• Wikisimpsons needs more Featured Article, Picture, Quote, Episode and Comprehensive article nominations!
  • Wikisimpsons has a Discord server! Click here for your invite! Join to talk about the wiki, Simpsons and Tapped Out news, or just to talk to other users.
  • Make an account! It's easy, free, and your work on the wiki can be attributed to you.
TwitterFacebookDiscord

Flaming Moe/Quotes

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki


Season 22 Episode Quotes
474 "Moms I'd Like to Forget"
475
"Flaming Moe"
"Homer the Father" 476


Homer: Oh, no! I left a candy bar in my desk!
Late shift worker: That's funny, 'cause I found this candy bar in my desk! [eats the candy bar]
Homer: [angry, balling his fists] Time to punch in!
[Homer hits his late-shift counterpart, and a brawl quickly ensues.]

Waylon Smithers: Sir, the shifts are fighting like Iran and Iraq!
Mr. Burns: Who?
Smithers: Persia and Mesopotamia.

Smithers: Sir, is that your will?
Mr. Burns: It is. I know it's hard to see a young buck like me and think of a day when I'm no longer in the pink.
[Mr. Burns sneezes, and the top of his skull flips open to reveal his brain. He quickly flips it closed.]

[After his half hour of lucidity passes, Mr. Burns is riding on his lawyer's back, pretending he is riding a dinosaur. Homer walks into the room.]
Homer: Aaagghhh! A dinosaur! [Runs out of the room screaming]

[After Mr. Burns refuses to let Smithers see his will, Smithers sneaks into the office and has a look at it.]
Smithers: [reading Burns' will aloud] I, C. Montgomery Burns, hereby divide my estate and shares between the University Department of Applied Evil, Gary from Gary's Trap-Door Installation & Repair and finally, to my constant companion ...
[Cut to Smithers confronting Mr. Burns.]
Smithers: [indignant] Your tortoise?!

[Disappointed at learning he's been left out of Mr. Burns' will, Smithers decides to console himself by visiting Springfield's gay nightclub, The League of Extra-Horny Gentlemen.]
Smithers: Here's a place I can feel wanted.
[He gets in line outside the bar, where a doorman next to a velvet rope is screening who gets to go inside.]
Doorman: You with the six-pack, you're in. [He moves on to the next man in line.]
You with the Ben Affleck chin and the Matt Damon everything else, guess what. You're in.
[The doorman admits the next three men in line.] In. In. In.
[To a man in a pink outfit] Aahh. [The doorman smiles. Smithers arrives at the head of the line.]
Doorman: [to Smithers] In your dreams.
Smithers: Oh, c'mon, I've had a rough day.
Doorman: With the buzz cut and the bow tie? This is a nightclub, not a John F. Kennedy cabinet meeting.

[Rejected from the League of Extra-Horny Gentlemen, Smithers goes to Moe's.]
Smithers: Can I have a scotch and water?
Moe Szyslak: My scotch is a scotch and water.

[Smithers tries to persuade a group of Springfield's average-looking homosexuals to visit Moe's Tavern.]
Grady Little: Eeewww! Isn't that the place where all those rats committed suicide?

[At the made-over Mo's, Homer bumps into a Comic Book Guy look-a-like.]
Homer: Hey, I didn't know you were ... urgh ... you know ... one of those ...
Comic Book Gay: I am not Comic Book Guy. I am his cousin, Comic Book Gay.
Homer: But you do like comic books?
Comic Book Gay: A certain kind.

Moe: [after kissing Smithers] Not bad. Like Frisbee Golf, I'm glad I tried it once.

[After Principal Skinner runs off with his new girlfriend, Superintendent Chalmers appoints a new principal.]
Superintendent Chalmers: Willie, you're the new principal.
Groundskeeper Willie: Who's the new groundskeeper?
Chalmers: Also you. And you don't get more money.
Season 22 Quotes
Elementary School Musical Loan-a Lisa MoneyBart Treehouse of Horror XXI Lisa Simpson, This Isn't Your Life The Fool Monty How Munched Is That Birdie in the Window? The Fight Before Christmas Donnie Fatso Moms I'd Like to Forget Flaming Moe Homer the Father The Blue and the Gray Angry Dad: The Movie The Scorpion's Tale A Midsummer's Nice Dreams Love Is a Many-Strangled Thing The Great Simpsina The Real Housewives of Fat Tony Homer Scissorhands 500 Keys The Ned-liest Catch