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Difference between revisions of "The Otto Show/Quotes"

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{{TabQ
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{{TabQ}}
|episode=The Otto Show
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{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Black Widower|Bart's Friend Falls in Love}}
}}
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:''Otto's apartment. Otto cannot open the door, and is oblivious to the sign on it.''
+
{{qf|[[Marge]]}} My little guy's first rock concert. I hope the {{Chs|Spinal Tap}}s don't play too loud.
:'''Sign''': EVICTION NOTICE.YOU ARE ASKED TO VACATE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY.
+
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} Oh Marge, I went to thousands of heavy metal concerts and it never hurt me.
:'''Otto''': Hey landlord, some clown changed my locks.
+
{{qf|Marge}} Hmmm, well, all right, but make sure they don't pick up any of the band's attitudes towards women... liquor... religion... politics... really anything. ''[Homer hears ringing in his ears]''
:'''Landlord''': Yeah, can't you read? The sign says eviction notice. I am evicting you on account of you losing your job and you can no longer afford rent.
+
{{qf|Homer}} I hear ya. Come on boy.
:'''Otto''': Well, can't I at least get stuff?
+
----
:'''Landlord''': I already got all your personal possessions for you. Your entire inventory consisisted of a couple of psycho magazines and a jar of mustard.
+
{{qf|[[David St. Hubbins]]}} Well, after the Berlin Wall fell, our records started selling on the dismal side of the Iron Curtain, and naturally that gave us a boost.
:'''Otto''': I do not believe it!...I have mustard?
+
{{qf|[[Nigel Tufnel]]}} We're very big in Bulgaria, and wassisname, the other garia.
 +
{{qf|David}} Hungaria.
 +
{{qf|Nigel}} Yeah, whoever.
 +
{{qf|[[Derek Smalls]]}} I can't think of anyone who's benefited more from the death of Communism than us.
 +
{{qf|Nigel}} Oh, maybe the people who actually live in the Communist countries.
 +
{{qf|Derek}} Oh yeah, hadn't thought of that. I bet you're right.
 +
{{qf|Nigel}} Yeah, on the other hand, each of us just bought our own soccer team. How many Hungarias can say that, eh?
 +
----
 +
{{qf|[[Kent Brockman]]}} Tonight a city weeps as, for the first time ever, a hockey arena becomes a scene of violence following a concert by Spinal Tap.
 +
----
 +
:''[Homer and Marge buy Bart a guitar]''
 +
{{qf|Homer}} Now boy, we spent a lot of money. So you better get real good real fast or pow! ''[shakes fist]''
 +
{{qf|Marge}} Homer!
 +
{{qf|Homer}} Hey, I thought I was supposed to encourage him.
 +
----
 +
{{qf|[[Nelson]]}} Hey, Simpson, what are you trying to play?
 +
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} ''[embarrassed]'' {{W|Polly Wolly Doodle}}.
 +
{{qf|Nelson}} Oh yeah, well it sounds Polly Wolly Crappy. Haw haw! Burn.
 +
----
 +
{{qf|[[Lou]]}} Let's see your license, pal.
 +
{{qf|[[Otto Mann]]}} No can do. Never got one. But if you need proof of my identity, I wrote my name on my underwear. ''[checks underwear]'' Oh, wait, these aren't mine.
 +
{{qf|[[Principal Skinner]]}} Well, that tears it. Until you get a license and wear your own underwear, mister, you are suspended without pay.
 +
----
 +
{{qf|Bart}} Where's Otto?
 +
{{qf|Skinner}} Otto. That's one palindrome you won't be hearing for awhile.
 +
----
 +
{{qf|[[Patty Bouvier]]}} My name's Patty. I'll be testing you. When you do good, I use the green pen. When you do bad, I use the red pen. Any questions?
 +
{{qf|Otto}} Yeah, one. Have you always been a chick? I mean, I don't want to offend you but you were born a man, weren't you? You can tell me, I'm open-minded.
 +
{{qf|Patty}} ''[drops green pen]'' I won't be needing this.
 
----
 
----
:'''Marge''': Otto, you can't watch TV all day.
+
{{qf|Otto}} Hey Landlord, some clown changed my locks, padlocked the door and put up an eviction notice.
:'''Otto''': You're right. I should do some reading. You got any "Where's Waldo" books?
+
{{qf|Landlord}} Yeah, that was me.
:'''Marge''': No.
+
{{qf|Otto}} You! But... but why?
:'''Otto''': A book from a vampire’s point of view?
+
{{qf|Landlord}} Because you haven't paid your rent.
:'''Marge''': No.
+
{{qf|Otto}} Well, can I at least get my stuff?
:'''Otto''': Anything where guys send in naked pictures of their chicks?
+
{{qf|Landlord}} All I found in there was a jar of mustard and a couple of old cycle magazines.
:'''Marge''': Otto, I think you should get a job.
+
{{qf|Otto}} Wow, I had mustard?
:'''Otto''': The only job I was good at was driving a bus, and now "the man" says I need a piece of paper to do that.
 
 
----
 
----
(Otto starts playing guitar loudly.)
+
{{qf|Bart}} Otto-man? You're living in a dumpster?
:'''Homer''': Will you knock it off!? I can't hear myself think.
+
{{qf|Otto}} Oh, man, I wish. "Dumpster" brand trash bins are top of the line. This is just a "Trash-Co" waste disposal unit.
(Otto stops.)
+
{{qf|Bart}} Otto, why don't you come home with me? You can stay in our garage.
:'''Homer's Head''': I want some peanuts.
+
{{qf|Otto}} A garage?! Oh, somebody up there likes me.
:'''Homer''': That's better.
 
 
----
 
----
:'''Patty''': Hello, my name is Patty. I will be testing you. When you are doing well I use the green pen. When you are doing poorly I use the red pen. Any questions?
+
{{qf|Marge}} I don't understand this. Why can't you stay with your parents?
:'''Otto''': You were a man once, were you not? You can tell me, I am open minded.
+
{{qf|Otto}} The admiral and I don't get along. Please let me stay here. I've got nowhere else to go.
:''Patty drops green pen.''
+
{{qf|Homer}} Forget it. That line didn't work for my dad and it's not gonna work for you.
:'''Patty''': I will not be needing this.
 
 
----
 
----
:'''Homer''': Of course I'm not mad. If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing!
+
{{qf|Marge}} I know we didn't ask for this, Homer, but doesn't the Bible say, "Whatsoever you do to the least of my brothers, that you do unto me...?"
 +
{{qf|Homer}} Yes, but doesn't the Bible also say, "Thou shalt not take moochers into thy... hut"?
 
----
 
----
:'''Homer''': All right, he can stay. But I get to treat him like garbage.
+
{{qf|Homer}} Hey, how come you never play your guitar anymore?
:'''Otto''': Wow! What's the catch?
+
{{qf|Bart}} I'll tell you the truth, Dad. I wasn't good at it right away, so I quit. I hope you're not mad.
 +
{{qf|Homer}} Son, come here. Heh, heh, heh. Of course I'm not mad. If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing. You just stick that guitar in the closet next to your short wave radio, your karate outfit, and your unicycle and we'll go inside and watch TV.
 
----
 
----
:'''Bart''': Mom, I thought you might forget our little conversation this afternoon, so I took the precaution of recording it.
+
{{qf|Homer}} Listen you drain clogging, last cookie-eating, collect call-getting sponge, I want you out of my house!
:'''Marge''': What conversation?
 
:'''Bart''': (on tape) Mom, can Otto live in our garage for as long as he wants? (impression of Marge) He sure can!
 
:'''Homer''': Marge! What were you thinking?
 
:'''Marge''': That's not my voice!
 
:'''Homer''': Oh, everybody says that when they hear themselves on tape.
 
 
----
 
----
:'''Marge''': I know we did not ask for this Homer, but does not the Bible say "Whatsoever you do unto the least of my children, that which you do unto Me?"
+
{{qf|Marge}} Well, before you do that, maybe you should take the driving test again.
:'''Homer''': I think it also says "Thou shalt not...take moochers into thy hut."
+
{{qf|Otto}} Oh, I can't pass that thing. I got a zero last time; this time I'm hung over.
 +
{{qf|Bart}} You can do it, Otto. You're the coolest adult I ever met.
 +
{{qf|Otto}} Wow! I've never been called an adult before. I've been tried as one but... I'll do it!
 
----
 
----
:'''Skinner''': It's a miracle nobody was hurt.
+
{{qf|Otto}} I want to take the test again.
:'''Otto''': I stand on my record. Fifteen crashes and not a single fatality
+
{{qf|Patty}} Why?
 +
{{qf|Otto}} So I can staple my license to Homer Simpson's big bald head.
  
{{Season 3 Q}}
+
{{Season 3|Q}}
 +
{{DEFAULTSORT:Otto Show/Quotes}}

Latest revision as of 01:55, November 11, 2022


Season 3 Episode Quotes
056 "Black Widower"
057
"The Otto Show"
"Bart's Friend Falls in Love" 058


Marge: My little guy's first rock concert. I hope the Spinal Taps don't play too loud.
Homer: Oh Marge, I went to thousands of heavy metal concerts and it never hurt me.
Marge: Hmmm, well, all right, but make sure they don't pick up any of the band's attitudes towards women... liquor... religion... politics... really anything. [Homer hears ringing in his ears]
Homer: I hear ya. Come on boy.

David St. Hubbins: Well, after the Berlin Wall fell, our records started selling on the dismal side of the Iron Curtain, and naturally that gave us a boost.
Nigel Tufnel: We're very big in Bulgaria, and wassisname, the other garia.
David: Hungaria.
Nigel: Yeah, whoever.
Derek Smalls: I can't think of anyone who's benefited more from the death of Communism than us.
Nigel: Oh, maybe the people who actually live in the Communist countries.
Derek: Oh yeah, hadn't thought of that. I bet you're right.
Nigel: Yeah, on the other hand, each of us just bought our own soccer team. How many Hungarias can say that, eh?

Kent Brockman: Tonight a city weeps as, for the first time ever, a hockey arena becomes a scene of violence following a concert by Spinal Tap.

[Homer and Marge buy Bart a guitar]
Homer: Now boy, we spent a lot of money. So you better get real good real fast or pow! [shakes fist]
Marge: Homer!
Homer: Hey, I thought I was supposed to encourage him.

Nelson: Hey, Simpson, what are you trying to play?
Bart: [embarrassed] Polly Wolly Doodle.
Nelson: Oh yeah, well it sounds Polly Wolly Crappy. Haw haw! Burn.

Lou: Let's see your license, pal.
Otto Mann: No can do. Never got one. But if you need proof of my identity, I wrote my name on my underwear. [checks underwear] Oh, wait, these aren't mine.
Principal Skinner: Well, that tears it. Until you get a license and wear your own underwear, mister, you are suspended without pay.

Bart: Where's Otto?
Skinner: Otto. That's one palindrome you won't be hearing for awhile.

Patty Bouvier: My name's Patty. I'll be testing you. When you do good, I use the green pen. When you do bad, I use the red pen. Any questions?
Otto: Yeah, one. Have you always been a chick? I mean, I don't want to offend you but you were born a man, weren't you? You can tell me, I'm open-minded.
Patty: [drops green pen] I won't be needing this.

Otto: Hey Landlord, some clown changed my locks, padlocked the door and put up an eviction notice.
Landlord: Yeah, that was me.
Otto: You! But... but why?
Landlord: Because you haven't paid your rent.
Otto: Well, can I at least get my stuff?
Landlord: All I found in there was a jar of mustard and a couple of old cycle magazines.
Otto: Wow, I had mustard?

Bart: Otto-man? You're living in a dumpster?
Otto: Oh, man, I wish. "Dumpster" brand trash bins are top of the line. This is just a "Trash-Co" waste disposal unit.
Bart: Otto, why don't you come home with me? You can stay in our garage.
Otto: A garage?! Oh, somebody up there likes me.

Marge: I don't understand this. Why can't you stay with your parents?
Otto: The admiral and I don't get along. Please let me stay here. I've got nowhere else to go.
Homer: Forget it. That line didn't work for my dad and it's not gonna work for you.

Marge: I know we didn't ask for this, Homer, but doesn't the Bible say, "Whatsoever you do to the least of my brothers, that you do unto me...?"
Homer: Yes, but doesn't the Bible also say, "Thou shalt not take moochers into thy... hut"?

Homer: Hey, how come you never play your guitar anymore?
Bart: I'll tell you the truth, Dad. I wasn't good at it right away, so I quit. I hope you're not mad.
Homer: Son, come here. Heh, heh, heh. Of course I'm not mad. If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing. You just stick that guitar in the closet next to your short wave radio, your karate outfit, and your unicycle and we'll go inside and watch TV.

Homer: Listen you drain clogging, last cookie-eating, collect call-getting sponge, I want you out of my house!

Marge: Well, before you do that, maybe you should take the driving test again.
Otto: Oh, I can't pass that thing. I got a zero last time; this time I'm hung over.
Bart: You can do it, Otto. You're the coolest adult I ever met.
Otto: Wow! I've never been called an adult before. I've been tried as one but... I'll do it!

Otto: I want to take the test again.
Patty: Why?
Otto: So I can staple my license to Homer Simpson's big bald head.
Season 3 Quotes
Stark Raving Dad Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington When Flanders Failed Bart the Murderer Homer Defined Like Father, Like Clown Treehouse of Horror II Lisa's Pony Saturdays of Thunder Flaming Moe's Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk I Married Marge Radio Bart Lisa the Greek Homer Alone Bart the Lover Homer at the Bat Separate Vocations Dog of Death Colonel Homer Black Widower The Otto Show Bart's Friend Falls in Love Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?