Flaming Moe's/Quotes
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- Collette: What do you offer in the way of salary?
- Moe: Minimum wage and tips. Of course, there are fringe benefits.
- Collette: Such as?
- Moe: An unforgettable weekend at Club Moe.
- Collette: I'd prefer to take my vacation somewhere hot.
- Moe: I like your moxie kid! You're hired.
- Collette: You won't regret this.
- Moe: Methinks I shan't.
- Bart: Uh, yes. I'm looking for a friend of mine. Last name Jass, first name Hugh.
- Moe: Hold on, I'll check. [to crowd] Hugh Jass. Oh, somebody check the men's room for Hugh Jass.
- [a man approaches Moe]
- Hugh Jass: Uh, I'm Hugh Jass.
- Moe: Telephone.
- [Moe hands Hugh the phone]
- Hugh: Hello, this is Hugh Jass.
- Bart: Uh, hi.
- Hugh: Who's this?
- Bart: Bart Simpson.
- Hugh: What can I do for you, Bart?
- Bart: Uh, look. I'll level with you, mister. This is a crank call that sorta backfired, and I'd like to bail out right now.
- Hugh: All right, better luck next time.
- Mayor Quimby: Henceforth, this date shall forever be known as Flaming Moe's Day!
- Advisor: Uh, sir, this is already Veterans' Day.
- Mayor Quimby: It can be two things!
- Moe: The Flaming Moe is not for sale. Do you know how much of my blood and sweat are in this drink? [everybody in the bar spits out their drink] Uh, figure of speech.
- Marge: Homer, maybe you can take some consolation in the fact that something you created is making so many people happy.
- Homer: Oh, look at me! I'm making people happy! I'm the magical man from Happyland in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Lane!
- [Homer walks out the room then sticks his head back in again]
- Homer: Oh, by the way, I was being sarcastic.
- Marge: Well, duh.
