The Scorpion's Tale/Quotes

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Season 22 Episode Quotes
← 478 "Angry Dad: The Movie"
479
"The Scorpion's Tale"
"A Midsummer's Nice Dreams" 480 →


Bart: Oh my God! The legends are true
Milhouse Van Houten: Did you find gold?
Bart: Better—the prospectors left naughty French postcards!

Principal Skinner: Lisa, we have to go. Milhouse found a hippie skeleton and he's freaking out.
Milhouse: Never get off the bus! Never get off the bus!

Grampa: I got a right to be cranky! The food stinks and the TV's only got one channel!
Clark: That's a fish tank.
Grampa: You're a fish tank!
Clark: [distraught] That is so hurtful. Wish I was a fish tank. Then I could filter out his nasty words. Call me a fish tank...

Lisa: That doesn't seem fair—they won't let him escape, then they kick him out.

Grampa: Nose in a funny book, how rude! Ain't ya never heard of conversation?
Bart: [sighs] Fine. How's it goin'?
Grampa: Terrible—I got this new roommate and he won't stop yappin'!

Walther Hotenhoffer: My name is Walther Hotenhoffer and I'm in the pharmaceutical business.
Carl Carlson: I was wonderin' when that guy was gonna state his name and occupation.

Grampa: Not so fast, Fritz! Before you waltz off with my Grampa grease, I wanna know, what did you do during the war?
Walther Hotenhoffer: World War Two? I wasn't born yet.
Grampa: Funny how many Germans say that these days.

Homer: Thank you for the tour of your factory, Mister Wonka.
Walther Hotenhoffer: I am not Willy Wonka!
Bart: No, no. You're Augustus Gloop, the fat German boy!
Walther Hotenhoffer: Yah, it is true, I am Gloop. Being stuck in that tube changed me in so many ways.

Marge: At some point I think we should see a doctor.
Bart: No, it's cool—it's like we've got our own monster!
Homer: Your grandfather is not a monster. Now, let's chain him in the basement until the circus gets to town.
Grampa: Sounds good!

Lisa: So I guess the lesson here is...
Principal Skinner: If you go on a field trip, don't break off from the group.
Walther Hotenhoffer: And if you are a fat little boy in a chocolate factory, never try to drink from the river. The tube! My God! Every night I see the tube!
Season 22 Quotes
Elementary School Musical • Loan-a Lisa • MoneyBart • Treehouse of Horror XXI • Lisa Simpson, This Isn't Your Life • The Fool Monty • How Munched Is That Birdie in the Window? • The Fight Before Christmas • Donnie Fatso • Moms I'd Like to Forget • Flaming Moe • Homer the Father • The Blue and the Gray • Angry Dad: The Movie • The Scorpion's Tale • A Midsummer's Nice Dreams • Love Is a Many-Strangled Thing • The Great Simpsina • The Real Housewives of Fat Tony • Homer Scissorhands • 500 Keys • The Ned-liest Catch