Treehouse of Horror II/Quotes

Quotes

Season 3 Episode Quotes

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041

"Like Father, Like Clown"

042
"Treehouse of Horror II"

"Lisa's Pony"

043

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Marge: Homer, where'd you get the monkey's paw?

Homer: I got it from the stand... over... there.

[Points to an empty space. A gust of wind is blowing sand around.]

Homer: Oh, wait. It's over there.

Merchant: You will be sorry.

Kodos: They constructed a board with a nail in it, but they won't stop there. They'll construct bigger boards with bigger nails, and then they'll construct a board with a nail in it so large, it will destroy them all...

[Bart has just turned Homer into a Jack-in-the-Box. Marge enters the room.]

Marge: BART!

Bart: Lisa did it.

Marge: That's it, young man! You're coming with me!

[Bart glares at Marge.]

Marge: [smiling nervously and waving] Please?

[Mr. Burns has kicked the robot, causing it to fall and crush him.]

Mr. Burns: Have trouble breathing... organs leaking vital fluids... Smithers... I'm going to die.

Smithers: No! Cannot anything be done?!

Mr. Burns: We have one chance. Go to my office... open the desk... third drawer... there are... surgical tools... and some ether.

Homer: [wakes up and screams]

Marge: Did you have a nightmare, Homey?

Homer: No, Bart bit me.

Bart: Hey, man, you were crushing me. I tried to scream, but my mouth was full of flab.

Homer: Well, time to shake the dew off the lily.

[Homer awakens and enters bathroom. He turns on light to see a scary reflection in mirror.]

Homer: AUGH!

Mr. Burns: Perhaps you are curious as to why you have two heads. Well, my body was crushed, so I had my head grafted onto your, shall we say, ample frame.

Homer: [trying to stay calm] I can wake up. It's all a dream. It's just a dream.

Mr. Burns: Oh, that's right. It's all a dream... Or is it? [laughs diabolically] [Executive Producer credit appears]

[Fade to black, then Simpsons jingle plays.]

Narrator: Next week, on The Simpsons...

[Kitchen. Simpson family is eating breakfast.]

Lisa: [puts down the newspaper] Don't forget, Dad, tonight my class is having an all-you-can-eat spaghetti dinner.

Homer: Mmm... spaghetti.

Mr. Burns: [his head attached to Homer's shoulder] But Homer, tonight's our reception for Queen Beatrix of The Netherlands!

Homer: Oh, I hate having two heads.

← Season 2 Season 3 Quotes Season 4 →
Stark Raving Dad • Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington • When Flanders Failed • Bart the Murderer • Homer Defined • Like Father, Like Clown • Treehouse of Horror II • Lisa's Pony • Saturdays of Thunder • Flaming Moe's • Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk • I Married Marge • Radio Bart • Lisa the Greek • Homer Alone • Bart the Lover • Homer at the Bat • Separate Vocations • Dog of Death • Colonel Homer • Black Widower • The Otto Show • Bart's Friend Falls in Love • Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?