Difference between revisions of "Pranksta Rap/Quotes"

Revision as of 11:48, August 20, 2019

Marge: Rap music promotes violence and rudeness to hoes.

Bart: I lied about being kidnapped. The whole thing was a hoax.

Wiggum: A hoax? A hoax!? Aw please, you can't takes this away from me! How would I explain it to Ralphie? That kid can't understand where the world goes when you close the drapes.

Bart's rap:

Don't critique my technique

I'm no geek.
I make the principal nervous

my friends can confirm this

I'll bust a spitwad in your epidermis

you can trace my remorse to its super-sized source

a hungry, hungry hypocrite named Homer, of course

my old man's pathetic

damn is his head thick

the gas from his ass is carcinogenic

every day I pray his DNA ain't genetic.

Bart: Well, I paid for this ticket. That makes me an adult. I'm going! [Bart leaves for a second, then comes back, hugging his Krusty doll.] I wuv you Krusty, Wusty! [Bart kisses his doll and leaves]

50 Cent: Yo! B, I heard you throw down on stage, wanna join my world tour?

Bart: Sorry, Fiddy, I have school tomorrow.

50 Cent: You're right. The more you know, the further you go, and that's one to grow on. [turns to his assistant] Does that count as community service?

Assistant: No!

50 Cent: A'ight take us to the park. We'll go pick up some dog poop.

Assistant: Yes, sir!

Milhouse: Are you mad at me?

Bart: No, it's not about you.

Milhouse: [disappointed] Oh, it's never about me!

Bart: Man, are you illin'.

Lisa: Rappers stopped saying "illin'" twelve years ago.

Bart: I'm keepin' it real!

Lisa: They stopped saying "keepin' it real" three years ago.

Bart: Mom! Lisa's dissin' me!

Marge: "Dissin'"? Do rappers still say that?

Wiggum: [reads headlines to self] "Wiggum Sleeps Through Riot", "Top Cop Surrenders to Backfiring Car", "Firemen Rescue Police Chief from Tree", "Commission: Wiggum Sucks" Wow I should have read these headlines a long time ago. Together they really paint a picture... a failure. And now, my only friend is the bottle [pulls out bottle of maple syrup and pancakes]

Barney Fife: [later] Rise and shine, Chief Wiggum. This pity party is over.

Wiggum: [startled] Wha?! Officer down! [sees Fife on the TV] Barney Fife?!

Barney: Y-E-S spells "you got it, buster!" and I wanna tell you that the feelings you have are common for every [sniff] brother of the badge.

Wiggum: Yeah, well my fat grew over my badge.

Barney: Oh, sour mash. You just gotta pull together and get the old [sniff] crime-sniffer out on the street.

Wiggum: You're right! It's time I buckle down and really do some police work!

Barney: Now that's the can-do attitude that puts dudes in the can! Ha, ha, ha. Well, I'm wanted back on the set.

Wiggum: Set? Are you the character or the actor who plays him?

Barney: [ghost-like voice] Now, I must goooooo!

Wiggum: What a minute. Now you're a ghost?

Barney: Avenge meeee!

Alcatraaaz: [throws Bart a Murder 4 Life jersey] Here ya go ya little yellow cracka. [to driver] Now let's go murder our enemies. [to Bart] Peace!

Homer: Bart's gone! I checked everywhere.

Marge: That little sneak disobeyed us and went to that hip hop festival!

Homer: If that's true he's gonna be like N.W.A: Not Without Ass-welts!

Kirk: Oh baby, what could be better than video poker and Chintsy-Pop? [takes a handful of popcorn] Wow! I'm lookin' at an inside straight! [presses a button, which replaces the ace with a five. The word "LOSER" appears with the losing music] Someday I'll hear the winning music. Someday.