Difference between revisions of "Homer and Apu/Quotes"
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{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Bart Gets Famous|Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy}} | {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Bart Gets Famous|Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy}} | ||
| − | {{ | + | :'''Customer 1:''' I need one twenty-nine cent stamp. |
| + | :'''[[Apu]]:''' That's a dollar eighty-five. | ||
| + | :'''Customer 2:''' I want two dollars worth of gas, please. | ||
| + | :'''Apu:''' Four-twenty. | ||
| + | :'''[[Martin Prince]]:''' How much is your penny candy? | ||
| + | :'''Apu:''' Surprisingly expensive. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | :'''[[Homer]]:''' Your old meat made me sick! | ||
| + | :'''Apu:''' I'm so sorry. Please accept five pounds of frozen shrimp. | ||
| + | :'''Homer:''' This shrimp isn't frozen and it smells funny. | ||
| + | :'''Apu:''' Okay, ten pounds. | ||
| + | :'''Homer:''' Woo hoo! | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | :'''[[Kent Brockman]]:''' All right, are you willing to go undercover to nail this creep? | ||
| + | :'''Homer:''' No way, man No way, man. Get yourself another patsy, man. No way am I wearing a freakin' wire. | ||
| + | :'''Brockman:''' All right, all right, all right. Would you be willing to wear a hidden camera and microphone? | ||
| + | :'''Homer:''' Oh, that I'll wear. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | :'''Homer:''' No, don't kill me! I didn't know there was film in that camera in that hat! I was unaware! I WAS UNAWAAARE! | ||
| + | :'''Apu:''' Mr. Simpson, you misunderstand me. In my village this is the traditional pose of apology. | ||
| + | :'''Homer:''' Oh. | ||
| + | :'''Apu:''' You know, now that I think about it, it may be a little confusing. Many have died needlessly. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | :'''Homer:''' You're selling what now? | ||
| + | :'''Apu:''' I am selling only the concept of karmic realignment. | ||
| + | :'''Homer:''' You can't sell that. Karma can only be portioned out by the cosmos. | ||
| + | :'''Apu:''' He's got me there. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | :'''Homer:''' Is he still out there? | ||
| + | :'''[[Marge]]:''' Yes, he's raking leaves. | ||
| + | :'''Homer:''' What? That's your job. If he starts doing Lisa's wood chopping... | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | :'''{{Ch|James Woods}}:''' Well, to be honest, in my upcoming movie I'm gonna be playing this tightly-wound convenience store clerk and you know, I, kinda like to research my roles and really get into it. For instance, "True Believer," I actually worked in a law firm for two months. And then the film "Chaplin," I had a little cameo in that, I actually traveled in time back to the 1920s where... I've, uh, said too much. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | :'''Apu:''' There she is, there she is, the world's first convenience store. | ||
| + | :'''Homer:''' This isn't very convenient. | ||
| + | :'''Apu:''' Must you dump on everything we do? | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | :'''[[Kwik-E-Mart president]]:''' You may ask me three questions. | ||
| + | :'''Apu:''' That's great, because all I need is one. | ||
| + | :'''Homer:''' Are you really the head of the Kwik-E-Mart? | ||
| + | :'''Kwik-E-Mart president:''' Yes. | ||
| + | :'''Homer:''' Really? | ||
| + | :'''Kwik-E-Mart president:''' Yes. | ||
| + | :'''Homer:''' You? | ||
| + | :'''Kwik-E-Mart president:''' Yes. I hope this has been enlightening for you. | ||
| + | :'''Apu:''' But, I must -- | ||
| + | :'''Kwik-E-Mart president:''' Thank you, come again. | ||
| + | :'''Apu:''' But... | ||
| + | :'''Kwik-E-Mart president:''' Thank you, come again. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | :'''Homer:''' Apu, if it'll make you feel any better, I've learned that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish [[Ned Flanders|Flanders]] was dead. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | :'''James Woods:''' Hey! Hey, you're Apu Nahasapeemapetilan, aren't you? You're the... you're like the guy... You're a legend around here. Can I ask you, is it, is it true you once worked ninety-six hours straight? | ||
| + | :'''Apu:''' Oh, yes. It was horrible. I'll tell you. By the end I thought I was a hummingbird of some kind. | ||
| + | :'''James Woods:''' Oh, yeah. You know, I studied your old security tapes. | ||
| + | :''[they start to watch the security tape]'' | ||
| + | :'''Apu:''' In a few minutes, I try to drink nectar out of Sanjay's head. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | :'''Apu:''' Ah! The searing kiss of hot lead--how I missed you! I mean, I think I'm dying. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | :'''[[Dr. Hibbert]]:'' Well, you are a very lucky man, Apu. You see, the bullet ricocheted off another bullet that was lodged in your chest from a previous robbery. | ||
| − | |||
| − | |||
| − | |||
{{Season 5|Q}} | {{Season 5|Q}} | ||
Revision as of 09:42, April 4, 2018
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- Customer 1: I need one twenty-nine cent stamp.
- Apu: That's a dollar eighty-five.
- Customer 2: I want two dollars worth of gas, please.
- Apu: Four-twenty.
- Martin Prince: How much is your penny candy?
- Apu: Surprisingly expensive.
- Homer: Your old meat made me sick!
- Apu: I'm so sorry. Please accept five pounds of frozen shrimp.
- Homer: This shrimp isn't frozen and it smells funny.
- Apu: Okay, ten pounds.
- Homer: Woo hoo!
- Kent Brockman: All right, are you willing to go undercover to nail this creep?
- Homer: No way, man No way, man. Get yourself another patsy, man. No way am I wearing a freakin' wire.
- Brockman: All right, all right, all right. Would you be willing to wear a hidden camera and microphone?
- Homer: Oh, that I'll wear.
- Homer: No, don't kill me! I didn't know there was film in that camera in that hat! I was unaware! I WAS UNAWAAARE!
- Apu: Mr. Simpson, you misunderstand me. In my village this is the traditional pose of apology.
- Homer: Oh.
- Apu: You know, now that I think about it, it may be a little confusing. Many have died needlessly.
- Homer: You're selling what now?
- Apu: I am selling only the concept of karmic realignment.
- Homer: You can't sell that. Karma can only be portioned out by the cosmos.
- Apu: He's got me there.
- Homer: Is he still out there?
- Marge: Yes, he's raking leaves.
- Homer: What? That's your job. If he starts doing Lisa's wood chopping...
- James Woods: Well, to be honest, in my upcoming movie I'm gonna be playing this tightly-wound convenience store clerk and you know, I, kinda like to research my roles and really get into it. For instance, "True Believer," I actually worked in a law firm for two months. And then the film "Chaplin," I had a little cameo in that, I actually traveled in time back to the 1920s where... I've, uh, said too much.
- Apu: There she is, there she is, the world's first convenience store.
- Homer: This isn't very convenient.
- Apu: Must you dump on everything we do?
- Kwik-E-Mart president: You may ask me three questions.
- Apu: That's great, because all I need is one.
- Homer: Are you really the head of the Kwik-E-Mart?
- Kwik-E-Mart president: Yes.
- Homer: Really?
- Kwik-E-Mart president: Yes.
- Homer: You?
- Kwik-E-Mart president: Yes. I hope this has been enlightening for you.
- Apu: But, I must --
- Kwik-E-Mart president: Thank you, come again.
- Apu: But...
- Kwik-E-Mart president: Thank you, come again.
- Homer: Apu, if it'll make you feel any better, I've learned that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead.
- James Woods: Hey! Hey, you're Apu Nahasapeemapetilan, aren't you? You're the... you're like the guy... You're a legend around here. Can I ask you, is it, is it true you once worked ninety-six hours straight?
- Apu: Oh, yes. It was horrible. I'll tell you. By the end I thought I was a hummingbird of some kind.
- James Woods: Oh, yeah. You know, I studied your old security tapes.
- [they start to watch the security tape]
- Apu: In a few minutes, I try to drink nectar out of Sanjay's head.
- Apu: Ah! The searing kiss of hot lead--how I missed you! I mean, I think I'm dying.
- 'Dr. Hibbert: Well, you are a very lucky man, Apu. You see, the bullet ricocheted off another bullet that was lodged in your chest from a previous robbery.
