To Courier with Love/Quotes
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"To Courier with Love"
- [After Lisa discovers the suitcase and the snake while in the plane to Paris]
- Homer: I can't break her heart.
- Lisa: Well, you can't let anything bad happen to that snake!
- Homer: I promise. And you have to promise to preserve another endangered species: My marriage.
- Lisa: I promise.
- Homer: For the first time a snake has ruined paradise!
- Marge: Homer, you have to do more!
- Homer: Ook?!
- Marge: I'm getting tired of your "Ooks". I can't do this alone. Where's your chore list?
- Homer: Oh, I'm taking care of that! It's laminated. And to make sure I do it... [shows Marge a doodle of her on the back of the chore list] Hmm?
- [Marge groans]
- [Homer, Bart, Lisa and Maggie find an old car on the garage]
- Lisa: I've never seen this. It must've been left by some previous owner.
- Homer: Holy moly, a valuable antique car!! This is the find of a lifetime! Oh, it's a stick.
- [Homer enters the car and starts the engine]
- Lisa: Dad, shouldn't we see who owns the car?
- Homer: Now, sweetie, according to the ancient law of Trover, abandoned property passes to the subsequent landowner.
- Bart: Man, ever since you watched Medieval Tomb Robbers on the History Channel, everything with you is Trover, Trover, Trover!
- Homer: Boy, either show me a writ of replevin or pipe down!
- Homer: Well, if it isn't my favorite gal in my favorite room!
- Marge: I'm glad you had a good day.
- Homer: You don't sound glad.
- Marge: I'm not glad.
- Homer: But you said you were glad!
- Marge: You need to read between the lines.
- Homer: Why? There's just white space there.
- Marge: [crying] I'm sorry, Homie. Your life is full of fun surprises. My life sucks!
- [sobs and grabs a box of tissues]
- Homer: [thinking] Uh-oh. Tissues. [Marge lays down on the bed] W... would it help if I rubbed your back? Huh? Eh? Uh...
- Marge: Your hands smell like steering wheel.
- Homer: Poor Marge. What do I do? Help me, universe! [the doorbell rings and Homer opens the door] Jay Leno?!
- Jay Leno: Hiya! I was just passing in my 1973 Citroen DS Pallas when I saw that classic Morgan with the original wood dash interior. Man, I... I'd like to buy it!
- Homer: You'll have to pay cash with no questions asked.
- Jay Leno: How much you want?
- Homer: I said no questions!
- [Homer and Lisa try to release the snake at the Louvre]
- Lisa: Okay, you're free! Now, remember to respect this ecosystem. [the snake stays still]
- Homer: Come on, go! You'll be a snake that lives in Paris. It's a children's book that writes itself!
- [Ugolín and Cesar appear]
- Ugolín: Not so fast!
- Lisa: [gasps] How did you find us?
- Cesar: All tourists come to the Louvre.
- Homer: Hey, it's got great paintings.
- Ugolín: Oh, yeah? Name two.
- Homer: Uh... Uh... Uh...
- Lisa: Don't patronize us! You make belts from snakes!
- Cesar: We treat our high fashion animals in the most humane manner.
- [A brief scene showing a crocodile getting drunk and then hit in a factory is showed; then the scene goes back to Homer, Lisa, Ugolín and Cesar]
- Lisa: [gasps] You're monsters.
- Cesar: True, but that is just a part of who we are.
- Ugolín: We are also poets.
- Cesar: Communists.
- Ugolín: Experts on mustard.
- [Ugolín and Cesar realise Homer and Lisa have left]
- Cesar: They're gone!
- Ugolín: If we want to be criminals, we should keep a better eye on people. It's really not that hard.
- Cesar: Do not worry. There is one surefire way to find the Americans. [shouts loudly] Marco!
- Homer: [far off] Polo!
- Homer: It's time for me to do what I do best: prolong this marriage!
- Homer: Fortune favors the bald.
- Homer: For Marge I will make the supreme sacrifice of not doing something.