
- Nerd: Uh, this is the nerd fraternity.
- Walter Hotenhoffer: Uh, drop them in research.
- Nerd: Nice.
