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To Courier with Love/Quotes

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Season 27 Episode Quotes
593 "Fland Canyon"
"To Courier with Love"
"Simprovised" 595

[After Lisa discovers the suitcase and the snake while in the plane to Paris]
Homer: I can't break her heart.
Lisa: Well, you can't let anything bad happen to that snake!
Homer: I promise. And you have to promise to preserve another endangered species: My marriage.
Lisa: I promise.
Homer: For the first time a snake has ruined paradise!

Marge: Homer, you have to do more!
Homer: Ook?!
Marge: I'm getting tired of your "Ooks". I can't do this alone. Where's your chore list?
Homer: Oh, I'm taking care of that! It's laminated. And to make sure I do it... [shows Marge a doodle of her on the back of the chore list] Hmm?
[Marge groans]

[Homer, Bart, Lisa and Maggie find an old car on the garage]
Lisa: I've never seen this. It must've been left by some previous owner.
Homer: Holy moly, a valuable antique car!! This is the find of a lifetime! Oh, it's a stick.
[Homer enters the car and starts the engine]
Lisa: Dad, shouldn't we see who owns the car?
Homer: Now, sweetie, according to the ancient law of Trover, abandoned property passes to the subsequent landowner.
Bart: Man, ever since you watched Medieval Tomb Robbers on the History Channel, everything with you is Trover, Trover, Trover!
Homer: Boy, either show me a writ of replevin or pipe down!

Homer: Well, if it isn't my favorite gal in my favorite room!
Marge: I'm glad you had a good day.
Homer: You don't sound glad.
Marge: I'm not glad.
Homer: But you said you were glad!
Marge: You need to read between the lines.
Homer: Why? There's just white space there.
Marge: [crying] I'm sorry, Homie. Your life is full of fun surprises. My life sucks!
[sobs and grabs a box of tissues]
Homer: [thinking] Uh-oh. Tissues. [Marge lays down on the bed] W... would it help if I rubbed your back? Huh? Eh? Uh...
Marge: Your hands smell like steering wheel.

Homer: Poor Marge. What do I do? Help me, universe! [the doorbell rings and Homer opens the door] Jay Leno?!
Jay Leno: Hiya! I was just passing in my 1973 Citroen DS Pallas when I saw that classic Morgan with the original wood dash interior. Man, I... I'd like to buy it!
Homer: You'll have to pay cash with no questions asked.
Jay Leno: How much you want?
Homer: I said no questions!

[Homer and Lisa try to release the snake at the Louvre]
Lisa: Okay, you're free! Now, remember to respect this ecosystem. [the snake stays still]
Homer: Come on, go! You'll be a snake that lives in Paris. It's a children's book that writes itself!
[Ugolín and Cesar appear]
Ugolín: Not so fast!
Lisa: [gasps] How did you find us?
Cesar: All tourists come to the Louvre.
Homer: Hey, it's got great paintings.
Ugolín: Oh, yeah? Name two.
Homer: Uh... Uh... Uh...
Lisa: Don't patronize us! You make belts from snakes!
Cesar: We treat our high fashion animals in the most humane manner.
[A brief scene showing a crocodile getting drunk and then hit in a factory is showed; then the scene goes back to Homer, Lisa, Ugolín and Cesar]
Lisa: [gasps] You're monsters.
Cesar: True, but that is just a part of who we are.
Ugolín: We are also poets.
Cesar: Communists.
Ugolín: Experts on mustard.
[Ugolín and Cesar realise Homer and Lisa have left]
Cesar: They're gone!
Ugolín: If we want to be criminals, we should keep a better eye on people. It's really not that hard.
Cesar: Do not worry. There is one surefire way to find the Americans. [shouts loudly] Marco!
Homer: [far off] Polo!

Homer: It's time for me to do what I do best: prolong this marriage!

Homer: Fortune favors the bald.

Homer: For Marge I will make the supreme sacrifice of not doing something.

Season 27 Quotes
Every Man's Dream 'Cue Detective Puffless Halloween of Horror Treehouse of Horror XXVI Friend with Benefit Lisa with an "S" Paths of Glory Barthood The Girl Code Teenage Mutant Milk-Caused Hurdles Much Apu About Something Love Is in the N2-O2-Ar-CO2-Ne-He-CH4 Gal of Constant Sorrow Lisa the Veterinarian The Marge-ian Chronicles The Burns Cage How Lisa Got Her Marge Back Fland Canyon To Courier with Love Simprovised Orange Is the New Yellow