Barthood/Quotes
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- Bart: Why is the sky blue?
- Homer: Hmm... I don't know. Just is.
- Bart: Why are clouds white?
- Homer: No clue.
- Bart: Why are people yellow?
- Homer: It's the way God made them.
- Bart: Why is grass green?
- Homer: So you can find your damn golf ball. Now I have a question for you. Why did you leave your toy car on the stairs?
- Bart: Why is blood red?
- Homer: Why do you ask?
- Bart: It's coming out your ear.
- Homer: D'oh!
- Bart: How come she can read and I can't?
- Professor Frink: All right, calm down, young man. Not to worry, you won't need to read. You see, customers will just point to a picture of the burger that they want you to flip. [exclaims] Because you're not gonna have anything going.
- Psychologist: Bart's disruptive behavior is probably caused by his feeling that you think other children are more deserving of attention.
- Homer: Mm, I see. And how can we help these other children?
- Marge: We're here for Bart.
- Psychologist: In a boy like Bart...
- Homer: Yeah?
- Psychologist: ...the attention he craves most is from his father.
- Homer: Pfft. Good luck with that.
- Psychologist: Take him camping!
- Homer: I do want to help him, I do.
- Psychologist: And your son is just looking for your love.
- Homer: Geez. For a psychologist, you sure know how to get into people's heads.
- Bart: [sniffs] Oh, weed. That can get me into a lot of trouble. Hey, idiots, the bong stays in the treehouse!
- Homer: Hey, boy. [laughs]
- Bart: Are you crazy? What if the cops come?
- Chief Wiggum: [laughing, coughing]
- Bart: You're here, too?
- Chief Wiggum: Yeah, must be weird for you. And-and think about this, man—the whole world is happening right now. I mean, India, China. It's crazy.
- Bart: Can you just leave me here with my dad?
- Chief Wiggum: All right, sure. I can fly! No, no, I can't! I can't!
- Bart: Dad, why is it you and I are never on the same page?
- Chief Wiggum: Officer down, man.
- Bart: Why are clouds brown?
- Homer: Pollution.
- Bart: Why is the grass green?
- Homer: 'Cause it's artificial.
- Bart: Then why are the sprinklers coming on?
- Homer: 'Cause I was too lazy to unhook them.
- Bart: Why aren't we moving?
- Homer: Because you're drunk and I'm stoned.
- Bart: Why does beer taste so good?
- Homer: 'Cause you've just had seven.
