Simprovised/Quotes
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- Chief Wiggum: [at the evidence locker] Let's see... Present for Ralph, present for Ralph... Ooh, what do we have here? [grabs a crossbow] Boy, Ralph would kill himself with this in two seconds. And somehow it'd be my fault.
- [Chief Wiggum leaves the evidence locker whistling and encounters with Lou]
- Chief Wiggum: Uh... You heard me whistling there, right? That indicates innocence.
- Lou: Uh.. Proclaiming your innocence indicates guilt.
- Chief Wiggum: Uh, yeah? Well, what does that mean?
- [he runs outside the door, enters on a car and drives away]
- Bart: Okay, so, at a Ralph party, always get to the cake before...
- [they see the cake deformed as Ralph's face]
- Lisa: Too late!
- Bart: Oh my treehouse sucks.
- Nelson Muntz: Haw-Haw! You have class envy!
- Mrs. Muntz: Nelson, honey, I told you to stop sayin' haw-haw.
- Nelson: Give me a dollar and I'll stop.
- Mrs. Muntz: I don't got a dollar!
- Nelson: Haw-Haw!
- Marge: Do you want to practice your speech on me?
- Homer: [chuckles] No need, honey! Same speech I give every year. The opening joke about Lenny's grandma always kills.
- Marge: You can't joke about her. They just put her on life support.
- Homer: What?! No! She's the linchpin!
- Marge: It's okay, it's okay. Everyone is terrified of public speaking. But just in case, I'll defrost a failure ham.
- Homer: You don't have faith in me! I have savers! If I get heckled, I'll say "Get a half-life!".
- [Marge stares at him]
- Marge: I'm sure that'll be funny to them.
- [Marge gets near the treehouse and sees Bart]
- Marge: Oh. Throwing away your "No Girls" sign? Is it time for you to have "the talk" with your dad? Because he's gonna have to read a few things first.
- Bart: No! I'm tearing it down. Ralph has a cool treehouse, and mine sucks.
- Marge: Well, Bart, your father built it, and he did the very best he could.
- [a flashback shows Homer building the treehouse on a sapling]
- Homer: I did my job. Now it's your turn, tree! Get growing!
- Marge: I'll tell you what, why don't I spruce it up for you? Huh?
- Bart: But you're an inside grown-up. Moms can't build treehouses.
- Marge: You realize that saying that is gonna make this mom work her keister off to make you the best darn treehouse you ever saw!
- Bart: Sounds good!
