The Scorpion's Tale/Quotes
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- Bart: Oh my God! The legends are true
- Milhouse Van Houten: Did you find gold?
- Bart: Better—the prospectors left naughty French postcards!
- Principal Skinner: Lisa, we have to go. Milhouse found a hippie skeleton and he's freaking out.
- Milhouse: Never get off the bus! Never get off the bus!
- Grampa: I got a right to be cranky! The food stinks and the TV's only got one channel!
- Retirement Castle orderly: That's a fish tank.
- Grampa: You're a fish tank!
- Retirement Castle orderly: [distraught] That is so hurtful. Wish I was a fish tank. Then I could filter out his nasty words. Call me a fish tank...
- Lisa: That doesn't seem fair—they won't let him escape, then they kick him out.
- Grampa: Nose in a funny book, how rude! Ain't ya never heard of conversation?
- Bart: [sighs] Fine. How's it goin'?
- Grampa: Terrible—I got this new roommate and he won't stop yappin'!
- Walther Hotenhoffer: My name is Walther Hotenhoffer and I'm in the pharmaceutical business.
- Carl Carlson: I was wonderin' when that guy was gonna state his name and occupation.
- Grampa: Not so fast, Fritz! Before you waltz off with my Grampa grease, I wanna know, what did you do during the war?
- Walther Hotenhoffer: World War Two? I wasn't born yet.
- Grampa: Funny how many Germans say that these days.
- Homer: Thank you for the tour of your factory, Mister Wonka.
- Walther Hotenhoffer: I am not Willy Wonka!
- Bart: No, no. You're Augustus Gloop, the fat German boy!
- Walther Hotenhoffer: Yah, it is true, I am Gloop. Being stuck in that tube changed me in so many ways.
- Marge: At some point I think we should see a doctor.
- Bart: No, it's cool—it's like we've got our own monster!
- Homer: Your grandfather is not a monster. Now, let's chain him in the basement until the circus gets to town.
- Grampa: Sounds good!
- Lisa: So I guess the lesson here is...
- Principal Skinner: If you go on a field trip, don't break off from the group.
- Walther Hotenhoffer: And if you are a fat little boy in a chocolate factory, never try to drink from the river. The tube! My God! Every night I see the tube!
