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Homer at the Bat/Quotes

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Season 3 Episode Quotes
051 "Bart the Lover"
"Homer at the Bat"
"Separate Vocations" 053

[Jose Canseco is walking by a burning house when he hears a baby crying.]
Woman: My baby!
Jose Canseco: Don't worry ma'am, I'll save your baby!
Jose Canseco runs into burning house and emerges with baby.
Woman: Thank you!
[Cat mewling is heard.]
Woman: My cat!
Jose Canseco: Never fear ma'am, I'll save your cat!
[Jose Canseco runs into burning house and emerges with cat.]
Woman: Thank you Mr. Canseco!
["Camptown Races" is heard.]
Woman: My player-piano!
Jose Canseco: Oh, man!

[Springfield Hospital. Dr. Hibbert is using a Geiger counter on a sick Mike Scoscia.]
Dr. Hibbert: Er Mike try to lift your arm.
Mike Scioscia: Can't... lift arm... or speak... at... normal... rate
Dr. Hibbert: Now son, it looks like you have acute radiation poisoning.
Mike Scioscia: Will... I... be... able... to... play... softball... tomorrow?
Dr. Hibbert: [laughs] No, by tomorrow you'll barely be able to breath!
Mike Scioscia: Oh...man...
Nurse: Doctor come quick! Ken Griffey Jr. needs your help immediately, it looks like an overdose of nerve tonic.
[Dr. Hibbert sees Ken Griffey Junior in a wheelchair with an enlarged cranium.]
Dr. Hibbert: Oh my lord, gigantism!

[Wade Boggs is arguing in Moe's Tavern with a drunken Barney Gumble.]
Barney: And I say England's greatest Prime Minister was Lord Palmerston!
Boggs: Pitt the Elder!
Barney: Lord Palmerston!
Boggs: Pitt the Elder!!
Barney: O.K. You asked for it Boggs!
[Barney knocks Boggs out.]
Moe: Yeah, that's showing him, Barney! Heh, Pitt the Elder.
Barney: Lord Palmerston!!!
[Barney knocks Moe out too.]
Season 3 Quotes
Stark Raving Dad Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington When Flanders Failed Bart the Murderer Homer Defined Like Father, Like Clown Treehouse of Horror II Lisa's Pony Saturdays of Thunder Flaming Moe's Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk I Married Marge Radio Bart Lisa the Greek Homer Alone Bart the Lover Homer at the Bat Separate Vocations Dog of Death Colonel Homer Black Widower The Otto Show Bart's Friend Falls in Love Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?