Difference between revisions of "Dark Knight Court/Quotes"
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{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Black-Eyed, Please|What Animated Women Want}} | {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Black-Eyed, Please|What Animated Women Want}} | ||
| − | + | {{qf|[[Bart]]}} I know this looks bad. And I admit, I would totally lie in a second to Lisa or Mom or Dad, but I would never lie to Maggie. I did not do that prank. | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|[[Lisa]]}} Your Honor, I think we've seen enough. I have demolished the prosecution's claims and made the prosecutor sweat through two shirts. I move that you dismiss this case and release this sweet, lovable boy. | |
| − | + | {{qf|{{Ch|Janet Reno}}}} Motion denied. Miss Simpson, your grandstanding summation contained a grievous error. By calling your brother sweet and lovable, you opened the door to testimony from anyone who doesn't think he's sweet and lovable. | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Principal Skinner]]}} The prosecution calls everyone in the world! | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|[[Waylon Smithers]]}} I think you just sent away the first person you could have actually helped. | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Mr. Burns]]}} What do you mean, actually? I've punched out four Homer Simpson shaped burglars tonight alone. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Waylon Smithers}} All those crooks were fakes, set up by me. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Mr. Burns}} Even the Abominable Dr. Lenny? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Waylon Smithers}} No, he was a happy accident. But the rest were fakes, just like you, a man who claims to be a hero but is nothing more than a fraud with a cute little bod. | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Mr. Burns}} Smithers, I, too, shall become a crime-fighting bat. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Waylon Smithers}} Hmm. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Mr. Burns}} But I won't become just any bat. I shall be the terrifying bat who swoops from the sky and sucks the vital essence of his prey. I shall be Fruit Bat Man! | |
| − | + | {{qf|Waylon Smithers}} Great, great. I-I don't suppose you'll be forgetting about this tomorrow? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Mr. Burns}} No sooner than I'd forget my own mother. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Waylon Smithers}} That's not your mother, that's your bear. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Mr. Burns}} Well, then, where's my stuffed mother? | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Lisa}} Just remember this: a Simpson never gives up. | |
:''[The rest of the family laughs at her]'' | :''[The rest of the family laughs at her]'' | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Lisa}} This kilt says you framed my brother. Why? | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Groundskeeper Willie]]}} Because I hate Easter. You see, ladies, I'm not just a Presbyterian, I'm a Scottish Old Believer Presbyterian! Old Believers don't recognize holidays not celebrated by the original apostles, especially one named after the pagan god, Eostre! | |
{{Season 24|Q}} | {{Season 24|Q}} | ||
Latest revision as of 17:55, October 15, 2021
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- Bart: I know this looks bad. And I admit, I would totally lie in a second to Lisa or Mom or Dad, but I would never lie to Maggie. I did not do that prank.
- Lisa: Your Honor, I think we've seen enough. I have demolished the prosecution's claims and made the prosecutor sweat through two shirts. I move that you dismiss this case and release this sweet, lovable boy.
- Janet Reno: Motion denied. Miss Simpson, your grandstanding summation contained a grievous error. By calling your brother sweet and lovable, you opened the door to testimony from anyone who doesn't think he's sweet and lovable.
- Principal Skinner: The prosecution calls everyone in the world!
- Waylon Smithers: I think you just sent away the first person you could have actually helped.
- Mr. Burns: What do you mean, actually? I've punched out four Homer Simpson shaped burglars tonight alone.
- Waylon Smithers: All those crooks were fakes, set up by me.
- Mr. Burns: Even the Abominable Dr. Lenny?
- Waylon Smithers: No, he was a happy accident. But the rest were fakes, just like you, a man who claims to be a hero but is nothing more than a fraud with a cute little bod.
- Mr. Burns: Smithers, I, too, shall become a crime-fighting bat.
- Waylon Smithers: Hmm.
- Mr. Burns: But I won't become just any bat. I shall be the terrifying bat who swoops from the sky and sucks the vital essence of his prey. I shall be Fruit Bat Man!
- Waylon Smithers: Great, great. I-I don't suppose you'll be forgetting about this tomorrow?
- Mr. Burns: No sooner than I'd forget my own mother.
- Waylon Smithers: That's not your mother, that's your bear.
- Mr. Burns: Well, then, where's my stuffed mother?
- Lisa: Just remember this: a Simpson never gives up.
- [The rest of the family laughs at her]
- Lisa: This kilt says you framed my brother. Why?
- Groundskeeper Willie: Because I hate Easter. You see, ladies, I'm not just a Presbyterian, I'm a Scottish Old Believer Presbyterian! Old Believers don't recognize holidays not celebrated by the original apostles, especially one named after the pagan god, Eostre!
